Relationship Is there a death you haven't gotten over it?

My Dad. It’s only been 10 months so that’s probably normal, but honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever truly get over it. It was sudden and unexpected. Septic shock due to a burst appendix (which we learned four months later after the autopsy report was complete was actually due to appendix cancer which we never knew he had).

I had literally visited him with my son four days earlier for the Canada Day long weekend. Then I get a call that he’s in the hospital and I need to come immediately. I do the 3 hour drive at 5:30am from Edmonton to Calgary and get there and he dies 10 minutes later with me holding his hand. I never got to say goodbye.
 
Law Talkin’ Guy said:
My Dad. It’s only been 10 months so that’s probably normal, but honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever truly get over it. It was sudden and unexpected. Septic shock due to a burst appendix. I had literally visited him with my son four days earlier. Then I get a call that he’s in the hospital and I need to come immediately. I do the 3 hour drive at 5:30am from Edmonton to Calgary and get there and he dies 10 minutes later with me holding his hand. I never got to say goodbye.
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Same thing with my Grandpa who was basically my Dad too. He was fine the day before and never woke up the next day. When my Mom died we knew it was going to happen in the next few months, this was just completely out of the blue with my Grandpa and he was only 55 at the time.
 
My mom, she died suddenly in February this year, talked to her on the phone and then the next day she never responded or answered to anyone. She had some health problems but started to improve so I talked her into moving in with me (I work out of state) which she was supposed to in March or April. Her birthday was in April and we had a ton of plans. The room I was putting together for her with a new bed, dressers and everything I havent even went into that room since.

I feel like I've been stuck in 1 long never ending day since she's been gone as she's someone I talked to every single day and was easily my best friend.
 
Took me longer to get over a friend than it did older family members. Probably because he was only 24 and we went out and had a blast two nights before, I left him sleeping on my couch while I went to work Thursday morning and he was gone Friday afternoon.
 
Deaths that sucked. My aunt, cause didn't see her in 10 years but at least talked to her on the phone. My best friends dad. Being at his house and he's not there. His sister being damaged by it when it happened. My dog, I was out the coutry most of his last years. Wish sort of would have had more fun with him, I still love him. Celebrity wise sucks that Chester Benington died. Was a huge fan. But nothing that broke me or traumatised me. Once also another dog that I had got hit by a car and came back home with my brother and died in front of me. Like stood up and colapsed 3 times. Was depressed for 2 weeks after that. Wished I took it on more walks. My dad is turning 80 soon mom 77. But it's kinda normal when people get really old. But hurts to see them age rapidly when you live in another country and visit home. So I'm ok.
 
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2 For me.

1. College buddy. Great dude. Kid lit up the room, just such a happy and joyful personality and made going out FUN.

Lost his way after college, we had lost touch. Found out after his divorce he was found hogtied and murdered in a hotel room. He brought a guy he thought was friendly back to do some drugs and the dude probably snuck him, robbed him and killed him. All over a pocket full of drugs and whatever he might have had in his wallet.

Fucking waste of human life had dozens of prior felonies, laundry list of VIOLENT charges, and he was walking the street.

Still pisses me off.

___________________________


The others, and this will sound weird because just this very morning I typed about how amazing my marriage is.

) A great girl. Probably could have been the one and I think it would have been really really good for her. For me, I don't know, she drank and that could have been REALLY dangerous for me at that point in my life. She was that rare rare girl who can actually hang with the boys. Travel on a show string budget, say yes to adventure.

She is alive, but she is a person I was once close to whom I have lost. And I worry about her. I saw a mutual friend this weekend and I was hoping he would tell me she was happy. But she is divorced.
I hope she is OK. But I also can't risk creating a rift in my own marriage by contacting her.
 
My brother.

He died three years ago this month after battling drug addiction, as well as being in & out of jail, for over a decade.

He seemed to be getting his life back on track & had a new job lined up with a former employer (he was an amazing carpenter). I hired him to do some work on my house & even though I know it's not my fault it haunts me knowing he took the money I paid him & used it for drugs.

My parents found him dead in their backyard (he'd been living there after being released from jail). The coroner's findings were that he'd done coke, OD'ed, his heart gave out which caused him to fall coming out of the garage & hit his head on the concrete steps.

As hard as it is for me, I can't imagine what it was like for my Mom & Dad (who found him) or my other brother (who's birthday it was & will forever have to share it with our brother's passing).

R.I.P. CJ
 
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Dad and Mom. Pops died of liver cancer at home. Despite being estranged for decades, a couple of my sisters flew in after Dad left the Hospital the last time. A couple days before he passed he said to me "don't let them put any more pain patches on my neck." When I stepped away for a few hours, they did infact put more fentanyl patches on his neck, he never woke again.

Mom was diagnosed with Parkinsons dementia in 2014. The same Sisters that sent my Dad to the afterlife pain free against his wishes, jumped in to action again. Between 2014 and 2019, they abused and absorbed her life savings. When the money was gone, they begin neglecting her health. She fought malnourishment, dehydration, and constant infections from besores the last 5 year of her life.

I wont get over either one. I'm constantly searching my mind for what I could have done different to protect my parents from my siblings.
 
My paternal grandmother.

It’s been a very long time since her passing(25 years) but I still think of her everyday. She got me to read all the time, and question everything. The only person in my family that actually gave a fuck about us, and just the world in general.

RIP to the best person who ever walked this planet of ours. Your grannies cannot compete.
 
my mom and my grandparents
My youth
O.J. Simpson now we'll never who the real killer is
Video stores
 
gondo said:
It was my grandpas death from 22 years that I thought was the hardest to get over. It has nothing on my brothers sudden passing from January of this year. I didn’t have the best relationship with him but it was by no means terrible. I know it’s still somewhat fresh but it has seriously messed me up since it happened. I’m finding it very difficult to find any kind of joy in anything I do these days.
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Doing good works for others helps a lot. Bring joy to yourself by bringing joy to others.
 
I’ve had a lot of death in my life and overall it’s the same. It never really goes away but you live your life. You’ll think of them at random times and miss them but you don’t stop living until you do
 
If we speak celebrity deaths, Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell, and I feel they are related .
Personal- my only IRL friend who was into MMA, he died from cancer last summer.
We were friends for 15 years, he was a wonderful guy, very intelligent, curious and knowledgeable.
 
Akira Toriyama death hit hard. Really made me think about my childhood memories and fond memories talking about dragonballz.
 
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