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- 15,980
why?
News Britney Spears's Family and Ex report she is on Meth and 'in an extremely dangerous place'.
- Thread starter 650lb Sumo
- Start date
why?
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- 7,096
I deleted my post.
- Joined
- Mar 8, 2005
- Messages
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- 15,980
Ahhh, gotcha.I thought you were saying I should delete that post. Was wondering if it was an issue of me posting a picture of 16 year old Britney. I assumed it was fine but got worried for a minute
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I could probably get you (or anyone else that wants it) an e-book version once it comes out. The university has something called OMNI library network, and they have virtually everything under sun (fiction/non fiction, scientific articles etc.) in electronic format. There are seemingly no restrictions on sharing the files (unlike DRM protected like the Kindle App has).
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Writer Neil Strauss did a interview with her for MTV or rolling stones back in early 2000s. He described her as physically attractive but came off masculine. Very friendly but extremely confused. Uncomfortable in her own skin. These Disney kids are taken advantage of.
She was 16 when he first hit song came out. Her parents and handlers dressed her up like a young school girl and made her a sexual object.....at 16!!
Ooops I did it again, when she had just turned 18 and they basically put her in a latex body suit.
That's creepy AF and more so when that's legal age in many countries.
They build them up, they steal souls like MK Shang Tsung, and they destroy in the media. I was not a fan but I'm a less of a fan of hee exploitation and media attack. It's incredibly evil.
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That was a great book. So was Jenna Jameson's.
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2021
- Messages
- 7,147
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- 16,686
https://news.sky.com/story/britney-...in-timberlake-to-the-conservatorship-12991137
Early Life
Spears describes an often difficult home life growing up in Kentwood, Louisiana, saying her mother Lynne and father Jamie 'argued constantly'. She talks about his struggles with alcohol, which were also described during later conservatorship hearings. 'I was usually scared in my home,' she says, and 'nothing was ever good enough' for him.
Drinking, Smoking and Driving
Aged nine, after failing to get into the Mickey Mouse Club on her first audition because she was too young, she says she went back to Louisiana and worked in a seafood restaurant, 'cleaning shellfish and serving plates of food while doing my prissy dancing in my cute little outfits'. By the age of 13, the star says she was drinking and smoking, and that she started driving at that age, too.
Justin Timberlake
After getting into the Mickey Mouse Club on her second attempt - a 'boot camp for the entertainment industry' - Spears got to know fellow future stars including Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake.
She had her first kiss with him during a game of Truth Or Dare and that they later started dating as their careers launched, hers as a solo star and his with NSYNC. She says she was 'so in love with him it was pathetic'.
Details of Spears having an abortion during their relationship were revealed prior to the book's release, with Spears saying of the pregnancy: 'For me, it wasn't a tragedy. But Justin definitely wasn't happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.'
The star admits cheating on Timberlake once but claims this came as she knew he had cheated on her several times. ... Justin and I had been living together, and I'd been having sex since I was 14.
Religion and Prescription Drugs
The star says she turned to religion - and prescription drugs. 'Trying to find ways to protect my heart from criticism and to keep the focus on what was important, I started reading religious books... I also started taking Prozac.'
Madonna and Kabbalah
The star says that she started to suffer from increasing anxiety as her fame grew and 'it became clear to me that whatever I did - and even plenty I didn't do - became front-page news'. During a difficult period, she says Madonna visited her and 'probably had some intuitive sense of what I was going through'.
Madonna 'did a red-string ceremony with me to initiate me into Kabbalah', Spears says, and she went on to have a Hebrew word tattooed at the base of her neck.
Mental Health
But the singer says she suffered depression after Jayden was born. 'I got a little depressed once I was no longer keeping them safe inside my body. They seemed so vulnerable out in the world of jockeying paparazzi and tabloids.
'I began to suspect that I was a bit overprotective when I wouldn't let my mom hold Jayden for the first two months... Honestly, as a new mother, it was as if some part of me became the baby.'
Spears says she hopes her story might help others suffering. 'I hope any new mothers reading this who are having a hard time will get help early... I now know that I was displaying just about every symptom of perinatal depression: sadness, anxiety, fatigue.'
Meltdown
Spears says she did not go out often but any occasion she did would make headlines. She says her drinking was never out of control but that her 'drug of choice' was Adderall, which is used to treat ADHD. 'It gave me a few hours of feeling less depressed,' she says, and goes on to say she 'never had any interest in hard drugs'.
Amid a custody battle and following the death of her aunt from cancer at the beginning of 2007, Spears infamously shaved her head and the photos created headlines around the world. In her memoir, she says this came after a period in which she had not been able to see her sons 'for weeks' and that paparazzi followed her as she 'begged' to see them. Shaving her head, she says, 'gave them some material'.
'Everyone thought it was hilarious. Look how crazy she is! Even my parents acted embarrassed by me. But nobody seemed to understand that I was simply out of my mind with grief. My children had been taken away from me.'
Spears says that 'everyone was scared' of her with her new look, but it was her way of 'saying to the world: f*** you'. She was 'tired' of being 'the good girl'.
A few days later, Spears was pictured attacking a paparazzi photographer's car with an umbrella. She describes how she 'snapped' as he would not leave her along during 'one of the worst moments of my whole life'.
She goes on to say that afterwards, she was embarrassed - and even sent the agency an apology note 'mentioning that I'd been in the running for a dark film role, which was true, and that I wasn't quite myself, which was also true'.
Conservatorship and Hospitalisation
A lot of the book tackles the subject of Spears's conservatorship, which controlled her life for 13 years. Writing about the start of the legal arrangement, the star says she 'begged the court to appoint literally anyone else - and I mean anyone off the street would have been better - my father was given the job'.
She says the court was told 'that I was demented, and I wasn't even allowed to pick my own lawyer'. She had been admitted to hospital 'against my will', she says, and soon after she was informed that the conservatorship had been filed.
After this, she describes how sometimes she would be 'smuggled a private phone', but says she was 'always caught'. And 'the sad, honest truth' was that 'after everything I had been through, I didn't have a lot of fight left in me'. Spears says she 'didn't see a way out' and 'felt my spirit retreat, and I went on autopilot'. She says she 'went along with it' for her children.
'It's difficult for me to revisit this darkest chapter of my life and to think about what might have been different if I'd pushed back harder then,' she says. 'I don't at all like to think about that, not whatsoever. I can't afford to, honestly. I've been through too much.'
As she detailed in court in 2021, Spears describes being given daily medication and having her every move watched.
'If I was so sick that I couldn't make my own decisions, why did they think it was fine for me to be out there smiling and waving and singing and dancing in a million time zones a week?' she writes. 'I'll tell you one good reason. The Circus Tour grossed more than $130m.'
She says she exchanged her freedom for time with her children. 'It was a trade I was willing to make.'
Security would run background checks and do blood tests on any men she wanted to date, she says.
Spears says she 'became a robot. But not just a robot - a sort of child-robot. I had been so infantilised that I was losing pieces of what made me feel like myself... The conservatorship stripped me of my womanhood, made me into a child.'
On stage, she says she held back in an attempt to rebel. 'I did the moves and I sang the notes, but I didn't put the fire behind it that I had in the past. Toning down my energy onstage was my own version of a factory slowdown.'
At the end of her Las Vegas residency, Spears claims she was again hospitalised against her will, and that she was put on lithium. 'I felt my concept of time morph, and I grew disoriented,' she says, adding that she felt like she was in 'solitary confinement'. She says she came close to suicide during this period.
Once she was home, she says she reported her father for alleged 'conservatorship abuse' in June 2021. On getting to tell her story in court, she says she felt like she'd 'finally been listened to' after 13 years. Speaking about the decision to end the legal arrangement, which came in November 2021, she says: 'And now, finally, it was my own life.'
Sam Asghari
Spears says Asghari helped her believe she could do anything and that they wanted to have a baby - but as she said during her conservatorship court hearings, she had been fitted with an IUD - she alleges her father would not allow her to have it removed.
After the end of the conservatorship, she did become pregnant but miscarried. 'I was devastated to have lost the baby. Once again, though, I used music to help me gain insight and perspective.
'Every song I sing or dance to lets me tell a different story and gives me a new way to escape. Listening to music on my phone helps me cope with the anger and sadness I face as an adult.'
Early Life
Spears describes an often difficult home life growing up in Kentwood, Louisiana, saying her mother Lynne and father Jamie 'argued constantly'. She talks about his struggles with alcohol, which were also described during later conservatorship hearings. 'I was usually scared in my home,' she says, and 'nothing was ever good enough' for him.
Drinking, Smoking and Driving
Aged nine, after failing to get into the Mickey Mouse Club on her first audition because she was too young, she says she went back to Louisiana and worked in a seafood restaurant, 'cleaning shellfish and serving plates of food while doing my prissy dancing in my cute little outfits'. By the age of 13, the star says she was drinking and smoking, and that she started driving at that age, too.
Justin Timberlake
After getting into the Mickey Mouse Club on her second attempt - a 'boot camp for the entertainment industry' - Spears got to know fellow future stars including Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake.
She had her first kiss with him during a game of Truth Or Dare and that they later started dating as their careers launched, hers as a solo star and his with NSYNC. She says she was 'so in love with him it was pathetic'.
Details of Spears having an abortion during their relationship were revealed prior to the book's release, with Spears saying of the pregnancy: 'For me, it wasn't a tragedy. But Justin definitely wasn't happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.'
The star admits cheating on Timberlake once but claims this came as she knew he had cheated on her several times. ... Justin and I had been living together, and I'd been having sex since I was 14.
Religion and Prescription Drugs
The star says she turned to religion - and prescription drugs. 'Trying to find ways to protect my heart from criticism and to keep the focus on what was important, I started reading religious books... I also started taking Prozac.'
Madonna and Kabbalah
The star says that she started to suffer from increasing anxiety as her fame grew and 'it became clear to me that whatever I did - and even plenty I didn't do - became front-page news'. During a difficult period, she says Madonna visited her and 'probably had some intuitive sense of what I was going through'.
Madonna 'did a red-string ceremony with me to initiate me into Kabbalah', Spears says, and she went on to have a Hebrew word tattooed at the base of her neck.
Mental Health
But the singer says she suffered depression after Jayden was born. 'I got a little depressed once I was no longer keeping them safe inside my body. They seemed so vulnerable out in the world of jockeying paparazzi and tabloids.
'I began to suspect that I was a bit overprotective when I wouldn't let my mom hold Jayden for the first two months... Honestly, as a new mother, it was as if some part of me became the baby.'
Spears says she hopes her story might help others suffering. 'I hope any new mothers reading this who are having a hard time will get help early... I now know that I was displaying just about every symptom of perinatal depression: sadness, anxiety, fatigue.'
Meltdown
Spears says she did not go out often but any occasion she did would make headlines. She says her drinking was never out of control but that her 'drug of choice' was Adderall, which is used to treat ADHD. 'It gave me a few hours of feeling less depressed,' she says, and goes on to say she 'never had any interest in hard drugs'.
Amid a custody battle and following the death of her aunt from cancer at the beginning of 2007, Spears infamously shaved her head and the photos created headlines around the world. In her memoir, she says this came after a period in which she had not been able to see her sons 'for weeks' and that paparazzi followed her as she 'begged' to see them. Shaving her head, she says, 'gave them some material'.
'Everyone thought it was hilarious. Look how crazy she is! Even my parents acted embarrassed by me. But nobody seemed to understand that I was simply out of my mind with grief. My children had been taken away from me.'
Spears says that 'everyone was scared' of her with her new look, but it was her way of 'saying to the world: f*** you'. She was 'tired' of being 'the good girl'.
A few days later, Spears was pictured attacking a paparazzi photographer's car with an umbrella. She describes how she 'snapped' as he would not leave her along during 'one of the worst moments of my whole life'.
She goes on to say that afterwards, she was embarrassed - and even sent the agency an apology note 'mentioning that I'd been in the running for a dark film role, which was true, and that I wasn't quite myself, which was also true'.
Conservatorship and Hospitalisation
A lot of the book tackles the subject of Spears's conservatorship, which controlled her life for 13 years. Writing about the start of the legal arrangement, the star says she 'begged the court to appoint literally anyone else - and I mean anyone off the street would have been better - my father was given the job'.
She says the court was told 'that I was demented, and I wasn't even allowed to pick my own lawyer'. She had been admitted to hospital 'against my will', she says, and soon after she was informed that the conservatorship had been filed.
After this, she describes how sometimes she would be 'smuggled a private phone', but says she was 'always caught'. And 'the sad, honest truth' was that 'after everything I had been through, I didn't have a lot of fight left in me'. Spears says she 'didn't see a way out' and 'felt my spirit retreat, and I went on autopilot'. She says she 'went along with it' for her children.
'It's difficult for me to revisit this darkest chapter of my life and to think about what might have been different if I'd pushed back harder then,' she says. 'I don't at all like to think about that, not whatsoever. I can't afford to, honestly. I've been through too much.'
As she detailed in court in 2021, Spears describes being given daily medication and having her every move watched.
'If I was so sick that I couldn't make my own decisions, why did they think it was fine for me to be out there smiling and waving and singing and dancing in a million time zones a week?' she writes. 'I'll tell you one good reason. The Circus Tour grossed more than $130m.'
She says she exchanged her freedom for time with her children. 'It was a trade I was willing to make.'
Security would run background checks and do blood tests on any men she wanted to date, she says.
Spears says she 'became a robot. But not just a robot - a sort of child-robot. I had been so infantilised that I was losing pieces of what made me feel like myself... The conservatorship stripped me of my womanhood, made me into a child.'
On stage, she says she held back in an attempt to rebel. 'I did the moves and I sang the notes, but I didn't put the fire behind it that I had in the past. Toning down my energy onstage was my own version of a factory slowdown.'
At the end of her Las Vegas residency, Spears claims she was again hospitalised against her will, and that she was put on lithium. 'I felt my concept of time morph, and I grew disoriented,' she says, adding that she felt like she was in 'solitary confinement'. She says she came close to suicide during this period.
Once she was home, she says she reported her father for alleged 'conservatorship abuse' in June 2021. On getting to tell her story in court, she says she felt like she'd 'finally been listened to' after 13 years. Speaking about the decision to end the legal arrangement, which came in November 2021, she says: 'And now, finally, it was my own life.'
Sam Asghari
Spears says Asghari helped her believe she could do anything and that they wanted to have a baby - but as she said during her conservatorship court hearings, she had been fitted with an IUD - she alleges her father would not allow her to have it removed.
After the end of the conservatorship, she did become pregnant but miscarried. 'I was devastated to have lost the baby. Once again, though, I used music to help me gain insight and perspective.
'Every song I sing or dance to lets me tell a different story and gives me a new way to escape. Listening to music on my phone helps me cope with the anger and sadness I face as an adult.'
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2008
- Messages
- 28,570
- Reaction score
- 36,881
https://news.sky.com/story/britney-...in-timberlake-to-the-conservatorship-12991137
Early Life
Spears describes an often difficult home life growing up in Kentwood, Louisiana, saying her mother Lynne and father Jamie 'argued constantly'. She talks about his struggles with alcohol, which were also described during later conservatorship hearings. 'I was usually scared in my home,' she says, and 'nothing was ever good enough' for him.
Drinking, Smoking and Driving
Aged nine, after failing to get into the Mickey Mouse Club on her first audition because she was too young, she says she went back to Louisiana and worked in a seafood restaurant, 'cleaning shellfish and serving plates of food while doing my prissy dancing in my cute little outfits'. By the age of 13, the star says she was drinking and smoking, and that she started driving at that age, too.
Justin Timberlake
After getting into the Mickey Mouse Club on her second attempt - a 'boot camp for the entertainment industry' - Spears got to know fellow future stars including Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake.
She had her first kiss with him during a game of Truth Or Dare and that they later started dating as their careers launched, hers as a solo star and his with NSYNC. She says she was 'so in love with him it was pathetic'.
Details of Spears having an abortion during their relationship were revealed prior to the book's release, with Spears saying of the pregnancy: 'For me, it wasn't a tragedy. But Justin definitely wasn't happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.'
The star admits cheating on Timberlake once but claims this came as she knew he had cheated on her several times. ... Justin and I had been living together, and I'd been having sex since I was 14.
Religion and Prescription Drugs
The star says she turned to religion - and prescription drugs. 'Trying to find ways to protect my heart from criticism and to keep the focus on what was important, I started reading religious books... I also started taking Prozac.'
Madonna and Kabbalah
The star says that she started to suffer from increasing anxiety as her fame grew and 'it became clear to me that whatever I did - and even plenty I didn't do - became front-page news'. During a difficult period, she says Madonna visited her and 'probably had some intuitive sense of what I was going through'.
Madonna 'did a red-string ceremony with me to initiate me into Kabbalah', Spears says, and she went on to have a Hebrew word tattooed at the base of her neck.
Mental Health
But the singer says she suffered depression after Jayden was born. 'I got a little depressed once I was no longer keeping them safe inside my body. They seemed so vulnerable out in the world of jockeying paparazzi and tabloids.
'I began to suspect that I was a bit overprotective when I wouldn't let my mom hold Jayden for the first two months... Honestly, as a new mother, it was as if some part of me became the baby.'
Spears says she hopes her story might help others suffering. 'I hope any new mothers reading this who are having a hard time will get help early... I now know that I was displaying just about every symptom of perinatal depression: sadness, anxiety, fatigue.'
Meltdown
Spears says she did not go out often but any occasion she did would make headlines. She says her drinking was never out of control but that her 'drug of choice' was Adderall, which is used to treat ADHD. 'It gave me a few hours of feeling less depressed,' she says, and goes on to say she 'never had any interest in hard drugs'.
Amid a custody battle and following the death of her aunt from cancer at the beginning of 2007, Spears infamously shaved her head and the photos created headlines around the world. In her memoir, she says this came after a period in which she had not been able to see her sons 'for weeks' and that paparazzi followed her as she 'begged' to see them. Shaving her head, she says, 'gave them some material'.
'Everyone thought it was hilarious. Look how crazy she is! Even my parents acted embarrassed by me. But nobody seemed to understand that I was simply out of my mind with grief. My children had been taken away from me.'
Spears says that 'everyone was scared' of her with her new look, but it was her way of 'saying to the world: f*** you'. She was 'tired' of being 'the good girl'.
A few days later, Spears was pictured attacking a paparazzi photographer's car with an umbrella. She describes how she 'snapped' as he would not leave her along during 'one of the worst moments of my whole life'.
She goes on to say that afterwards, she was embarrassed - and even sent the agency an apology note 'mentioning that I'd been in the running for a dark film role, which was true, and that I wasn't quite myself, which was also true'.
Conservatorship and Hospitalisation
A lot of the book tackles the subject of Spears's conservatorship, which controlled her life for 13 years. Writing about the start of the legal arrangement, the star says she 'begged the court to appoint literally anyone else - and I mean anyone off the street would have been better - my father was given the job'.
She says the court was told 'that I was demented, and I wasn't even allowed to pick my own lawyer'. She had been admitted to hospital 'against my will', she says, and soon after she was informed that the conservatorship had been filed.
After this, she describes how sometimes she would be 'smuggled a private phone', but says she was 'always caught'. And 'the sad, honest truth' was that 'after everything I had been through, I didn't have a lot of fight left in me'. Spears says she 'didn't see a way out' and 'felt my spirit retreat, and I went on autopilot'. She says she 'went along with it' for her children.
'It's difficult for me to revisit this darkest chapter of my life and to think about what might have been different if I'd pushed back harder then,' she says. 'I don't at all like to think about that, not whatsoever. I can't afford to, honestly. I've been through too much.'
As she detailed in court in 2021, Spears describes being given daily medication and having her every move watched.
'If I was so sick that I couldn't make my own decisions, why did they think it was fine for me to be out there smiling and waving and singing and dancing in a million time zones a week?' she writes. 'I'll tell you one good reason. The Circus Tour grossed more than $130m.'
She says she exchanged her freedom for time with her children. 'It was a trade I was willing to make.'
Security would run background checks and do blood tests on any men she wanted to date, she says.
Spears says she 'became a robot. But not just a robot - a sort of child-robot. I had been so infantilised that I was losing pieces of what made me feel like myself... The conservatorship stripped me of my womanhood, made me into a child.'
On stage, she says she held back in an attempt to rebel. 'I did the moves and I sang the notes, but I didn't put the fire behind it that I had in the past. Toning down my energy onstage was my own version of a factory slowdown.'
At the end of her Las Vegas residency, Spears claims she was again hospitalised against her will, and that she was put on lithium. 'I felt my concept of time morph, and I grew disoriented,' she says, adding that she felt like she was in 'solitary confinement'. She says she came close to suicide during this period.
Once she was home, she says she reported her father for alleged 'conservatorship abuse' in June 2021. On getting to tell her story in court, she says she felt like she'd 'finally been listened to' after 13 years. Speaking about the decision to end the legal arrangement, which came in November 2021, she says: 'And now, finally, it was my own life.'
Sam Asghari
Spears says Asghari helped her believe she could do anything and that they wanted to have a baby - but as she said during her conservatorship court hearings, she had been fitted with an IUD - she alleges her father would not allow her to have it removed.
After the end of the conservatorship, she did become pregnant but miscarried. 'I was devastated to have lost the baby. Once again, though, I used music to help me gain insight and perspective.
'Every song I sing or dance to lets me tell a different story and gives me a new way to escape. Listening to music on my phone helps me cope with the anger and sadness I face as an adult.'
What a crock of shit.
She acts like she's justified in snapping because they took her kids away. No mention of the shit she did to have them taken away in the first place.
Judges don't take a woman's kids away very easily. And they don't grant conservatorships easily either.
To have both happen to her means she was not fit to handle her responsibilities, first as a mother then as a rational human being.
Book just sounds like a way to shed responsibility. Her poor kids are going to read that someday.
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2007
- Messages
- 11,534
- Reaction score
- 5,950
https://news.sky.com/story/britney-...in-timberlake-to-the-conservatorship-12991137
Early Life
Spears describes an often difficult home life growing up in Kentwood, Louisiana, saying her mother Lynne and father Jamie 'argued constantly'. She talks about his struggles with alcohol, which were also described during later conservatorship hearings. 'I was usually scared in my home,' she says, and 'nothing was ever good enough' for him.
Drinking, Smoking and Driving
Aged nine, after failing to get into the Mickey Mouse Club on her first audition because she was too young, she says she went back to Louisiana and worked in a seafood restaurant, 'cleaning shellfish and serving plates of food while doing my prissy dancing in my cute little outfits'. By the age of 13, the star says she was drinking and smoking, and that she started driving at that age, too.
Justin Timberlake
After getting into the Mickey Mouse Club on her second attempt - a 'boot camp for the entertainment industry' - Spears got to know fellow future stars including Christina Aguilera, Ryan Gosling and Justin Timberlake.
She had her first kiss with him during a game of Truth Or Dare and that they later started dating as their careers launched, hers as a solo star and his with NSYNC. She says she was 'so in love with him it was pathetic'.
Details of Spears having an abortion during their relationship were revealed prior to the book's release, with Spears saying of the pregnancy: 'For me, it wasn't a tragedy. But Justin definitely wasn't happy about the pregnancy. He said we weren't ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young.'
The star admits cheating on Timberlake once but claims this came as she knew he had cheated on her several times. ... Justin and I had been living together, and I'd been having sex since I was 14.
Religion and Prescription Drugs
The star says she turned to religion - and prescription drugs. 'Trying to find ways to protect my heart from criticism and to keep the focus on what was important, I started reading religious books... I also started taking Prozac.'
Madonna and Kabbalah
The star says that she started to suffer from increasing anxiety as her fame grew and 'it became clear to me that whatever I did - and even plenty I didn't do - became front-page news'. During a difficult period, she says Madonna visited her and 'probably had some intuitive sense of what I was going through'.
Madonna 'did a red-string ceremony with me to initiate me into Kabbalah', Spears says, and she went on to have a Hebrew word tattooed at the base of her neck.
Mental Health
But the singer says she suffered depression after Jayden was born. 'I got a little depressed once I was no longer keeping them safe inside my body. They seemed so vulnerable out in the world of jockeying paparazzi and tabloids.
'I began to suspect that I was a bit overprotective when I wouldn't let my mom hold Jayden for the first two months... Honestly, as a new mother, it was as if some part of me became the baby.'
Spears says she hopes her story might help others suffering. 'I hope any new mothers reading this who are having a hard time will get help early... I now know that I was displaying just about every symptom of perinatal depression: sadness, anxiety, fatigue.'
Meltdown
Spears says she did not go out often but any occasion she did would make headlines. She says her drinking was never out of control but that her 'drug of choice' was Adderall, which is used to treat ADHD. 'It gave me a few hours of feeling less depressed,' she says, and goes on to say she 'never had any interest in hard drugs'.
Amid a custody battle and following the death of her aunt from cancer at the beginning of 2007, Spears infamously shaved her head and the photos created headlines around the world. In her memoir, she says this came after a period in which she had not been able to see her sons 'for weeks' and that paparazzi followed her as she 'begged' to see them. Shaving her head, she says, 'gave them some material'.
'Everyone thought it was hilarious. Look how crazy she is! Even my parents acted embarrassed by me. But nobody seemed to understand that I was simply out of my mind with grief. My children had been taken away from me.'
Spears says that 'everyone was scared' of her with her new look, but it was her way of 'saying to the world: f*** you'. She was 'tired' of being 'the good girl'.
A few days later, Spears was pictured attacking a paparazzi photographer's car with an umbrella. She describes how she 'snapped' as he would not leave her along during 'one of the worst moments of my whole life'.
She goes on to say that afterwards, she was embarrassed - and even sent the agency an apology note 'mentioning that I'd been in the running for a dark film role, which was true, and that I wasn't quite myself, which was also true'.
Conservatorship and Hospitalisation
A lot of the book tackles the subject of Spears's conservatorship, which controlled her life for 13 years. Writing about the start of the legal arrangement, the star says she 'begged the court to appoint literally anyone else - and I mean anyone off the street would have been better - my father was given the job'.
She says the court was told 'that I was demented, and I wasn't even allowed to pick my own lawyer'. She had been admitted to hospital 'against my will', she says, and soon after she was informed that the conservatorship had been filed.
After this, she describes how sometimes she would be 'smuggled a private phone', but says she was 'always caught'. And 'the sad, honest truth' was that 'after everything I had been through, I didn't have a lot of fight left in me'. Spears says she 'didn't see a way out' and 'felt my spirit retreat, and I went on autopilot'. She says she 'went along with it' for her children.
'It's difficult for me to revisit this darkest chapter of my life and to think about what might have been different if I'd pushed back harder then,' she says. 'I don't at all like to think about that, not whatsoever. I can't afford to, honestly. I've been through too much.'
As she detailed in court in 2021, Spears describes being given daily medication and having her every move watched.
'If I was so sick that I couldn't make my own decisions, why did they think it was fine for me to be out there smiling and waving and singing and dancing in a million time zones a week?' she writes. 'I'll tell you one good reason. The Circus Tour grossed more than $130m.'
She says she exchanged her freedom for time with her children. 'It was a trade I was willing to make.'
Security would run background checks and do blood tests on any men she wanted to date, she says.
Spears says she 'became a robot. But not just a robot - a sort of child-robot. I had been so infantilised that I was losing pieces of what made me feel like myself... The conservatorship stripped me of my womanhood, made me into a child.'
On stage, she says she held back in an attempt to rebel. 'I did the moves and I sang the notes, but I didn't put the fire behind it that I had in the past. Toning down my energy onstage was my own version of a factory slowdown.'
At the end of her Las Vegas residency, Spears claims she was again hospitalised against her will, and that she was put on lithium. 'I felt my concept of time morph, and I grew disoriented,' she says, adding that she felt like she was in 'solitary confinement'. She says she came close to suicide during this period.
Once she was home, she says she reported her father for alleged 'conservatorship abuse' in June 2021. On getting to tell her story in court, she says she felt like she'd 'finally been listened to' after 13 years. Speaking about the decision to end the legal arrangement, which came in November 2021, she says: 'And now, finally, it was my own life.'
Sam Asghari
Spears says Asghari helped her believe she could do anything and that they wanted to have a baby - but as she said during her conservatorship court hearings, she had been fitted with an IUD - she alleges her father would not allow her to have it removed.
After the end of the conservatorship, she did become pregnant but miscarried. 'I was devastated to have lost the baby. Once again, though, I used music to help me gain insight and perspective.
'Every song I sing or dance to lets me tell a different story and gives me a new way to escape. Listening to music on my phone helps me cope with the anger and sadness I face as an adult.'
great post. full of info. thanks for sharing.
much to my surprise, I think I will read her book.
I remember the feeding frenzy over her back in the day. nobody is equipped to put up with that level of exposure and scrutiny. it is a shame that she did not have the support structure to help her through it.
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Might have to check that one out. I’m sure a member of Guns n Roses has all kinds of stories.
What we cookin?
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Thanks bruh, I appreciate that. For now I’ll just read the twitter headlines though. Seems the whole book is being released bit by bit just from people talking about it lol. Defeats the whole purpose of reading the book imo.
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I do think at times Britney tries to avoid taking accountability for her actions. But despite how it all came about, I can understand her attacking the paparazzi. Honestly, losing custody of her children or not, I’d still understand (as much as I can looking from the outside) attacking them. It was rough during those days for sure.
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Oh yeah I have no love for those paparazzi scumbags. I support any celebrity that inflicts violence upon them.
I just don't like it when people throw out bullshit excuses and try to make it seem like they played no part in their actions.
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It wasn't even that bad, honestly. Shaved her head, broke some windows...meh. Quite a few rungs lower than going "Full Bjork". Now there's a bitch you don't want to fuck with, if she's looking irritated.
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Not a fan of her music but she seems like a nice person who has been taken advantage of. All these stories are giving me Amy Winehouse vibes. Really hope she will be OK and get help by people that truly care and not just after her money.
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I liked the Dirt (motley crue) the Netflix movie wasn't nearly as good at illustrating the debauchery.
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She never did it for me. I always felt like her head was too big for her body and that her legs are a bit to short for her torso.
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Ya know, I have a theory
When she shaved her head, it wasn't because she was crazy, it was because she had. Adair follicle drug test coming up as there was custody whatnot coming up.
When she shaved her head, it wasn't because she was crazy, it was because she had. Adair follicle drug test coming up as there was custody whatnot coming up.
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Agreed. I believe people should be allowed to kick the living shit out of any paparazzi who follows you around and shoves a camera in your face or any paparazzi who hides in bushes trying to sneak a few pics.
Can you imagine being one of those paparazzi? What kind of self loathing ass do you have to be to be proud of that job?
