Got Into A Fight At The Mall Today

[Doubled]

I told my son to skip school today so we could go to the mall and then get some burgers at Hooters. So we were in Sears trying on overalls, but nothing would fit. This salesman was asking everbody but us if they needed help. My son and I needed help because we couldn't find any overalls wide enough to fit his side muscles. Finally I got the sales guy's attention and asked him, "How about you help my son find some overalls? We have been looking here for a long time and can't find anything." He comes off with this know it all response, "Hehehe. How old is your son? He is a little tall for a toddler. I don't think we have his size in this section of the store. Hehehehe." A simple ""You are in the wrong section, sir" would have been fine. But no, he had to be a wise guy, implying we are dumb rednecks.

So I said, "look here you dirty dog shiit, what is the problem?" He said, "Hehehe, no problems." I was very angry at him for laughing at my son, so I slapped his face so hard that his toupee flew into one of the dressing rooms. Some naked lady came running out, crying about a rat in the dressing rooms. I was laughing like crazy, and the lady gave me a stiffie. But salesboy didn't find this amusing. As I looked at the naked lady, he picked up that long stick that they use to reach clothes on tall racks and swung at at my head. It knocked me to the floor, but I was just stunned and angry, not hurt. I got back up so infuriated, I touched him with a jab and then threw the deadly overhand right hand correctly. He went stumbling backwards out of the store and fell into the wishing well in the middle of the mall.

Someone got so scared that they pulled the fire alarm. My son, being as quick, strong, and agile as he is, he ran to the elevator, but it wouldn't come. He took off his shirt and jumped down two floors to the parking lot and ran away. The reason he was unscathed was that he used his shirt like a parachute, so he didn't hit the ground that hard.

I was a little too muscular to try that stunt. With all my muscle mass pulling me down, I'm sure I would have been hurt. My only choice was to hide in the middle of a circular clothing rack. I was in one for about thirty minutes. When I was in the rack, I peeked out and saw police looking for me. They had no idea I was there, so I thought about the naked lady and got a boner again. Everything was cool until they began checking the racks. So I quickly sneaked out of the rack and posed as a manikin. Luckily nobody caught on. At one point the K9 officer barked at me, but nobody else noticed I was a person. When the cops left, I ran out of the mall and got a burger at hooters. There I got my third boner of the day and a hearty meal.

[Odio]

Im sorry, I just saw overalls and can't stop laughing.

[mantecabros]

weak

[JihadMeAtHello]

"he used his shirt as a parachute"

[BEER-RUN]

Originally Posted by Odio

Im sorry, I just saw overalls and can't stop laughing.

I lost it there too.....

[Sonny]

I actually like this thread, it's awesome.

[heathenos]

...I touched him with a jab...

lmao. this guy's jab is badass.

[JihadMeAtHello]

this guy should write steven segal movies.

[Sonny]

Originally Posted by Doubled

I told my son to skip school today so we could go to the mall and then get some burgers at Hooters. So we were in Sears trying on overalls, but nothing would fit. This salesman was asking everbody but us if they needed help. My son and I needed help because we couldn't find any overalls wide enough to fit his side muscles. Finally I got the sales guy's attention and asked him, "How about you help my son find some overalls? We have been looking here for a long time and can't find anything." He comes off with this know it all response, "Hehehe. How old is your son? He is a little tall for a toddler. I don't think we have his size in this section of the store. Hehehehe." A simple ""You are in the wrong section, sir" would have been fine. But no, he had to be a wise guy, implying we are dumb rednecks.

So I said, "look here you dirty dog shiit, what is the problem?" He said, "Hehehe, no problems." I was very angry at him for laughing at my son, so I slapped his face so hard that his toupee flew into one of the dressing rooms. Some naked lady came running out, crying about a rat in the dressing rooms. I was laughing like crazy, and the lady gave me a stiffie. But salesboy didn't find this amusing. As I looked at the naked lady, he picked up that long stick that they use to reach clothes on tall racks and swung at at my head. It knocked me to the floor, but I was just stunned and angry, not hurt. I got back up so infuriated, I touched him with a jab and then threw the deadly overhand right hand correctly. He went stumbling backwards out of the store and fell into the wishing well in the middle of the mall.

Someone got so scared that they pulled the fire alarm. My son, being as quick, strong, and agile as he is, he ran to the elevator, but it wouldn't come. He took off his shirt and jumped down two floors to the parking lot and ran away. The reason he was unscathed was that he used his shirt like a parachute, so he didn't hit the ground that hard.

I was a little too muscular to try that stunt. With all my muscle mass pulling me down, I'm sure I would have been hurt. My only choice was to hide in the middle of a circular clothing rack. I was in one for about thirty minutes. When I was in the rack, I peeked out and saw police looking for me. They had no idea I was there, so I thought about the naked lady and got a boner again. Everything was cool until they began checking the racks. So I quickly sneaked out of the rack and posed as a manikin. Luckily nobody caught on. At one point the K9 officer barked at me, but nobody else noticed I was a person. When the cops left, I ran out of the mall and got a burger at hooters. There I got my third boner of the day and a hearty meal.

BTW, which one of your two accounts do you want to keep?

[JihadMeAtHello]

Originally Posted by Sonny

BTW, which one of your two accounts do you want to keep?

i'll keep this one