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Your thoughts on the new American Gladiators?
I caught an episode of this I believe yesterday and I must say that it's really like a pansy version of the old one. NONE of the gladiators - men or women - are roided out in this one. And no fights break out either, like they did in the old one, because again everyone is so queer in this new one and there's no chance of roid rage going down. The contestants are also too weak to fight back in this one, anyway.
The contestants as alluded to earlier are about as pitiful as the audience members and while being interviewed they bounce up and down, wide-eyed, smiling and practically drooling on themselves for whatever reason. They're also all trannies who weigh at least 100 lbs less than any of the gladiators.
EVENT: HANG TOUGH
"Strategy, strength and speed all come into play as the contenders swing ring-to-ring 20 feet above water trying to avoid the pursuing Gladiator. The event ends one of two ways: the contender gets to the other side, or the contender is tugged and dragged off the rings by a Gladiator, resulting in a gigantic splash into the water below."
LOL, anyway. In this event they had the black dude gladiator, who's pushing probably like 230 via tons of flab up against this hermaphrodite tranny guy who weighs about 98 lbs covered in elephant shit. The gladiator wastes no time showing his explosiveness and athleticism by not moving at all and hanging there gassed out like a sloth on heroin within 5 seconds of the start of the event, staring at the helpless tranny and licking his lips as he regains composure at the thought of, well you know....
The gladiator gets within spinning piledriver range of this sad weakling and what does he do? Instead of lunging at the little bitch and flying down through the water in a cyclone of fury to destroy this tranny's skull on the bottom of the pool he reaches out and pulls on his wrist... again... and again... and again, until the tranny gets scared and just lets go like good old fashioned quitter.
EVENT: GAUNTLET
"In this challenge, the contender's raw strength and power will be put to the test as he or she must run through a gauntlet of Gladiators who are trying to knock him/her down or force him/her up and over the perimeter wall. The contender will face four Gladiators. The Gauntlet course is 90-feet long, which ends with a 10-foot sprint under the bridge and crashing through a foam wall."
Gauntlet AKA "Wall of Trannies" was up next. The contestant this time around might have been a woman... MIGHT, but I doubt it because even with the long hair, it was just too repulsive, so verdict: tranny.
This cracked out troll is released from its cage and goes to the starting point. At this time you get a good shot of the situation: it's padded, EVERYTHING IS PADDED: the walls, the floor, the ceiling and even the gladiators themselves, who are armed with giant foam silver penises and matching mini-skirts -> TRUTH! (BTW I saw some pen0r dangling... just sayin'... ).
The timer began and the wee contestant starts her mad dash down the heavily padded, heavily pen0red corridor of overly pubed individuals. She's almost immediately met with a salvo of Styrofoam phalluses, and, as expected, massive phail ensues as she whimpers and crumbles into the fetal position, overtaken by her heavyweight tranny opposition.
Nevertheless, the power of cocaine shines bright on America once again as the contestant is able to rise to her feet whilst still being bombarded by very large, very light and fluffy foam rubber objects. She was able to escape this conundrum, but there was another problem: At the end of the Gauntlet stood a very fat, very angry ex-lunch lady with her very own penis war staff that extended from wall to wall! Our contestant attempted to run and slide beneath it, but instead she took it right on the chin and got KTFO (LMAO GJ HEAD GEAR)!
Post-gauntlet slow-motion high-definition split-screen dual-action replay analysis revealed countless pen0rs flopping about, as well as "corn teeth" and flea-ridden hairy jungles.
Our brave contestant was interviewed after the the crushing defeat, and when asked why she bothered to compete in American Gladiators in the first place, she replied, "Because this thread is officially TL/DR".
Would like to read your thoughts regarding the new American Gladiators, and I'll be back with further analysis of the events from the latest installment, as well as an interview with Wolf!
Last edited by rail_gun_01 : 05-14-2008 at 03:01 AM.
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