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09-27-2007, 05:41 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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MMA Rockstar
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Your Lyoto Sonnet Runner-Up, Conan the Burberryan, Whose Piece Got Mangled On Air, Which I Apologize For
My heart stay true, I know I'm not homo
But the one that captivates has a tool
The undefeated man known as Lyoto
Has me falling in love like a damn fool
His crisp counterstriking is such a sight
He's so evasive it's like a facade
Half-Japanese Half-Brazilian delight
I say Arigato and Obrigad
You beat Bonnar and Penn, you knocked out Ace
But these insolent knaves say that you bore
To ignore your beauty is a disgrace
I do cherish you, make me your man-whore
Lyoto Machida, I want to jack off
He's mine, so you bitches better back off
Your Lyoto Sonnet Winner and MMA Poet Laureate, Paul from Chicago
An ode to the unsung counterstriker
Cry doubters "He's too small for 205"
With the gas tank of an EPO'd cycler
The speed and wits 'til decision survive
I write of conquests, let me tell ya lad
He once left Bonnar's visage sanguine red
And Nakamura who umbrella had
But Lyoto Batman knocked Penguin dead
BJ was found to be out-boxed, out-gassed
A vicious knee collapsed Rich Franklin's face
Obscurity shall be left in the past
These few wins make a Sherdog rankings case
Forum faux pas, we no longer need ya:
Starting threads that ask "Who is Machida?"
The Rest That Followed Format
Substance and style are the two things that
When joined with both skill and training create
A man of incomparable strength. What
Then be the measure by which we he rate?
Should one be judged for his ability
To stop his foe? Or should it be the fight?
If a war'ior wins with agility
Should that not be his choosing and his right?
Let not the boredom of decisions be,
Your only impression. For it's the fight
But not the finish where we truly see
The mettle and power of a man's might.
So while some say he's a bitch like She-ra,
Not I, I love Lyoto Machida.
O Ryoto Lyoto Machida
People say his style is temptation
O but the U-F-C really needs ya.
The light heavy is a big sensation.
Wins over Franklin and Bonnar and more
Including "The Prodigy" B.J. Penn
And his style is far from just a bore
His opponents are like pigs in a pen.
Helping save PRIDE since it seems like a joke.
Since most of their fighters seem to dope up.
Unlike Liddell no wins by the eye poke.
With eleven fights Machida's no pup.
After his last win he should get a rank.
He will hold the belt; take it to the bank.
From his first win against Wantabe
Lyoto showed us what he had in store
Fans jeered but that's the way its gonna be
He knocked Out Franklin and we wanted more
Lyoto then tried out a guillotine
A round one victory left us no doubt
A crowd pleaser he burst upon the scene
Melting them like icecream he had the clout
Met Greco and BJ Penn in K-1
Lyoto was sseen on sherdog.net
Back to decisions because they're more fun
Nutthuggers proclaimed he is a sure bet
All the judges love Mr. Machida
He passed the test not smoking the weeda
While the love that I have for Lyoto,
Is the same love I have for mollasses.
Counterstrikes for eventual deathblows,
Switch for sugar in baked goods kicks asses.
There are those who would chastize and mock him,
Though his patience is the biggest virtue.
And Joe Rogan would ask him to weight-trim,
Trim instead Nakamura's new hair-do.
Although Machida, I must implore you,
Exciting fights bring fans and good fortune.
Spinning backfists will make them adore you,
And to those that dispute, here's my caution:
His next fights will possess as much boredom,
As Jardine's future son's will have handsome.
Lyoto Machida: so fucking sweet
Today about him is that which I talk
From now on he's gonna turn up the heat
If you fight him you'll be outlined with chalk
Deaf folk hearing him, blind folk seeing him
He's just like the word kill, minus the K
His opponents? I'm feeling bad for them
He brings it real: Shotokan Karate
Try to strike him and eat a nasty kick
Just like the word basic, minus B-A
To him you're just a dog, and he's Mike Vick
Think he's ridin' dirty? There ain't no way.
I'm no psychic but his future is clear;
World champion by the end of next year
Born in the heart of Salvador, Brazil
to be the son of a karate master
he was carefully imparted with skills
that for foes would mean certain disaster
dangerous yet beautiful on the feet
with shotokan and now the art of jits
for the purists he delivers a treat
yet will cause his opponents to have fits
it took Inoki to notice the talent
that led to the besting of BJ Penn
and make Silva's Franklin beating look scant
the belt will be his, it's not if, but when
whilst some find him to be painful like cramp
please rise for the next light heavyweight champ
Machida you spin fast for point display,
Balance most cautious, L- stance resolute.
Breen and Josh Gross folly the other day,
In choosing thee against Houston the brute
Using angles countering with fast strikes,
Ryoto stays cat-like super nimble.
Run- beware the disc jock off of his mike!!!!
Uppercut connects, consciousness dwindles.
Laying on the mat, the lights fizz back on,
The Karate Kid feels a numbing head.
Trying to stand, legs wobbly like a fawn,
Perhaps tomorrow he aught stay in bed..
Analogy echoes, time allows this pass,
In their prime, Iron Mike stomps Ali’s ass!
So what, C peo-ples has to do his job
What is his purpose, if not to judge fights?
my own opinion is hes a dumb slob
i'm sad he might judge as well with out lights.
counterpunch and weave with amazing grace.
opponents chase him to little avail,
he will steal your win and your parking space,
you'll look retarded and slow as a snail.
why do they complain, but nut hug the heat?
always says he'll win, in a fancy way
but he's only finished one in u f c
and saying the word fancy well, is gay.
wins are wins even without broken bones.
just bleed guy will have to swallow his jones.
In and out the warrior strikes like a cat
Taking his time to scratch and bite his prey
He truly is a legend in combat
For he wins his fights without lay and pray
Machida is rising high like a big star
He has beaten greats like Franklin and Penn
These wins put him in the passenger’s car
With all these wins we will see him again
I hope everyone will not be cheated
Because he’s not a wild maniac
He is a winner and undefeated
He is not a megalomaniac
No more just bleed guy in today’s fighting
Just keep on winning and it’s exciting
His Karate yield and elusive style.
He beats down Rich Franklin at Bom-Ba-Ye,
punching and kicking with Brazilian guile.
Lyoto, a warrior god be thee.
At K-1 Hero's, B.J.'s weight did swell.
Lyoto controls the rounds with his grace.
As judged by the three, the Hawaiian fell.
All who face Machida's will, meet disgrace.
Nakamura is here, promising pain.
But Japan's 'pride' meets aggressive defeat.
Umbrellas will not stop Machida's reign.
Lyoto will sweep Judo off its feet.
What awaits this great legend before us?
All his decisions made unanimous.
Machida, Machida -- pinpoint striker
Delivers his kicks with such precision
It's such a shame that the fans don't like ya
Because all your fights end in decision.
"Finish, don't go the distance," critics said.
"No one's paying big bucks for three-rounders
In a weight class where one shot to the head
Puts you atop the 205-pounders."
Alexander's flex after a knockout
Howls and scowls from Rampage make him a star.
Other ranked fighters get trounced, then drop out
While you, undefeated, stay where you are.
So, WAR Machida, ain't mad at your style.
Sign fights, win fights, get the money, then smile.
His Karate yield and elusive style.
He beats down Rich Franklin at Bom-Ba-Ye,
punching and kicking with Brazilian guile.
Lyoto, a warrior god be thee.
At K-1 Hero's, B.J.'s weight did swell.
Lyoto controls the rounds with his grace.
As judged by the three, the Hawaiian fell.
All who face Machida's will, meet disgrace.
Nakamura is here, promising pain.
But Japan's 'pride' meets aggressive defreat.
Umbrellas will not stop Machida's reign.
Lyoto will sweep Judo off its feet.
What awaits this great legend before us?
All his decisions made unanimous.
Mr. Machida is like no other,
Even Nakamura could not stop him;
He had Hoger crying for his mother,
And sent Heath crawling back into the gym.
Counter striking is part of his mad skills.
Kicks, knees, elbows is what he is about.
Franklin fought Lyoto to pay the bills,
And ended up getting KTF-OUT!
My man-love for Machida is not known,
So I am entering a lame contest.
I already have a Lyoto gnome,
So a cool Pride DVD would be best.
Lyoto Machida is a machine.
Excuse me while I get the Vaseline.
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09-27-2007, 05:41 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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MMA Rockstar
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Risen from Belem, a fierce fighter stands
Born with both the body and brain to win
Blessed with the blood of Brazil and Japan
Glory be to the great Inoki’s chin.
His limbs gave red shades to Stephan’s fair skin
He reached Rich Franklins frankly feeble beard
BJ was beaten as he fled from thin
Here stands a man that’s ferocious and feared.
American cage, Ultimate challenge
Heath, Hoger, and Nakamura did fall
Shrewd striking counters, declining damage
Forcing Judges Hands to unveil their call.
8- sided walls, familiar decorum
With pillows for fans who dwell in forums.
Most wins by unanimous decision
Lyoto Michida Eleven and "O"
He's still not top ten in the division
Incredibly boring fights he has to go
Or give him a title shot with Rampage
Hope the champion will beat his head in
For five rounds he will run in the cage
With the Ultimate's luck he might win
Black House Shotokan karate master
With a legit brown belt in Jiu-Jitsu
Will not make his fights get stopped any faster
at least it gives time to go to the loo
With another decision victory
I hope that Dana will make his butt history.
I love this one mixed martial artist, a
Karate Fighter from Belem, Brazil.
An eleven and zero record, duh,
which means you can hardly call me a shill.
He listens to the first name of Ryoto
and his family name is Machida.
Although calling him the nick name "Lyoto",
won't likely invoke him to submit ya'.
His last stoppage, Dimitri Wanderley,
was a TKO at Jungle Fight 6.
It was April 29, Saturday,
oh and that was the year 2006!
Some say he's boring, though I say he's not.
He clearly deserves the number one spot!
To pass the guard and finish with a sub
Could Be Compared to one thing
To Bash him hard end it and get the Dub
Oh, your status would be shared with nothing
How and Why is he so untouchable
That there's no one who can seem to catch-up
He eats up fighters just like Lunchables
Knocked out Franklin, heard he couldn't get up
Some say he's boring, he wins decisions
Please get more knockouts add that component
I want to see a few more submissions
HE HAS NO LOSSES, to top opponents!!!
Lyoto Machida, F the haters
Lyoto Machida, None greater
Ryoto likes his fancy Karate
Don’t worry ‘bout knockouts when I’m fighting
The fans all boo while full of Tecate
My fancy strikes are fast and so biting
I back away but don’t mistake my style
I’d like to finish but I can’t seem to
If my kick lands my foe is in a pile
But fans may still commence to fling their poo
I beat Vernon and Franklin and BJ
But fans refuse to let me have my due
I get as much respect as poor TJ
Maybe I’ll get my props before I’m through
I like to counter but please don’t hate me
I like to win Oh God why can’t you see
'Tis better to have class than please the mobs,
Keep this to heart in all the things you do,
Inspire the cultured eyes not drunken slobs,
Aloof from the vile tide of fart and boo.
Sophisticate love for sweet Machida,
Beyond the ken of low Tito liker,
Back foot beauty marks you as our leader,
Fools call any TUF boy world class striker.
Lyoto- go, go- make me feel alive,
Show punch variety and reflex skill,
Clean out fake pretenders at two - oh - five,
Plant the silky banner a-top the hill.
Fools and doubters: on you knees together,
To Lyoto: your lord, your Mayweather.
Training Karate since the age of three,
Sumo BJJ at twelve and fifteen,
Your knees would set the minds of many free,
Their proverbial clocks you would wipe clean,
Rich Franklin felt a knee to his forehead,
Bonnar was defeated by a big cut.
Lyoto makes people wish they were dead.
He makes their open doors seem like they’ve shut.
A countenance as calm as frigid ice,
Like puzzles he takes all of them apart,
He isn’t mean but certainly not nice.
His violent ballet is like cryptic art.
He is a blazing, burning, juggernaut.
His glowing aura will shine bright and hot.
Steer thy eyes to a gaze unwavering.
Thy mind, thy, body, thy soul coalesce.
Calm, is nervousness without quivering.
Adept in a fracas, I acquiesce.
Skill is but one mere facet to digest,
Patience is his rendition of a coup.
O time is served a la carte, so ingest.
Mind thy division, he shall stir the soup.
All greatness is for naught before its time.
The mystery will veil its contention.
A decision heard, even from a mime.
East, is the Sun, on this acquisition.
Love is sadly not always eye to eye.
Boos bleed unjust, the canvas will soon dye.
Machida the greatest counter striker
The best fighting strategy of anyone
Back up and blast any U-F-C fighter
He side kicks like Jean Claude Van Damme for fun
He messes up kids rhythm with pot shots
Beating Nakamura down for three rounds
Pronounced the winner when the punches stop
Lyoto beating ass standing or ground
I watch the pay per view, cant stop grinning
Pizza in hand and sipping on iced tea
Yell at the screen Lyoto is winning
Man I can't get up but I got to pee
A message for Lyoto I would say
For Machida I'd totally turn gay
O! Lyoto! If thou dost seek the light,
Know this! Thy fans dost not like lay and pray.
If thou would but only finish a fight,
And break the bonds of fans utter dismay.
For I have sworn thee worthy; thought thee noble,
Despite angry naysayers on web boards,
Slandering you sluggish and immobile,
Pay them no mind! Thy will have thine rewards.
Even so, with your ne'er-quickening pace,
O! Dear Lyoto! Thou shalt win again.
Thou will plod forward in the title chase,
Singing dreamy songs like the winter wren.
To this I witness and solemnly swear,
Lyoto! The gold one day you shall wear!
My eyes betrayed, for this I shant believe
He kicks and jabs without a blow endured
Thy fighter 'cross the ring cannot achieve
A victory, defeat to him assured
Machida's pinpoint strikes content my heart
Elusive dance is candy for my mind
A style so pretty surely must be art
Injustice fills me to see it maligned
Spectators swamp arenas loud with jeers
It's action they desire without delay
But while their evening is drowned out with beers
I'll watch and love a cultured fight display
The Second Inoki with all his grace
A man most others doth not want to face
Light feet as Jesus walking on water.
Head movement like Whitaker in his prime.
Fast hands that make fights a scorecard slaughter.
Though dumb crowds use his fights as potty time
Lyoto Machida, his given name.
His father, a karate mastermind.
Uneducated fans find his style lame,
I see beauty like Sonoma’s behind.
The grace with which he darts inside and out,
Taken from Hopkins against Trinidad,
Pundits put his market value in doubt.
It’s not his fault he makes guys look so bad.
Watch him clown fools like Gross does to T.J.
And realize he will be champ someday.
Your opponent comes in with an umbrella,
He knows you are like the rain,
A slow and steady fella,
Sure to give viewers pain.
Round one was a bore,
Round two showed your might,
Round three we saw more,
You “dominated” the fight,
Bruce Buffer sings your name,
Ryoto Machida we all hear,
Eleven and oh is your fame,
When next will you appear?
Your game is the simplest it could have been,
Ryoto Machida… you just go out there to win.
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09-27-2007, 05:42 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Managing Editor
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Mods, Please do not unstick this thread. __________________
"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the !@*% kicked out of you."
- Woody Hayes
MFridley on MySpace - http://www.myspace.com/cbus_mma
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09-28-2007, 04:11 AM
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#5 (permalink)
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 Purple Belt
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We really do need a sherdog radio forum.
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09-28-2007, 04:49 AM
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#6 (permalink)
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My Babycakes
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Eating Green Chile in my adobe |
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to whoever is in charge of this, please take off the censors in the Insider Chat if it's possible.
__________________
"He that would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression" -Thomas Paine
"It is the Duty of the Patriot to Protect his Country from it's Government." -Thomas Paine
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09-28-2007, 05:48 AM
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#7 (permalink)
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 Green Belt
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jordan breen for the win.
__________________
Proud driver of the Mike Bisping Bandwagon
Last edited by Rowan : 09-28-2007 at 07:49 AM.
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09-28-2007, 10:13 AM
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#8 (permalink)
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 Yellow Belt
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Man you're killing me with all these videos!
I think this coming Tuesday's intro should be Tay Zonday - Chocolate Rain
check it on youtube
__________________
Fish!
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09-28-2007, 10:34 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Yellow Belt
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This was the BEST contest of all Jordan. Way to turn these boys into flute playing puffy shirt wearing medieval minstrel's.
[IMG]  [/IMG]
This is my favorite line of all time....
"Half-Japanese Half-Brazilian delight
I say Arigato and Obrigad"
Runner up should have won __________________
You cannot defy
The Master of Fists
Bender of will
Defender of bliss
Enters the dragon
The Master of Fists
-High on Fire-
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09-28-2007, 10:34 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Yellow Belt
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This was the BEST contest of all Jordan. Way to turn these boys into flute playing puffy shirt wearing medieval minstrel's.
[IMG] [/IMG]
This is my favorite line of all time....
"Half-Japanese Half-Brazilian delight
I say Arigato and Obrigad"
Runner up should have won __________________
You cannot defy
The Master of Fists
Bender of will
Defender of bliss
Enters the dragon
The Master of Fists
-High on Fire-
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