I don't know if it has been said or not but is he/she carrying octuplets or what? and one other thing is you said you finally married her after four years or however long you said, than you said you were glad you waited to lose your virginity on your wedding night. furthermore you stated the reason you married her was because she was carrying your child? i can't really tell if she is pregnant or not from the wedding pictures...... either way your story has major flaws
i'm from germany and i saw them both here at a tatoo convention!!!! he was very angry when i started asking him about this thread... i dunno why... see yourself...
I don't feel like reading this whole thread to find out if this is real or a troll-job but my recommendation to you sir buy your new wife a gym membership for her birthday. And some PT lessons...lots of them.