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It depends on the woman really. Everything with a weapon is personal preference.
My wife carries a Glock 19. I agree that the 9mm is an easier round to control than the .40 and it suits her well. The Glock has a lighter trigger pull (@5.5lbs) which she loves and she has long enough fingers to get to the slide release and mag release without changing her grip.
I only own one Smith and Wesson handgun and really do not care for it much. I don't know if all their models are still the same, but I personally hate the magazine disconnect in the weapon design. Meaning, you cannot fire a round in the chamber unless there is a magazine in the well. This issue would come in to play for tactical reloads and mag swaps. Some law enforcement like that so they can simply drop the magazine out of the weapon if they are fighting for control of the weapon. I am not one of them.
I hear people recommend a hammerless revolver in .38 special all the time, but my main problem with them for my wife is that they usually have a heavy trigger pull in the range of 12 lbs. If you opt with a small featherweight, they can still difficult to control simply due to the size. That energy has to go somewhere. If you do opt with a lightweight revolver, make absolutely sure the gun is capable of handling +P ammo. Not all can handle the increased energy.
Regardless, I agree that she should still spend time at the range getting proper training to include more than aimed in, 10 seconds between shots type of shooting. The weapon does her no good if she cannot use it effectively.
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"Those who sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither. Benjamin Franklin"
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