[Boylehatesu]

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand. He was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating. I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

"I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain."

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was one big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

-and, my personal fav-

"I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."

[crowes feet]

Any quote coming out of his mouth is pure gold.

[nugger]

That's some impregnable stuff....

[Chunk Monster]

Who the hell was his vocabulary coach? Or did he develop such grandiosity on his own time?

[mylegbig]

Old, but I never get sick of the golden shit that flows from Tyson's mouth.

[Gorgoroth]

My all time favorite is the rapist and recluse quote.

[greatmuta]

Pigeon thing kind of made me laugh;

[Gorgoroth]

The usage of the word "snotbox" is hilarious too.

[BootyDaddy]

Originally Posted by Boylehatesu

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was one big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

I've never heard this one before. I'd have let Mike in the cage for $10,000.

Silverback KO1 >>> Tyson

[JBboy]

Originally Posted by BootyDaddy

I've never heard this one before. I'd have let Mike in the cage for $10,000.

Silverback KO1 >>> Tyson

I'd pay 50 dollars to watch that