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Jimmy's Basketball Tournament. (Special Ed)
I'm having to re-create this because the original got deleted, but I thought you guys would get a kick out of it. This was the first prank I pulled on my Retarded Brother-in-law. This and a few others is what eventually led to the Tard camp getting a restraining order against me and dictating that I stay 100 yards away from Jimmy.
Ole Jimmy is quite the basketball player for a Downs kid. Him and his buddies at his camp, actually medal in the Special Olympics B-ball tourney every year. Until now, they haven't gotten the Gold yet. I wanted to help them. I had a plan.
I decided to work a little "sports psychology " on Jimmy the day of the tourney finals. The kids had played well and were playing the final to decide who gets the Gold. Jimmy has been a star. I needed to help push them over the top.
I went to the local pet store and bought 3 Dozen live Guppies. I took them home and prepared a little "Super Pasta Surprise ' for Jimmy. I dumped Heinz Ketchup over the Guppies and topped it with some Parmasean cheese. Warmed it in the microwave and waited for Jimmy and my Mother-in-law to arrive at the house. We were all goin to the game together.
When Jimmy got there, I pulled him aside and asked him, " how bad you want that Gold Buddy?" He replied, " WEELWY WAAD WOB". I told him I had gotten ahold of the same meal Micheal Jordan eats before his games. Jimmy fuckin LOVES Michael Jordan. He almost pissed himself with excitement. I sat him down and told him, he had to eat the whole bowl and not to tell ANYONE cuz MJ would get mad.
OH MAN, he gobbled that shit down like it was fresh pussy. Said it was "Weelwy good". It was game time.
From the opening whistle, Jimmy ran that court like a Demon possesed. He was jukin, jivin, skyin. No one could get past him. The fucker was droppin three pointers like they were free throws!! His coaches looked on in amazement. Those Guppies were havin some kind of Placebo effect on the guy. He actually thought he was MJ!! I couldn't believe how well this was going.
Then things turned bad. I noticed Jimmy was starting to hold his side as he grimaced in pain. It was halfway through the 3rd quarter and Jimmy's team, ( The High Rollers) was up by 35 points. After a couple of more fast breaks and easy lay-ups. Ole Jimmy hit the floor at mid-court and started to wretch. His coaches ran over to see just what was wrong when all of a sudden, he spews forth this huge stream of heinous gruel!! It seemed like it wouldn't stop. Then right there in front of God and everyone he left this huge puddle of Guppies in a pool of what looked like blood. His little glasses even fell of into the mess. For some reason, this struck me as one of the funniest things I'd ever seen. While the rest of the room looked on in HORROR. I BURST into uncontrollable hysterical laughter!! I can still feel the eyes burning into me. Jimmy had to sit out and they ended up losing.
I got called into the counselors office with the President of the camp the next day. They told me Jimmy said I gave him Spaghetti. I denied it up and down. Said I had no idea what he was talking about. I know they didn't believe me. What could they do? I was not a welcome site at the camp after that. Things would only get worse.......
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Sometimes that mountain you been climbing is just a grain of sand.
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