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Fuck Chuck Norris this is MacGyver BITCH!!!
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Give him a fishing pole, you'll feed him for life...Give MacGyver a spool of thread, a half bottle of bleach and a pizza crust and he'll create a life form similiar to fish but capable of intelligent speech and advanced calculus.
Macgyver made a sail for his houseboat using 3 paper bags and a sock. He then proceeded to win the America's Cup for 7 years running.
Micheal Schumacher's winning F1 car was made in 3 weeks by Macgyver using only a Wal-Mart shopping cart, a 1983 model CB radio and two lawnmowers. But the secret of the cars success was the great traction he created by using a liquid that was made with melted fruit loops which he smeared on the tyres.
Macgyver once invented a machine so revolutionary that it would change the face of mankind forever. It was reported that Time magazine was to hail this as "The greatest invention of our century". Unfortunately one day it was stolen from MacGyver's houseboat. Eyewitnesses reported seeing a large male leaving the houseboat on the very same day. Two weeks later (to the day), the George Foreman grill was released to the public. The culprit was never apprehended.
Macguyver never thinks, he knows.
Macgyver invented the first PSP prototype in 1984 using 2 AA batteries, duct tape and a carton of low fat milk.
Every man who sports a mullet secretly wants to be Macgyver.
MacGyver having determined that he needed new challenges decided to leave this planet to explore the Universe. To this effect he used an old roll of toilet paper, a stick, 5 inches of duct tape and a peanut to construct a device for his travels. This device has now been taken by the US Government and dubbed the "Stargate"
Macgyer has beaten Steven Hawking at chess 11 out of 12 times. He threw the last game.
When God asked for light Chuck Norris told him to say please, When Chuck Norris could not complete this task McGyver created it out of a toothpick three chocolate bars and his swiss army knife.
When McGyver is bored, he builds stuff. Once when he was locked in a warehouse awaiting his death by one bad guy or another, he constructed, using only A paperclip, a cardboard box, duct tape, and some dust bunnies:
a salad shooter
a hydroponic garden
13 bombs
A PDTRM(Perpetual Duct Tape Reproduction Machine)
A new form of Kung Fu that he ultimately used to defeat his captors
What do YOU do on your days off?
Macgyver once made a working model of the theory of relativity using only duct tape, pennzoil and 37 matchsticks.
MacGyver once defeated both Saddam And Osama Bin Ladens armys single handedly with tooth paste, 3 tooth picks, and a stick of chewing gum.
There were no survivers but MacGyver
Once Macgyver was stuck in the Alps with only a Maltese Poodle as his companion. It was getting dark and he needed a way to get home. He removed his trusty swiss army knife and proceeded to duct tape some pack-ice, 3 pages from an old People magazine and moose hairs together. With this he formed wings which he then welded onto the back of the Maltese poodle.
He then flew the Maltese back home to Florida navigating by using a compass made with a match and a banana.
Two years later he sold the Maltese to a Hollywood producer who used the dog as one of the main stars in "The Neverending Story" trilogy.
Macgyver actually entered the first pilot show of Survivor, but was promptly banned for building a condo complete with remote controlled garage in the first hour.
__________________
BRJJ
NO GI: 12W(7 subs) - 7L(4 subs)
GI: 0W - 0L
Must not can't get with this money
Maeda > Carlos Gracie Sr. > Carlos Gracie Jr. > Rigan Machado > Amilcar Cipili > Me
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