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FREEDOM!!
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Looking for that 'dare to be great' situation |
Status:
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Skeletor IM's He-Man
He-Man4ever: Hey man, what's up?
Man-E-Faces: Not much. I just fought some bad guys. Stinkor got all up in my face. I had to fuck him up.
He-Man4ever: I fucking hate Stinkor. Which face did you use? I bet you went with the robot.
Man-E-Faces: No, I went with the monster. I was feeling pretty angry. I felt the monster fit my mood much better than a robot or a gay-looking dude with a pinkish-purple mask.
He-Man4ever: True. The pinkish-purple mask does not scream out to the world that you are into having sex with women. Anyways, did you hear about She-Ra?
Man-E-Faces: Yeah, I didn't want to say anything, man. That fucking blows.
He-Man4ever: No shit. I can't believe she let Orko pound her in the two-hole and video tape it.
Man-E-Faces: I heard he put a spell on her, man. She-Ra is usually a little more classy than that, at least for a girl named "She-Ra."
He-Man4ever: Whatever, dude, feeding a bitch 12 shots of Rumple Minze doesn't constitute rendering a spell. Orko is still a shitty fucking magician. Fuck him. He can keep her. My new girl, Teela, loves to go reverse cowgirl and cooks like a mother fucker. She-Ra smelled like self-tanner, cooked like fuckshit, and had hairy nipples.
Man-E-Faces: You drive home a good point, my friend. All three of my faces can agree with that. LOL
He-Man4ever: How about you never use that LOL shit with me again or I'll cut your legs off with my He-Man sword. I hate that fucking shit.
Man-E-Faces: Sorry.
He-Man4ever: Thanks. I have to admit, bitching about She-Ra wasn't the true reason I initiated this chat with you. I have some serious shit to talk about.
Man-E-Faces: No prob. What is it?
SkullFucker69: 8======D
He-Man4ever: Skeletor! Get the fuck out of here, you son-of-a-bitch. This is a private conversation.
SkullFucker69: Whatever, He-Man, I have to drive Beastman to his date with Prince Adam anyway. Then I'm gonna go buy a bottle of Rumple Minze for a very special friend. LOL
He-Man4ever: Fuck off. I told you that Prince Adam is not fucking gay. He is very manly and good at sports. He wears all of that pink and purple shit because he is secure in his masculinity. Stop spreading fucking rumors!
SkullFucker69: Whatever. ; )
Man-E-Faces: What a cock sucker.
Why does everyone thing I'm gay?
He-Man4ever: Whatever, forget him, let's get down to brass tacks. As you know, we have been getting slaughtered financially the last couple years. Our good guy forces aren't pulling in the wages we once did long ago.
Man-E-Faces: Universe saving doesn't pay like it used to, old friend.
He-Man4ever: That's my point. I'm glad you understand the business side of all this. You see, I had a few consultants come in and take an inventory of staff talent...and it seems that you pretty much amount to a piece of shit when it comes to defending the universe. You are no longer a member of the Heroic Warriors.
Man-E-Faces: ?
He-Man4ever: Dude, your amazing ability is that you switch between three fucking faces. It's retarded. You were good for about zero missions. You are completely useless. I hate you.
Man-E-Faces: What about undercover missions? I was sweet for those.
He-Man4ever: No, man, you weren't. You are a fucking pink-masked dude, a robot, and a green monster. The only scenario I could even dream of using you for would be if we encountered an evil planet of retarded blind kids. Even then, I would just have you hug a bomb and throw you out of my Wind Raider as I flew overhead . Everyone knows your gig.
Man-E-Faces: It's just like that?
He-Man4ever: Dude, Skeletor makes fun of you for having a gay three-way every time you masturbate. You are an embarrassment. Mekanek even cracks on you as well. That's right. The guy whose only ability is to make his neck shoot straight up in the air thinks that you are more of a fucking shithead than he is.
Man-E-Faces: I don't know what to say.
SkullFucker69: 8======D + ( ( ) = Prince Adam
He-Man4ever: Ignore him.
Man-E-Faces: I guess I'll head out to Grayskull and get my shit. This was a real dick move and you know it. I should give you a dose of big, green, monster face.
He-Man4ever: Hey, hey, hey, watch your tone, Man-E-FECES. Before you get all bent out of shape, I want you to remember three things.
He-Man4ever: First, I ride a fucking huge, green, panther-like animal that is covered in battle armor. He could bite your rotating face off, swallow it, and shit it out on the ground before you could lift a finger. Mostly, because you suck balls.
He-Man4ever: Second, I seriously kick anyone's ass who ever fucks with me or my planet. Consider the fact that I have a dude with a fucking skull for a head who wants to kill me and wipe my blood all over his balls (or so I've heard). I eat breakfast only miles away from his crib, Snake Mountain. It's filled with beasts, skunks, and a bevy of animal-themed characters who are solely dedicated to ending my existence. So, if you ever think you are going to come around, change into robot monsters and start making me nervous...
Man-E-Faces: Sorry, man...I just need some time right now. This is a lot to swallow. I spoke out of anger. My bad.
He-Man4ever: I wasn't finished, shitdick. Listen.
He-Man4ever: Third, I will cut you into a bountiful mix of randomly-sized pieces with my huge fucking He-Man sword because I am the baddest son-of-a-bitch in the universe. Don't ever fucking forget that, you face-changing fucktard.
Man-E-Faces: : (
Man-E-Faces has signed off.
Auto Response from Man-E-Faces: I am out being a HUMAN ROBOT MONSTER, leave a message.
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