[Cap'n]

I was out practicing rugby when I kicked the ball far enough to bounce it off the head of a 55 year old dude practicing his golf swing

Laughter ensued from both parties.

[hunto]

I got my gay Bro-in-law laid, before I got married...

I lived with the parents. They went to Vegas. As soon as they left I called my buddies, and we went out hitting little hole-in-the-wall saloons. Go to one, I'm lit already, and sitting at the bar getting a beer. 2 skanks came and sat on either side of me, wanting me to buy em a beer. I bought them each a beer and started talking to them. See, my parents were going to be gone for a week. I wanted a girl to fuck on while they were gone. So I'm telling this chick that I'm looking for a sex partner for a week. Fuck it, ya know? And so we shoot the shit, and my buddies are ragging on me bad, cuz the chick was big. So what- I didn't go out to get Pam Anderson, I wanted some casual sex. She takes me up on my offer, says the airs out at her place, so can she stay the week with me?
Yes.
So we all leave, and she gets a bag and packs some stuff and comes home with me. We laid up in the house for days, fucking, drinking, smoking, doing coke, wearing nothing but a robe for days on end. My future bro-in-lay Johnny comes up with some acid, calls me, wants to know if I'm game- I ask chicky, yeah, shes up for it, so Johnny comes by with acid. Mike and his GF come by with coke. So Mike and his GF are fuckin in one room, and me, Johnny, and Chicky were in the other. She starts in on me, and I'm wasted, fucked out. Johnny got up to go in the other room, and I said, "Yo Johnny, why don't you and Chicky get it on? Have you ever had sex dude?" And he replies no, and Chicky is tickled pink- "He's a virgin and I get him! Cool!" So I roll a couple, I'm already on acid and coke, and he put it to her- took some doing at first, but she knew what she was doing, and got him through his first piece of ass! I had gone and gotten Mike, his gf wouldn't come see, but he and I watched as Johnny finished and as soon as he did Chicky got up all proud she's give him his first piece. She went to clean up, he looked like a plane-crash victim-- total shock on his face.

[Rare Chestnuts]

Originally Posted by ratman201

Anyone else got an entertaining story. I've got 15 minutes before I hit the hay.

Sorry. My personal life is fairly boring.

[zop]

Hunto you are a true friend.

[zop]

"Tyson is biting my leg."

lol

[Saith]

I bet Vince can turn bychance fully lez

[Cap'n]

That is, if bychance weren't actually a dude.

[hunto]

Another?

Ok. Skip it if you want.

I got Mike and I jobs building scaffold for 11.00/hr. Good money 13 years ago. I had the tools, scaffold wrenches, etc, so we went up there, told the guy we'd been in Baytown on a shutdown, and needed to go back to work. He saw us with our tool belts on, work boots, we showed him the safety passes necessary (I know this shit, so we went beforehand), and he hired us. Filled out the paperwork, and 2 days later got the call to go to Texaco refinery for evening shift, 3:30-11:30. So we are driving there, all equipment, lunches packed, I'm driving, and he asks me, 'What's gonna happen when they find out we don't know how to build scaffold?' I said, 'Don't worry- there'll be crews. Just copy what they do, it isn't rocket science, its just cutting boards and framing out with pipe and connectors, tying with 9-wire.' We get there, on jobsite, and a foreman comes up to us, we were looking around at all the shit, and said to me and Mike, "You two climb that ladder and I want that scaffold toeboarded and handrailed with safety wire and etc etc ..." So I walked over to the scaffold, the foreman went on to someone else, Mike followed me, I looked up at the scaffold, wondering what the fuck am I gonna do, and I hear him come up, saws and wrenches and tools jangling, and he's GLARING at me. 'Where's the crews smart motherfucker? What are we gonna do now genius??" Well, we were fucked. The boss came over, said, ' Y'all really aren't experienced carpenters are you?" Mike immediately shook his head no (great poker face) and we got sent into a crew working on another scaffold. But, oddly, we didn't get our pay dropped. They left it alone- fell through the cracks or something, dunno. Did eventually learn all about building scaffolds, and got good at it.

[Cap'n]

You inspire me to lie to get where I need to in life hunto. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[hunto]

Originally Posted by Cap'n

You inspire me to lie to get where I need to in life hunto. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

You're welcome Cap'n. Anything I can do.