[graedy]

Read a bit about the musclebuilding-realted sideeffects of longtime cortison use today.
Summary: Its a mystery how i could build strength and muscels while taking high dosages twice a day (its a catabolic steroid).
Yesterday and today i took 90 mg. Tomorrow i will go down to 40 mg again. Btw. the body produces 2,5 mg itself

[graedy]

Yesterday i felt ok for sometime. So i tried how many push ups and chin ups i can do.
50 push ups
12 chin ups

Then i was done

[graedy]

CRP went down to 6. That is pretty good. But the rest of the bloodwork was as bad as always. No ferritin etc.. Doc said, that you can see in my bloodwork, that im loosin lots of blood. Lets see how things develop.

[graedy]

Read arround in forums about Colitis/Crohn. Man! Reading posts from people, that suffer from it 20 and more years doesnt make you have positive feelings about your future. Its one of the most depressing things you can read about. Stories about people who keep on fighitng but never win and never really loose. I would prefer if it was death or cured. You can die from those diseases or the sideeffects of the medicaments. But most of the time you do not. But you do not really live eihter. The guy who finds a medicament to cure those diseases will be my god.

[Espo]

Hang in there bro! Hopefully I can make you laugh at this. I went in to the Coffeshop yesterday morning (same one every day) they have sirius satellite radio and the barrista's had the 80's station on and wouldn't you know never surrender was on mmmeeeoooowwweeeuuuu.

[graedy]

the eighties. Shitty music (not everything but...), horrible fashion. Im glad i was just born in this time ;)

[graedy]

Tomorrow the Prof will decide wether or not he will take me out of study because im in such a bad condition (15-20 times on the toilette, pain, bleeding etc.). He thinks, that i get Placebo at the moment.
So if im out tomorrow and it was Placebo, i will get the medication from then on. If it was the medication, that would mean, that the medicamtn doesnt help.... over and out. Im so nervous!

[graedy]

Two other patients had to leave the study. That Placebothing is just fucked up. Prof says, he has several people which feel absolutelly fine and take no cortison anymore (those people seem to get the medication , so it works very well). And then you have the Placebopatients who have to suffer. I will keep on trying to make it through the 6 weeks (so the study is a success and all the other colitis patients get the medication as fast as possible). But if it doesnt get better within the next days, its just impossible because im dead in 6 weeks. Man, what a fight!

[dexter c]

Fuck. Good luck man.

[MMA Fun]

War graedy..