[fingercuffs]

Originally Posted by samso

What is the most opportune time you dumped a girlfriend? In case anyone doesn't understand, I'll start.

The girl I had been with back in 1999, I was with her for about 6 months and it was a week before new years, the change in the millenium. She had to have major surgery on some issue with both of her legs. She was going to be in wheelchair for like 3 months.

I kept telling myself that I should break up with her before the surgery because I didn't want to have to go to the hospital and be with her while she was in the waiting room and be by her side when she got out of surgery. You know, all that good boyfriend crap!

Her surgery was set up for a week after new years so I figured I could at least get laid at the turn of the millenium and then dump her the day after to avoid all the hassle. I ended up going away for work the day after Christmas. She calls me on the 29th and tells me that the doctor can't do the surgery in January and she can either push it off to March of do it right now. Turns out she gets the surgery on the 30th and I get home at 11:00pm.
I go to the hospital on the morning of New Years all pissed off because now I am doinf exactly what I didn't want to do. Visiting this depressing chick in the hospital, and on top of it, not getting laid that night. I'm sitting in the room, she's in pain, miserable. I tell her I have to go and I'll be back in a couple hours.

I'm in my car driving and call her and tell her I can't do this. I end it. She's in traction, double cast type shit and I end it.

Good part of the story is I end up hooking up with a hot Malaysian chick, shaved snatch and everything, humped her 3 times that night.

Someone elses turn now.

You must be dead proud of yourself to be bringing it up some 8 years later. Want a pat on the back?

[Hammer_Fist]

I drank too much at a friend's house one day, the same day I had some spicy Thai food. I got the urge to shit, so I went up stairs and started shitting out some nasty diarrhea, all the while trying not to puke.

So there I was sitting on the toilet, head spinning, shitting my brains out. Connected to the bathroom was this room that nobody ever really went in. Whilst sitting there this girl and her fat boyfriend from Texas sneak into this adjacent room. I hear this guy copping a feel and her being all like "No, not right now." Well the tubby Texan persisted and they started getting down in this adjacent room, and I can hear everything.

It was fucking nasty. The texan is grunting and snorting like the fat pig that he is, and she's breathing all deep and shit. Visions of this fat fuck porking this chick flooded my mind and I lost control over my gag reflex. I couldn't handle it and had to jump up and puke in the toilet full of Thai shits. But everyone knows that when you have the shits, as soon as you stand up you have to shit again. So for the next ten minutes I was doing a dance of puking and shitting. The worst part was that every time I puked it was magnified because of the smell of my own shit, and the visions of the fat texan.

[BigB0SS]

just last night, i was life-dumped by my friend's sister when she told me "i would never ever hang out with you". What a bitch

[Wedgebuster]

Was bangn a freaky broad for a couple weeks and each time the crazy shit she wanted to do kept escalating. When she asked me to dump on her chest, I did. Then I dumped her.

[endubrules]

Originally Posted by DREONM24

Awww damnit TS! I thought this was gonna be some 2girls1cup story. Your LAME

Don't have Two Girls, One Cup, so here is the next best thing:

[IMG][/IMG]

[Dane Bramage]

this thread is shit.

[Ninjutsu Master]

I had gone to a wrestling tournament and one of my coaches took a couple of us to lunch at applebee's and I had some good ass food even though it seemed like it had been microwaved. Anyway so we go back to the tournament and I had to take the illest dump, my stomach was crampin and everything, so I go to take a shit and it blasts everywhere and and the fuckin dumbass kids who had been in there before me had stuck all the toilet paper to the ceiling and left big globs of it on the floor, so I had to unroll the cardboard tube and use that to my ass off with.

[White_Roach]

That's fucking nasty man.

[rammsteiner]

Originally Posted by plasterdog

A friend of mine dumped a girl on her birthday which also the day before her dad had died and he just told her straight that he didn't like her anymore nad had been cheating on her.

If any buddy of mine ever did that....that'd be the last time I hang out with him/her.

[J Storm]

Originally Posted by Hammer_Fist

. So for the next ten minutes I was doing a dance of puking and shitting. The worst part was that every time I puked it was magnified because of the smell of my own shit, and the visions of the fat texan.

that is the funniest thing i've read all night