[DREONM24]

Awww damnit TS! I thought this was gonna be some 2girls1cup story. Your LAME

[fibonacci_guy]

Once when I was in Mendoza, my uncle brought my brother,dad and I up to the mountains. There were some man made lakes out there so we went fishing. Anyway I knew I had bad ass diarrhea, you know the kind where your stomach is killing you. U can almost feel the diarrhea in your stomach, and we were in the middle of nowhere. No houses or restaurants or anything in site . So I just asked my brother and cousin to just see if anyone was coming and I just walked knee deep into the water and dropped my bathing suit and started shitting. The only problem was is that since I wasn't sitting down, gravity wasn't having its full effect on getting it out, so it's just seeping out on my bathing suit and I'm just trying to splash water on it to try and get the nugget shit out of there. Got most of it out. And on the drive home I had to sit all cramped up in the back seat with my bro and cousin. When I got out of the car, where I sat, it naturally smelled like shit. But oh well, the smell eventually subsided.
The end

[iowejf]

one time i ate 6 steaks and spent about 2 hours getting rid of it the next day.

[TheWalrus]

I gave my ex the divorce papers 2weeks before christmas. Beat that bitches!

[NerfKnees]

"Jesus Christ, boy! What did you eat?"

[White_Roach]

Originally Posted by cheese7668

I had some amazing, but spicy Mexican food right on the border. It was amazing at the time, but I was on the shitter for a good hour the next day...terrible. To top it off I was out of TP

This is the first thing I thought of when I saw this thread. lol

[KrazyKanadian]

I was in Mexico one time, and just before my flight home, I was puking and shitting at the same time in the airport. Needless to say, it was pretty shitty.

[The Gem]

my friend would dump a girl in November before Christmas and wouldn't start dating another girl until March to avoid Valentine's day. He was a genius. He would make sure said girls birthday also was in that November to March window.

[CenterMass]

Originally Posted by samso

What is the most opportune time you dumped a girlfriend? In case anyone doesn't understand, I'll start.

The girl I had been with back in 1999, I was with her for about 6 months and it was a week before new years, the change in the millenium. She had to have major surgery on some issue with both of her legs. She was going to be in wheelchair for like 3 months.

I kept telling myself that I should break up with her before the surgery because I didn't want to have to go to the hospital and be with her while she was in the waiting room and be by her side when she got out of surgery. You know, all that good boyfriend crap!

Her surgery was set up for a week after new years so I figured I could at least get laid at the turn of the millenium and then dump her the day after to avoid all the hassle. I ended up going away for work the day after Christmas. She calls me on the 29th and tells me that the doctor can't do the surgery in January and she can either push it off to March of do it right now. Turns out she gets the surgery on the 30th and I get home at 11:00pm.
I go to the hospital on the morning of New Years all pissed off because now I am doinf exactly what I didn't want to do. Visiting this depressing chick in the hospital, and on top of it, not getting laid that night. I'm sitting in the room, she's in pain, miserable. I tell her I have to go and I'll be back in a couple hours.

I'm in my car driving and call her and tell her I can't do this. I end it. She's in traction, double cast type shit and I end it.

Good part of the story is I end up hooking up with a hot Malaysian chick, shaved snatch and everything, humped her 3 times that night.

Someone elses turn now.

I dressed up for my girlfriends sisters wedding.

Then I hated being forced to be there.

So I waited until she got to tell her sister how lovely she was before I said

"Fuck this nonsense. I'm done!"


Her sisters marriage lasted 4 years.

I knew it was B.S. to begin with, thats why I played teh asshole.

[fingercuffs]

Originally Posted by samso

What is the most opportune time you dumped a girlfriend? In case anyone doesn't understand, I'll start.

The girl I had been with back in 1999, I was with her for about 6 months and it was a week before new years, the change in the millenium. She had to have major surgery on some issue with both of her legs. She was going to be in wheelchair for like 3 months.

I kept telling myself that I should break up with her before the surgery because I didn't want to have to go to the hospital and be with her while she was in the waiting room and be by her side when she got out of surgery. You know, all that good boyfriend crap!

Her surgery was set up for a week after new years so I figured I could at least get laid at the turn of the millenium and then dump her the day after to avoid all the hassle. I ended up going away for work the day after Christmas. She calls me on the 29th and tells me that the doctor can't do the surgery in January and she can either push it off to March of do it right now. Turns out she gets the surgery on the 30th and I get home at 11:00pm.
I go to the hospital on the morning of New Years all pissed off because now I am doinf exactly what I didn't want to do. Visiting this depressing chick in the hospital, and on top of it, not getting laid that night. I'm sitting in the room, she's in pain, miserable. I tell her I have to go and I'll be back in a couple hours.

I'm in my car driving and call her and tell her I can't do this. I end it. She's in traction, double cast type shit and I end it.

Good part of the story is I end up hooking up with a hot Malaysian chick, shaved snatch and everything, humped her 3 times that night.

Someone elses turn now.

You must be dead proud of yourself to be bringing it up some 8 years later. Want a pat on the back?