Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Minotauro693
Just interested in what issues you see? I'm not offended btw, just interested in how I am perceived. I also never rule out advice that is potentially beneficial.
To those who are laughing out loud saying I got a taste of my own medicine or whatever: my initial question was, why the three women i have dated have ALL taken this road. I am obviously over the girl since I left her and ended everything specifically on my terms. I really don't think its the case of the "pot wanting the kettle back."
|
These were the red flag statements I read in your post. In hindsight I realize it could have just been miswording but I'll analyze it a bit anyway.
Quote:
|
I am not outwardly emotional, but inside I am very emotional. I remember specifics and I pay close attention. I am very suspicious as well. I'm also very analytical.
|
You, like most guys (including myself), try to be less outwardly emotional, but when you said VERY inwardly emotional, it sounded a bit much too me. As if you were crying and screaming in your head half the time. If thats the case, just because you don't show it on the surface doesn't mean you have your shit together.
Also, "I am very suspicious as well" to me sounds like another way of saying, "I have jealousy issues." Is that what you were hinting at? Do you have trouble trusting the girls you are with? I don't blame you if its difficult due to past relationships, but the fact of the matter is, none of your relationships are ever going to work unless you trust the girl. I know that sounds cliche, but its true. The only time you should stop trusting her is when she actually did something to break the trust, at which point you should just end the relationship. I'm not talking, she was late to meet you for dinner, I mean you caught her having sex with another guy.
You see the thing is if you are constantly suspicious of them, then you treat them with suspicion. Then she feels like, "Well, if I'm going to constantly be treated like a cheater, I might as well get the benifits of cheating at the same time." Basically its a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But lets assume she didn't cheat, but rather stayed loyal. That sucks for you that you are constantly suspicious of her. You never get to enjoy the relationship. Because its impossible to feel happy at the same time you are feeling suspicious of your girlfriend, unless you are suspicious that she might be planning on giving you a great blow job, but I doubt thats what you meant by suspicious.
It is for these reasons that relationships without trust don't work, and there are many other examples of why a lack of trust ruins relationships.
Trust means you believe that she wouldn't do anything to intentionally hurt you. If you don't have that, then why even be with her. The problem some guys have is no matter how great the girl they are with is, they still don't have trust, and those guys shouldn't be in relationships until they get over those trust issues. How do you get over them? See a therapist, or even read a few good books about it.
I had some trust issues, but I worked on them and things are going great for me now.
The beautiful thing is, if you do trust your girlfriend they become trustworthy usually. And if they prove not to be, no biggy, dump them.
Quote:
|
I completely write girls off when I'm done with them, that is, I let them know their flaws and why I dont wish to know them anymore when we break up.
|
At first I read this and I thought, "Great, he used the Cut All Ties method, or C.A.T. That is great to do after a break up. So you told her you don't want to her anymore after you break up, awesome, but then you contradicted yourself...
Quote:
|
I've kept up with her via her myspace profile and she doesn't know that I keep tabs on her. She has a lot of new girlfriends now(something she never had while we were together) and is partying a lot and I hear about how she has all these "boy-toys" as she calls them.
|
Why have you kept tabs on her? Clearly you do want to know her still. You say you are over her, but you continue to keep tabs on her to see what she is up to. Who cares let it go. I'm sure my slutty ex slept with a ton of guys after I dumped her, but I don't know about any of them because I don't keep tabs on her because I don't care.
