[YourMaster]

I have been married for many years now. My wife knows what I eat and what I don’t. I told her for 10 years no garlic in my pasta because it makes me fart. Recently what does she do? Put garlic.

I told her I need raisins in my oatmeal to keep me regular. Suddenly these days she doesn’t put raisins in my oatmeal. WTF is going on? Is she trying to kill my old ass or what?

[AmericaOverAll]

ban.

[mr_yamamoto]

she hate you

[YourMaster]

Originally Posted by mr_yamamoto

she hate you

ahhh....i dont blame her.

[YourMaster]

Originally Posted by AmericaOverAll

ban.

Thanks for your input. Doley noted.

Banning her from cooking won't solve anything.

[mahalo]

she's after your life insurance money.

[InSummary]

Maybe she likes sniffing your ass gas?



Heres what you do: while laying in bed, before she falls asleep, raise your feet up at the end of the bed. This creates a big pocket of air. Then, let out as much fart as you can muster. Wait a few seconds and then quickly drop your feet back down. The air pocket will rush out from under the sheets, right under your noses, bringing the fart with it.

[FX]

she's cheating on you.

[YourMaster]

Originally Posted by FX

she's cheating on you.

If you saw what she looked like, you'd understand why she isnt.

[MikeMartial]

Idea: Cook your own damn food. That's obviously the idea she's trying to give you.