[Colin]

Social dynamics is an interesting thing.

Lately, on numerous occasions ive noticed how some people receive more respect and attention than others.

I'm not talking of famous people etc, just an everyday interaction or club situation where you and your friends go out and meet other people, some you know some you dont.

if im honest id say im somewhere in the middle, some people seem to take to me, some people dont and vice versa of course. What im intruged about though, is how some people almost effortlessly get more respect than another from a perfect stranger or someone they barely know, perhaps after only a few words. Why is this; somethings the coldness of it pisses me off regardless of which side im on at the time im generally aware its petty and founded upon screwed up human mentality for most part..


What do you think are the factors here and to which degrees...

Reputation?
Appearance?
Body language?
Conversation?
How approachable or fun you come across etc...?



anyone have any examples or comments?

[Darth DanaWhite]

It's aura... power of attraction.

It's all of what you listed and more. Something that can't be taught specifically, but in all cases it's the strength of mind with a dominate purpose.

[Colin]

Originally Posted by Darth DanaWhite

It's aura... power of attraction.

It's all of what you listed and more. Something that can't be taught specifically, but in all cases it's the strength of mind with a dominate purpose.

you see, thats what im led to believe but sometimes i find this questionable, bar the reputation one perhaps.

i mean, i know guys that are pea brains and lack any of those 2 qualities u mentioned but seem to have something magnetic about them (seemingly)...thats where my respect for the social set-up dwindles strongly.


i suppose the old saying applies - dont hate the player, hate the game

[WandyWiolentFan]

fearful people give out instant respect.

[Volund]

Originally Posted by Colin297

Social dynamics is an interesting thing.

Lately, on numerous occasions ive noticed how some people receive more respect and attention than others.

I'm not talking of famous people etc, just an everyday interaction or club situation where you and your friends go out and meet other people, some you know some you dont.

if im honest id say im somewhere in the middle, some people seem to take to me, some people dont and vice versa of course. What im intruged about though, is how some people almost effortlessly get more respect than another from a perfect stranger or someone they barely know, perhaps after only a few words. Why is this; somethings the coldness of it pisses me off regardless of which side im on at the time im generally aware its petty and founded upon screwed up human mentality for most part..


What do you think are the factors here and to which degrees...

Reputation?
Appearance?
Body language?
Conversation?
How approachable or fun you come across etc...?



anyone have any examples or comments?

First impression is subconcious and immedieate. Everyone sizes everyone up, it just happens quickly and you don't realize it. Just like in the animal kingdom, appearence and body language lets you know if you should give them respect, out of fear or intimidation.

It's better to be loved than feared, but to be loved takes so much more work.

After appearence and body language, comes conversation then reputation.

[magicman531]

because they take it, in one way or another

[efg]

Ironically, self-respect. People respect others that respect themselves. Fear, etc are just byproducts.

[CenterMass]

Originally Posted by Colin297

Social dynamics is an interesting thing.

Lately, on numerous occasions ive noticed how some people receive more respect and attention than others.

I'm not talking of famous people etc, just an everyday interaction or club situation where you and your friends go out and meet other people, some you know some you dont.

if im honest id say im somewhere in the middle, some people seem to take to me, some people dont and vice versa of course. What im intruged about though, is how some people almost effortlessly get more respect than another from a perfect stranger or someone they barely know, perhaps after only a few words. Why is this; somethings the coldness of it pisses me off regardless of which side im on at the time im generally aware its petty and founded upon screwed up human mentality for most part..


What do you think are the factors here and to which degrees...

Reputation?
Appearance?
Body language?
Conversation?
How approachable or fun you come across etc...?



anyone have any examples or comments?

I've been told i look "Serious"

I'm not very tall (only 5'11), but Im stocky and look like Matt Serra body type wise.

yes, I'm a cop, so I have a certain look of pain in my face from the things I've seen.

But I'm a really nice person I think. I have a helluva sense of humor, but socially I notice, I have no problems interacting quite quickly in any situation.

I think it's an "aura" as one poster said. Also it's how you speak IMO. Not to say it's a measure of intelligence, because alot of intelligent people are inarticulate, so it's a put off.

It's just a way you carry yourself. I guess it's a hard question to answer for soemone who doesent have a problem with it.

But it's a great question.

Kudos.

[markulous]

It's called charisma. Here is the definition by Dungeons & Dragons:

Charisma (CHA) Charisma measures a character’s force of personality, persuasiveness, personal magnetism, ability to lead, and physical attractiveness. This ability represents actual strength of personality, not merely how one is perceived by others in a social setting.

And obviously your reputation is another factor.

[efg]

Originally Posted by markulous

It's called charisma. Here is the definition by Dungeons & Dragons:

Charisma (CHA) Charisma measures a character’s force of personality, persuasiveness, personal magnetism, ability to lead, and physical attractiveness. This ability represents actual strength of personality, not merely how one is perceived by others in a social setting.

And obviously your reputation is another factor.

That's what I thought of first too, but I think charisma is a product of self-respect. An example is some bad-ass dude who doesn't give a fuck about anyone else -- he is not particularly charismatic, but he engenders respect.