I need some serious advice (a little long)

ModernWarrior · 11:02 AM

I'm not looking for sympathy or anything by this thread, I need some advice on what to do.

I lived with my mom for about 13 years before moving away from her to live with my dad. Well I only lived with him for close to 2 years. Things got bad there, fast My parents have been divorced since I was a baby.

Well now my mom has since remarried and I am living with her and my stepdad here in Vegas. The problem is, my stepdad has a gambling problem, and it is destroying the marriage. My stepdad is gone sometimes for 2-5 days at a time, and keeps piling up the debt. It is making my mom's life hell. She had to get a 2nd job to pay debts caused by him. She wasn't able to work there for long because she has a bad back not could not handle the physical stress of two jobs.

I have a younger sister, and I also have an older brother who looks after me, but pretty much stays out of everything else, because he works odd hours and whatnot. The gambling got to a point where my stepdad had stolen my brothers credit-card while he was asleep, and attempted to take all he had. He got off with about a grand. He payed back most of it (not that it helps). My mom wants to leave him, but does not know what to do. As of now he has been gone for like 3 days, and his credit-card company has called the house looking for him.

Money is a big part of why my mom does not leave him. She cannot afford the house we just moved into by herself, and neither can my stepdad if we left him the house. She does not want her credit to be ruined like his is right now due to unpaid loans and such.

Without someone to help her through what she and my family are going through, she keeps looking to me for support. I don't know what she would do without me. She cries at work all the time, and is incredibly stressed at home. She doesn't sleep because she is so stressed. It is getting very hard on myself being only 16 (17 in a week), and giving her support with all these 'adult' problems. Right now I am doing every possible thing that I can to give her one less thing to worry about. She was crying because she thought I would be upset we did not do anything for the fourth of July. I could really care less it is just another day to me, but she was upset.

So I turn to someone else for advice. My fellow sherdoggers. What would you do if you were in my situation, how would you handle. What your advice you would give to your parent if you were in my shoes?

LOOK AT THE UPDATE POST I MADE BELOW TOWARDS THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE

Clint07 · 07-05-2006, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ModernWarrior

Money is a big part of why my mom does not leave him. She cannot afford the house we just moved into by herself, and neither can my stepdad if we left him the house. She does not want her credit to be ruined like his is right now due to unpaid loans and such.

I think the lesser of the two evils would be to get the divorce and just sell the house. Her credit might be hit a little but with your stepdad racking up gambling debts, her credit is going to be worse if she allows him to continue. She also seriously needs to get your step-dad some help with his gambling addiction.

ModernWarrior · 07-05-2006, 12:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clint07

I think the lesser of the two evils would be to get the divorce and just sell the house. Her credit might be hit a little but with your stepdad racking up gambling debts, her credit is going to be worse if she allows him to continue. She also seriously needs to get your step-dad some help with his gambling addiction.

Thanks for the help. He has been taking some pills and seen a doctor/therapist for this. The day his pills ran out, he had a meeting with his therapist, but he didn't go and we have not seen him since.

mr_yamamoto · 07-05-2006, 12:46 PM

kill your stepdad.

and yes, i'm dead serious.

Mens Rea · 07-05-2006, 01:28 PM

Wow.

First I think you should realize that you're a kid and these are adult problems. Whatever you do, don't blame yourself for any outcome in this matter. I know you're right in the middle of it and it's hard to get perspective, but you have to make sure that you don't take on too much. The other thing that you have to keep in perspective is that many people have lived in situations much harder than yours.

But this is really tough. Hopefully one of two things will happen: stepdad will win it big or stepdad will have a clogged artery and his life ins will kick in - even though I doubt he has any.

Hammer_Fist · 07-05-2006, 01:28 PM

Or just beat the shit out of him. Then tell him that what he does to your mother causes her more pain than the beating you just gave him. Tell him that if he doesn't stop gambling that he can expect regular asswhoopings that get progressively worse with the amount of debt he acrues.

Ezeji · 07-05-2006, 03:33 PM

Get your stepdad to a therapist. Also since you're 16 you should get a part time job and help your mom with some of the bills. Hell when I was 16 I was working the gas station 20 hours a week earning minimum wage helping to paid food and utility expenses.

Mens Rea · 07-05-2006, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ezeji

Get your stepdad to a therapist. Also since you're 16 you should get a part time job and help your mom with some of the bills. Hell when I was 16 I was working the gas station 20 hours a week earning minimum wage helping to paid food and utility expenses.

And look where that got you today!

dental133 · 07-05-2006, 08:20 PM

Your mom has to leave your stepdad. He's become expendible and brings nothing positive to the table. Tell her to get rid of him.

Ezeji · 07-05-2006, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mens Rea

And look where that got you today!

I'm an accountant now. Aiming straight for top management in a few more years. Rags to riches baby. Rags to riches.