[SpacePotato]

This thread has made me scared to leave my home.

[Hagler]

Originally Posted by SpacePotato

My poop smells like roses.

Please don't tell us what your job is.

[KicDaKitty]

If you go to an ER and need stitches do yourself a favor and don't say "I want the plastic surgeon on call to stitch me" that plastic surgeon on call is actually a resident, not an actual plastic surgeon. Always ask for one of the attending er doctors to stitch you up. They have done hundreds, maybe even thousand of stitch jobs and you will have a much better looking scar.

[lb323]

Originally Posted by negaduck

when i was a kid i was able to do both. id get qp of nice nugs for $900 and sit down at the table and split it up 32 ways. id keep 2 of them for me and sell the other 30 at 50 bucks a piece. that means free smoke for me plus $600 profits. my friends were all big time smokers so most of it would just get sold to them so i didnt even have to deal with shady people. i was such a selfish little prick that i didnt even give my friends discounted prices. MUAHAHAHAHA

edit: nevermind, you are probably talking about real drugs. the kind that are addictive. in which case i would have never been able to keep just 2 of the 32, so i see what youre saying.

lmao 900 for a qp??

[Jimmy Needles]

when a customer returns a pair of shoes my manager will rip the shoes himself and send them back to the company as a defect

underarmour is really easy to steal. Our store gets hammered

[Angus McSteak]

Originally Posted by JohnnyBuddha

Otherwise, I have a few friends in construction (painting, drywalling) who say everyone on their crew smokes weed at lunch and/or on break and then their productivity goes up.

I used to smoke alot of weed and this is one thing I noticed: If I smoke before doing a task, my productivity sucks. If I start the task, take a smoke break then get back to it, my productivity goes up.

[magicman]

We often advertise merchandise that we dont have and never did at a cheap price.

[JJ FRENCH]

Count your pills when you get them from your pharmacy and do it right in front of them..

[Angus McSteak]

If you like to eat at diners, assume the person cooking your meal is smoking over it and sweating over it. It's also possible he coughed over it and sneezed in too.

[VOR.]

Originally Posted by wenispinkle

I always knew those things were full of shit.

Uh, keeping a baseball field flat is harder than it sounds? I dont know, I've only had two jobs. haha

You don't want the field to be flat. It needs to slope to drain when it rains.