[ace124]

I started dating this girl about a year ago. The problem Im having is that she had sex with a guy that she was friends with before me and the guy is still in her circle of friends.

I personally dont like been around people that she has had sex with but she says there is nothing to worry about and that we wont be around him all the time. Im trying really hard to be ok with it but I just cant get past it. Have any of you ever been in this situation?

[stik]

Yep. Just don't act like everythings cool and turn a blind eye toward the situation.
Don't jump to conclusions but watch the situation from every angle like a hawk.
And a "gut" feeling goes along way.

[icepick]

sounds like your problem, not hers. you'd better talk to her about it, because it doesn't sound like you're getting over it anytime soon. not trying to get down on you, because i'd feel the same way if i were in your position. but you need to face he facts: it's just an awkward situation through and through.

[NHB7]

I know it sucks, but you knew they were friends before you got together, so you can't expect her to change it. The best way to push a girl to cheating on you is not to trust her. So trust your girl. Whenever I see a guy creeping on a girl I'm with, I always keep this attitude in my arsonal, "That guy is lame. If my girl messed with him she would be an idiot, which she isn't. If she does, I don't want to be with an idiot so good thing I found out."

That is just for in your head thinking. You don't actually say it, because saying it is confessing insecurity.

It helps me stay sane, and confident.

[ace124]

Thanks for your replies. This situation has been driving me crazy but I still need to give it a shot. She hasn't giving me a reason not to trust her yet so Im just gonna see how it goes.

[DeathNTaxes]

Yeah, just be cool calm collected. That shit sucks but just remember it's fucking juvenile and immature to let this ruin a good thing. It is not cool though if she's all huggy feely friends with the guy which it sounds like she isn't about. So just play it cool but don't ignore the obvious.

[Sha_nay_nay]

I would leave her.

Why stay with a girl who still hangs with some guy she banged?

If you want a serious relationship this girl is not the one.

If you just want this girl for sex then whatever.....

[Three Gun Fish]

I would take my ball and go home.

Peace of mind is priceless, and we all think we're tough enough to handle our problems. What happens is we mistake "handling our problems" with "just grin and bear it."

These are not the same things.

Do not test your tolerance. As a young person, we must always push the envelope in order to figure out where our measure stops. BUT! At some point you must accept when ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

To go beyond your threshold, as you can see, drives a n_gga crazy!

Either you hash it out with her, or you split. I don't cotton to the notion you can't ask your girlfriend to ex out one of her friends. You can ask, she has the right to say no, but there's no rule says you just gotta accept bullshit on account they share old times.

You've got feelings too; girlfriends ought to take that into account.

Still, if you can successfully navigate your relationship through these stormy waters, you'll feel better for it. You'll feel closer. If not -- that's a good sign the relationship is unhealthy.

[ace124]

The thing is that in the beginning of the relationship she stopped hanging out with that crowd and it was just me and her doing our thing.

But she felt bad for doing that to her friends. So she decided that she still wanted to hang out with them. There is only two people out of all the friends that she really missed and that was a couple that she was roommates with. But the guy she hooked up with is friends with them as well. So thats the problem. But I will figure this shit out. thanks for the advice you guys. It really helped.

[MMAfan007]

Bottle up your rage and let it all out at 2 in the morning in a couple of weeks. Then she will know how much it bothers you.