[blackthorne]

For the record: a 'mayberry movie review' is not a 'mayberry movie review' unless it's more than two quasi-long paragraphs. So stop it you bastards! I know. Not everyone can be long winded and pretentious like some of us. But still.

Anyway, the plot is pretty simple: something really big and disgusting looking attacks New York City. Abercrombie model #1 follows female Abercrombie model #1 who he's in love with that left the party early because Abercrombie model #1 is leaving her to go to Japan. Once the monster starts smashing shit up, he's followed by a group of friends/acquaintances to help rescue her.

First off, if you hated the hand held camera style that movies like The Blair Witch have employed, then you'll hate this movie. Not only is it the exact same but it's significantly shakier. With not a moment that goes by without the camera going into siezures. Remember when our beloved Sherdog friend Shawn Toronto filmed himself at a gym watching GSP show students the superman punch and everyone laughed at him because he couldn't keep from mugging for the camera, and would shoot the video sideways, shake it like a a magic 8 ball, and upside down, and go back to his expressionless face again because all the above would naturally give us a better view? That's basically how it's shot: like Shawn Toronto was holding the camera. If you can't get past that, don't watch it.

If you're like me, and you can, then you should really enjoy this movie.

For one, it's played straight, and we're dropped right in the middle of all the action. As a monster movie, it succeeds on all levels in providing for a thrilling adventure. One of the things that emphasizes this is in how merciless the creature is. You're never sure who will die next, and that's because it's played like a documentary. It helps that the acting is all effective, and the effects are top notch. The creature itself isn't anything special. If you've seen The Host (another great monster movie) then you know the angle they're playing.

Minor spoilers lie ahead so stop reading if you're interested.

Another thing that works is that nothing is ever explained about the monster. It simply attacks. A lot of critics are quick to point out the ****phor; 9/11. In the movie, the monster never looks vulnerable. It smashes through shit, appears to die in one scene, only to reappear just as strong in the next scene; which is I guess where people invoke the idea that the monster is like terrorism- it won't go away, and playing tit for tat against it only continues its cycle of destruction.

Sure this movie is technically a big dumb action/monster movie, but because it's played straight, you always feel like you're in the middle of a New York ravaged by a big dumb monster. There are no winks, and nods to the audience that we're watching some re-imagining of Godzilla. A monster that's never truly revealed attacks. People die. New York is pillaged. More people die. And that's it.

For a monster movie, it's as well crafted as it gets.

[Art_Wanderlei]

"Abercrombie model #1 follows female Abercrombie model #1 who he's in love with that left the party early because Abercrombie model #1 is leaving her to go to Japan."




Thats exactly why I never pay to watch movies anymore, unless of course JOHN RAMBO IS INVOLVED.

[blackthorne]

John Rambo should be good. Unlike with Rocky Balboa, it's believable that Rambo can still be decimating wholesale communist villages despite old age having kicked in several decades ago.

[Soulbane]

I just got back from the movie.

In a sentence, it's a solid C+ movie. Nothing more.

[Art_Wanderlei]

Fuck this cloverfield hysteria, seriously. RAMBO is gonna bring back what movies are all about. Non stop action and walking out of that theater feeling totally satisfied in every way. Not asking a bunch questions, 'OMG does that thing destroy the whole world?' 'Was the whole movie just a 9/11 ****phor?'

No. The only question you should be asking at the end of RAMBO is what can I do to be more of a badass, like RAMBO!

[Soulbane]

At a Glance

Many films have embraced seemingly unique recipes, in an attempt to deliver a "less than typical" movie experience for the masses. The truth is, such films never really amount to much besides Pop culture eye candy, and Cloverfield, in that very respect, is no different.

Synopsis

The plot of the film is very simple. Friends are recording a camera for a good friend who has ascertained a prestigious corporate job in Japan. Though before everything can take place, a very large monster, based loosely on the "Cthulhu Mythos," appears and begins to terrorize all of Manhattan.

Rob, the main friend whom is leaving for Japan, must attempt to save a woman, whom has a particularly sophisticated and unclear position in his life, before the military decides to take severe measures to ensure this creature's death.

Find the girl, escape the monster, and hope to survive. Plots really don't get much more simple than this.

The Review

Check your brain at the door before the film begins.

Though Cloverfield very much so delivers in the audio and visual department, there are simply too many disparaging and conflicting facts that really makes the film difficult to enjoy.

As previously mentioned, the production quality, the visuals, aided with the "documentary style," quirky production method, is top notch. However, much like contemporary films have proven recently, technical brilliance is not sufficient enough to make a movie, "good." Regardless of what the standard for a, "good" film is.

Cloverfield is just another example that directors and screenwriters haven't learned much when it comes to the Suspense, Thriller and Horror department.

What do I mean? Cloverfield runs approximately 84 minutes total, including the credits. Yet the first 20 minutes of the film is occupied with nothing but social drama reminiscent of high school. What the director and screenwriter was trying to do, was create a broad canvas to develop his characters further. Yes, characterization, an important tool while crafting a film, yet the audience is given nothing substantive about the characters that makes us sympathize with them in any way.

There was an attempt to create an emphatic backdrop to each character, but the reality is, the film does such a poor job emphasizing the meat of its film, which are the people having to experience this catastrophe, that when some begin to die, you don't really care.

What makes a film so terrifying, is when the audience can share the vulnerability and the pathos being conveyed by the characters on screen. The audience shares no connection with the characters in this film. Why? Well, it's difficult to relate to an American Eagle model, yes I speak in jest, ascertaining a prestigious V.P. position in Japan.

The monster is also another issue. When the origins, intentions, and purpose of such a monstrous beast is kept shrouded in mystery, it begs whomever lays witness to the monster to ask questions, including the audience. Though the film touches on this briefly, the film makes no attempt to explain the monster. This could certainly have been intentional on the Director's part, so that the audience may share the horrific feeling of facing something "unknown" and "powerful" yet the mystery leaves you more frustrated and confused in the end.

Aside from more "technical" problems in Cloverfield it's still not difficult to enjoy this movie. If all you want is visual eye candy, and nothing else, there's really no reason to cross this film off your list.

The problem just is, Cloverfield is just too similar to many films today. It does all the non-analytic things well, and lacks everything substantive.

-S

[EmmanuelYarb]

Originally Posted by Art_Wanderlei

Fuck this cloverfield hysteria, seriously. RAMBO is gonna bring back what movies are all about. Non stop action and walking out of that theater feeling totally satisfied in every way. Not asking a bunch questions, 'OMG does that thing destroy the whole world?' 'Was the whole movie just a 9/11 ****phor?'

No. The only question you should be asking at the end of RAMBO is what can I do to be more of a badass, like RAMBO!

yeah, and whats with all these TV shows right? Why won't they just play Walker Texas Ranger 24/7 Right!?! RIGHT?! and MTV should only play Slayer. RIGHT!?

[EmmanuelYarb]

but the movie is like a ride and totally benefits from the theater atmosphere and the amazing sound system of the theaters which essentially turns your seat into a rumblepack. Its cool to see it once at the movies. But never again, and definitely not on DVD.

[Soulbane]

Originally Posted by EmmanuelYarb

but the movie is like a ride and totally benefits from the theater atmosphere and the amazing sound system of the theaters which essentially turns your seat into a rumblepack. Its cool to see it once at the movies. But never again, and definitely not on DVD.

I agree, one hit theater wonder, if even that.

[Philosophighter]

I always appreciate the Mayberry reviews, fellas. I just cant wrap my head around 10.00 tickets for a 70-80 min. novelty flick like this. 5.00? Prolly, but it looks like a DVD'er so I can at least have my throw up bags handy after all that camera shaking makes me nauseous!