The "not putting girls on a pedestal" dilemma

Skyline21 · 05-12-2008, 06:09 PM

First off this is a general thread, not a help out in my girl situation thread. Im just lookin for opinions.

Ok so as we all know, its very very advisable to not put the girl you like on a pedestal and think of her as any better than you. I find that this attitude in general elicits a lot more respect from them and u generally dont get them trying to take u for a ride so to speak. However one problem arises for me lately is that by not putting them on a pedestal I end up having little or no respect for them and I find it very hard to really get into them. However I recently tried to ease off on it with a girl Id been seeing and almost turned into the spazz I used to be.

So my question to all u Mayberry lads that have some balls and dont put em on a pedestal, how do u maintain interest in these girls without becomming a joke of a man!?!

Decommissioner · 05-12-2008, 06:17 PM

This thread is going places..

n...not crazy · 05-12-2008, 06:19 PM

We can't help you have respect for a woman.. you respect her or you don't! If you aren't giving respect to respectable people, that's a problem. But if they don't deserve it, try to find someone who does.

"...having little or no respect for them..."
WHY?

markulous · 05-12-2008, 06:20 PM

Not putting them on a pedstal and not having respect for them are two completely different things.

Falc · 05-12-2008, 06:23 PM

I think what is happening, is when you are hearing don't put them on a pedestal, you are actively seeking to lower your opinions of them, where as, you will feel better if you raise your own opinion of yourself as a way to narrow the gap of what you think of them and what you think of yourself

i personally think, this chick has good taste, she is with me

Estemachine · 05-12-2008, 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by markulous

Not putting them on a pedstal and not having respect for them are two completely different things.

Exactly.

First off, if you can learn to love and respect yourself, then you can love and respect others.

Your problem is that you are being too edgy, you have to understand that a woman is not your priority, but at the same time, you need to respect her as a woman and as a human being. With that being said you need to maintain a balance, between being a jerk, and being nice at the same time.

Joking, teasing, getting on her nose, pulling and not giving away are different ways to keep them on their toes.

AdamG · 05-12-2008, 06:28 PM

If you don't think a woman is awesome, what' the point of going after her in the first place? My wife is the best chick I've ever met, and I'm not ashamed to tell her that.

The putting a chick on a pedestal thing pertains more to single guys and not groveling to women they are interested in. For my part, I've always just been myself and tried not to get involved with impressing women by acting like someone I'm not...

DeathNTaxes · 05-12-2008, 06:30 PM

I think you are misinterpreting the intent of the concept of "not putting women on the pedestal."

This idea is not about "disrespecting them" it is about not letting them get away with shit because you are moonstruck by the boobies or your perception of her virginal purity. You treat them well and with respect because you treat all women well and with respect.

The difference with the biznatch you are with and everyone else is YOU have chosen her and that is what makes her special she is not exceptional in and of herself.

Don't make girls out to be anything more then they are which is another flawed human being with negatives and positives.

**Foolkiller** · 05-12-2008, 06:35 PM

You can treat a girl well, just don't go out of your way for her. Don't trick yourself and be a doormat, picking up her tab for everything though, treat them as well as they deserve to be treated. The difference between a man and a spazz is the man puts himself first, the spazz puts the woman first. They won't respect you if you don't respect yourself and women don't want someone hanging over their shoulder most of the time, they want someone they can talk to their friends about and get some reassurance and affection from. Only if you've been with a girl for at least a year and are hitting it regularly should you start getting serious and putting them on any kind of pedestal, short term infatuation is nothing and a lot of women can get a lot of things from a lot of men by treating them all the same.

victorygrappler · 05-12-2008, 06:43 PM

The short answer is to start finding value in yourself. When you realize that you're a high value guy, girls get sucked into your reality, and they give you so much attention that it is YOU who gets to be on a pedestal in their eyes.

Another possibility is to get an "abundance mentality". If you're competent with women, then you really won't put any one in particular on a pedestal, because you'll know that if the girl youre with doesnt like you, you can go out, and get another one.