[Sanosuke]

This joke might have been posted before but oh well:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.


FOR EXAMPLE:


One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get
a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you... she was so excited.
She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear,
let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

[Toda Hiro-matsu]

nice. i chuckled.

[KrazyKanadian]

If that happens, it's time to break up with the bitch.

But it's pretty good, all in all.

[Toda Hiro-matsu]

Originally Posted by KrazyKanadian

If that happens, it's time to break up with the bitch.

You must be a Leykis fan.

[Cipher7]

Roflmao!

[X The Dude X]

As I was reading, I was saying to myself "what are you an idiot? Don't buy all that shit for her."

Then I got to your response and laughed my ass off. That move will definitely not get you any action for a few evenings, maybe even get you a ticket to sleep on the couch for tonight. But that was pretty damn awesome on your part, I give you props.

[KrazyKanadian]

Originally Posted by Toda Hiro-matsu

You must be a Leykis fan.

I'm a fan of not having to buy shit to get laid in a relationship. If you are, you may as well buy a hooker.

Sex is a big part of a relationship, and if she's trying to screw with your head already, why deal with it.

And, I haven't listened to Leykis in like, 7 years.

[Jay Pan ROKK]

Haha, good one.

[amhlilhaus]

so old, so funny

[Maker's_Mark]

I'll have to try that out someday