Help Me Overcome My Anxiety When Trying New Things

Lester Burnham · 06-09-2007, 05:26 PM

I'm starting to believe I may have anxiety problems. I'm scraping by with the bare minimum in school and only have about four friends, but I can live with that. However, I've been doing jiu-jitsu for the last few months, and I just can't get my head into it. I come in there so self-conscious, and feel like a complete fraud. I keep trying to figure out why I even signed up.

I'll wake up at eight in the morning and BJJ won't be until night, and I'll just be nervous about it all day. Things that frequently make me nervous are the warm-ups and drills. The warm-ups are very tough. I don't ever give up, but I'm just not in as good a shape as the other guys, and I get yelled at and feel embarrassed. And when we drill we take turns going against only a couple guys, so the whole class is on the side watching whoever is in. I get owned virtually every round and just feel like a fucking idiot. At open mat no one really acknowledges me. They're nice people, but they all have their friends and I just kinda sit on the side awkwardly trying to ask different people to roll with me, where I usually get the impression that they're merely tolerating me and nothing more. Its like when you play kickball and you're the last one picked. Only its shittier because I don't go home and watch cartoons like when I was six, I go back to my shitty dorm room and stare at the wall.

I had aspirations of getting good at BJJ, and I know it doesn't happen over night. But this self-consciousness and anxiety I'm fighting makes it impossible to go in there with a mind set where I'm able to stay calm and intelligently apply the techniques.

Envy · 06-09-2007, 05:48 PM

So you're the new kid in class. Get over it.

Look, getting owned is the name of the game, unless you're fucking Rickson. Everybody else progresses slow as balls and gets beat up on along the way. You haven't made any friends yet because you're new, and you're too self conscious. Just play nice and eventually the other kids will like you.

I think most people's BJJ experiences are similar. That's why everybody drops out during the first six months. Ride it out. You'll thank me later.

MT420MT · 06-09-2007, 07:02 PM

Take some private lessons.

Maximus · 06-09-2007, 07:07 PM

dont get yourself so worked up about it

just have fun doing it

Hichards · 06-09-2007, 07:09 PM

Dude if you're getting yelled at for being out of shape, then the guy's a complete asshole, call him out on it. Say you're here to get better and improve, get fitter etc. and as your trainer he should be helping, although some trainers will push you even if you're trying your hardest. The best advice is don't take it personally

Girljock · 06-09-2007, 07:42 PM

do you even.....like jujitsu? Maybe it's just not for you. If you do want to stick with it.....you need to change the way you think. Are people yelling words of embarrasment or words of encouragement? Are people not acknowleding you, or are they thinking about something else? Do they say they are simply tollertaing rolling with you, or is that what you assume? how do you know what they are thinking? You don't....

You have the power to decide your own impression of things. If you get embarrassed by things they say, thats' on you. You can be encouraged by the same words....the choice is yours. If you feel like an idiot getting ownded....that's your choice. You can also feel something like "wow...he just beat me, but I learned something from it" or something like that. You've got to change the way you think. Its not easy, but worth it.

$uperman · 06-09-2007, 07:51 PM

If you are getting owned in training, you must think that one day you will be as good as them. You just have to you keep training.

If you don't like BJJ, you can do an other good combat sport.

Reaper Man · 06-09-2007, 08:04 PM

Make friends with someone who knows what is going on. People love teaching (translation--love showing how awesome they are), as a general rule.

Woob · 06-09-2007, 08:15 PM

Well take some efforts out side of class to get your fitness levels up dude. then the warmups wont be so bad. this can also mean you are in better shape when you roll and do drills so you wont get pwned so bad. just relax and go with it.

I don't personally agree with some posters saying maybe it isnt for you. i would stick it out but thats me. maybe try and get some drills for home too to sharpen up your skills. practice arm bar dills by almost shadow subbing. and if they guy is a dickhead, go to a different class. there are plenty of good guys out there willing to give you a helping hand.

remember this 'if something is easy, it isn't worth doing' (this doesnt always apply but still good)

Lester Burnham · 06-09-2007, 09:32 PM

Thanks guys. Everyone is good people at my school, but they've all been together for a while, and its pretty hard to become friends with a lot of the guys this early on. You're right, attitude is everything. I need to look at things in a more positive light.