Have any of you been blindsided in a relationship?

[Depth]

You were going along, happy as can be in your relationship, and then one day, your partner breaks up with you, and while all along you thought everything was great. Or maybe you break off the relationship because of some cause?

Worse yet, have you caught your partner cheating or have you found out she did some dirt, like a donkey show, gangbang vid, bukkake, etc. and conveniently forgot to tell you.

I just broke up with a girl not too long ago, because I found out that 1 or 2 one night stands, in reality were really 9 or 10, plus she’s a NYC club girl, and we know how that goes. A mutual female friend is pissed at me for hurting the girl with a sudden and unexpected break up, but you have to have some ground rules as a person. I don’t really feel bad about it at all, withholding information is just as bad as lying in my back.

[Rampage Rua**]

Originally Posted by Depth

plus she’s a NYC club girl, and we know how that goes.

not sure what that means actually

[mofoj0e]

I think most guys get blindsided because of most choose to ignore bad signs or is just straight up not paying attention.

To me I can tell when a girl is losing interest by her actions or lack there of.

[Iosephus]

Originally Posted by Rampage Rua

not sure what that means actually

means he got a wicked amount of stds now

[Diplomatt]

You made the right choice by breaking up with her.

[GOMER113]

Cliff Notes version: Met a girl, got engaged, things were great, found out a few things, found out she was cheating.

Novel version: I met a girl online, met her in person about three weeks later, and then we were engaged two months later. Things were obviously going great at this point since we made this commitment. It wasn't exactly a long distance relationship, but she did live about an hour away (over two hours in traffic), so we didn't see each other except on the weekends. However, we did talk on the phone every night and every morning.

One subject of conversation that would come up a lot was her co-worker, Mike. Apparently, Mike had a huge crush on her and he knew she was engaged, but he still persisted in trying to get with her. She kept putting him off and telling him she's not interested and then one day, she didn't call me in the morning. She also didn't call me that evening. I thought nothing of it, so I waited to see what would happen the next day. Again, she didn't call me in the morning, so I called her later that evening. She didn't answer her phone. I paged her and she didn't call back.

I got bored and called up a buddy of mine to see if he'd want to hang out. We didn't have any ideas on what to do, so I told him what was going on with my girl and he said we should pay her a visit. I tried calling her again while we were on our way and she didn't pick up. I pulled up around the corner from her house and called one more time, still no answer. I called her from a payphone at the gas station where I was parked and, bingo, she answered.

I promptly hung up and called her again from my cell phone. When she picked up when I called from the payphone, she sounded like she normally sounds. When she picked up when I called from my cell, she sounded sleepy and groggy - acting like I woke her up. She gave me this BS story that her cousin is going through a tough time and that he's in the midst of getting a divorce and so she doesn't want to offend him by talking all lubby dubby to me on the phone while this guy's all miserable. She said he'll only be there a few weeks and then things will get back to normal between us.

I didn't buy it. I did some internet sleuthing over the next week and found a few things like e-mail addresses that she didn't tell me about. The problem was that I didn't find anything at all that proved that she was cheating on me, only some things that would give me reasonable suspicion. I found an e-mail survey that she had sent to Mike. It had questions like "Would you kiss me?", "Would you hug me?", "Would you date me?", etc. Then I found an MSN profile for her. It said she was single and it had been updated since we had gotten engaged. I then created a fake MSN profile and sent her an e-mail stating that I was interested in her and that we should get together. She didn't respond, but she did update her profile that night. Instead of "single" she was now "in a relationship" and she had mentioned "my man Mike" under a couple of categories.

I saw the changes the next day and asked my boss for the rest of the day off to take care of business. I stopped by at home and picked up all the stuff she had given me and boxed it all up. She had told me her schedule and also showed me the route she takes home, so I had a good idea of where I would run into her since she walked home from work. She wasn't there, so I thought she'd probably be home so I went there. Sure enough, she was sitting in her front yard, next to Mike, hand in hand. I approached the fence and she came up and asked me to give her ten minutes while she got rid of her friend.

I left and came back and she apologized and said she didn't want me to find out like this and that she thought it would be easier on me if she were to let me go slow and easy. I told her that she could've just said she didn't want to be with me anymore and I would've understood. She gave me back the ring and I went back to the store later that day to return it. Luckily for me, this happened two days before the 60-day return window expired.

[Enraged Mongol]

Originally Posted by GOMER113

Cliff Notes version: Met a girl, got engaged, things were great, found out a few things, found out she was cheating.

Novel version: I met a girl online, met her in person about three weeks later, and then we were engaged two months later. Things were obviously going great at this point since we made this commitment. It wasn't exactly a long distance relationship, but she did live about an hour away (over two hours in traffic), so we didn't see each other except on the weekends. However, we did talk on the phone every night and every morning.

One subject of conversation that would come up a lot was her co-worker, Mike. Apparently, Mike had a huge crush on her and he knew she was engaged, but he still persisted in trying to get with her. She kept putting him off and telling him she's not interested and then one day, she didn't call me in the morning. She also didn't call me that evening. I thought nothing of it, so I waited to see what would happen the next day. Again, she didn't call me in the morning, so I called her later that evening. She didn't answer her phone. I paged her and she didn't call back.

I got bored and called up a buddy of mine to see if he'd want to hang out. We didn't have any ideas on what to do, so I told him what was going on with my girl and he said we should pay her a visit. I tried calling her again while we were on our way and she didn't pick up. I pulled up around the corner from her house and called one more time, still no answer. I called her from a payphone at the gas station where I was parked and, bingo, she answered.

I promptly hung up and called her again from my cell phone. When she picked up when I called from the payphone, she sounded like she normally sounds. When she picked up when I called from my cell, she sounded sleepy and groggy - acting like I woke her up. She gave me this BS story that her cousin is going through a tough time and that he's in the midst of getting a divorce and so she doesn't want to offend him by talking all lubby dubby to me on the phone while this guy's all miserable. She said he'll only be there a few weeks and then things will get back to normal between us.

I didn't buy it. I did some internet sleuthing over the next week and found a few things like e-mail addresses that she didn't tell me about. The problem was that I didn't find anything at all that proved that she was cheating on me, only some things that would give me reasonable suspicion. I found an e-mail survey that she had sent to Mike. It had questions like "Would you kiss me?", "Would you hug me?", "Would you date me?", etc. Then I found an MSN profile for her. It said she was single and it had been updated since we had gotten engaged. I then created a fake MSN profile and sent her an e-mail stating that I was interested in her and that we should get together. She didn't respond, but she did update her profile that night. Instead of "single" she was now "in a relationship" and she had mentioned "my man Mike" under a couple of categories.

I saw the changes the next day and asked my boss for the rest of the day off to take care of business. I stopped by at home and picked up all the stuff she had given me and boxed it all up. She had told me her schedule and also showed me the route she takes home, so I had a good idea of where I would run into her since she walked home from work. She wasn't there, so I thought she'd probably be home so I went there. Sure enough, she was sitting in her front yard, next to Mike, hand in hand. I approached the fence and she came up and asked me to give her ten minutes while she got rid of her friend.

I left and came back and she apologized and said she didn't want me to find out like this and that she thought it would be easier on me if she were to let me go slow and easy. I told her that she could've just said she didn't want to be with me anymore and I would've understood. She gave me back the ring and I went back to the store later that day to return it. Luckily for me, this happened two days before the 60-day return window expired.

2 Months of a long distance relationship and then you got engaged?

You are an idiot.

[Rampage Rua**]

^^^ never go on online dating sites

edit: and i second the 2 month engagement thing, how old were you and what the hell were you thinking?

[GOMER113]

Originally Posted by Enraged Mongol

2 Months of a long distance relationship and then you got engaged?

You are an idiot.

That was six years ago, I saw all the warning signs, and didn't marry her, so I beg to differ.

However, I got back with my ex before this girl and married her, so yeah, you're right.

[GOMER113]

Originally Posted by Rampage Rua

^^^ never go on online dating sites

edit: and i second the 2 month engagement thing, how old were you and what the hell were you thinking?

I met this girl in a neutral chat room on AOL. I wasn't looking to hook up, or anything.

I was 20 and I obviously wasn't thinking.