Girl problem. This sucks!

sIcKnEsS · 08-04-2007, 02:35 PM

So I met this great girl at the gym, she's my age, 20. She boxes and does bjj which is great because finally someone who can relate to me going to the gym all the time to train. She's smart and going to the same university as me, she's in biochemistry.

So we talked a lot at the gym, on facebook, she called me a few times and said I should come hang out with her at her work Thursday, she works at a tanning salon. She said she worked 4-10 and that I should come by at 7 cause that's when customers don't come much. So I come by and she's all happy to see me and shit, I make her laugh a lot and we find out a lot more about each other that we like. I bring stuff to make smores since there's a microwave at her work and she loves smores and while we're making them in the backroom, I get really close to her, like behind her with my arms around her to help make them and head over her shoulder, I see her smiling. While eating them she gets on the dryer since it's the backroom for the store and she opens her legs and leans over a bit all sexy and shit. I was so into her at that point I was going to go start kissing her but somebody came in to the store and she had to go back to the front desk, after she closes the store she askes me if I want to hang out with her more and go meet her best friends so I say sure, we all go out to this restaurant, her friends love me and I continue to make everyone and her laugh. Afterwards when we're all standing outside she's leaning backwards onto my chest like she's my girlfriend which I want her to be. She drives me home at 3:30am which took her 30 mins since the metro was closed for my behalf. On the way home we're having great conversations and she asks if I have a girl and I say no, I ask her if she has a boy and she says no...then says its complicated but she doesn't think she does, I should have just kissed her then but I was too confused by what she just said.

I asked her the next morning what she meant cause I want her and she said said she was with the guy...I know the guy so I asked him and he said they're more like just seeing each other, I tell him to tell her so she can realize they are not together so I can get her since she seemed to really dig me. She told me though that he had gotten mad that she hung out with me, my friend told me later that this guy told him that her defence was I asked if I could come hang out with her at work lol, ya ya and I bet I asked to hang out afterwards too with her friends. What the fuck did she say that for, defending herself? The boyfriend said he doesn't know what to tell me, that maybe he'll tell her that they're not together so that I can have her or maybe he'll pursue her since she thinks he's her boy.

Her friend asked me to come hang out with them and go to a club and eat afterwards but I don't want too, I would be too embarssed since this girl knows I like her and I can't have her even though she really lead me on. What the fuck do I do about this girl? I want her but this guy has to tell her they're not together and that I'd be good for her. He said he'll see soon what he wants...till then I can't hang out with her in my head cause I'd look like a fool.

USAWrestler · 08-04-2007, 02:39 PM

That's a bitch that don't know what she wants'. What's gonna happen if she does decide to go with you and drop him in the future and another guy comes along and she likes him too? Choice time again for her, and a girl with choice time isn't a girl you wanna be with.

Liveforever67 · 08-04-2007, 02:51 PM

Take this into consideration.

If this is how your relationship is starting, how do you think it will end up?

IF she thinks she is with this guy and kissing you/leading you on while she thinks she has a BF..that gut reaction NOT to kiss her when she confused you with that "gray" area, that was logic telling you something.

If she cheated once with you...if you were with her she'd cheat on you too.

Play it cool, the easiest way to avoid drama & chaos in a relationship is to see the early warning signs of what you stepping into and avoid it.

You said "..but this guy has to tell her how great I'd be for her" any girl who doesnt know what she wants and is this confused in a situation like this...will be with you too.

YOU are not the fool in this situation...she lead YOU on...do you really think she didnt notice the connection forming? She lead you on aka did something wrong...so if you see her...understand that you are on the moral high ground here, in this situation you are the better person via her deceptive act.

MOST IMPORTANT

Any girl who doesnt want to be with you bad enough to commit to it, isnt a girl you want in your heart anyways.

Stay wise.

heavyduty · 08-04-2007, 03:03 PM

You made a wise decision I feel, my friend. When you said she spread her legs open while doing a sexy pose she probably wanted plowed in right fucking there, too. You might not ever get a chance like that again. Hit it and quit it I say, or jsut become friends. Good luck dude.

l00maniac420 · 08-04-2007, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liveforever67

Take this into consideration.

If this is how your relationship is starting, how do you think it will end up?

IF she thinks she is with this guy and kissing you/leading you on while she thinks she has a BF..that gut reaction NOT to kiss her when she confused you with that "gray" area, that was logic telling you something.

If she cheated once with you...if you were with her she'd cheat on you too.

Play it cool, the easiest way to avoid drama & chaos in a relationship is to see the early warning signs of what you stepping into and avoid it.

You said "..but this guy has to tell her how great I'd be for her" any girl who doesnt know what she wants and is this confused in a situation like this...will be with you too.

YOU are not the fool in this situation...she lead YOU on...do you really think she didnt notice the connection forming? She lead you on aka did something wrong...so if you see her...understand that you are on the moral high ground here, in this situation you are the better person via her deceptive act.

MOST IMPORTANT

Any girl who doesnt want to be with you bad enough to commit to it, isnt a girl you want in your heart anyways.

Stay wise.

nail on the head

NHB7 · 08-04-2007, 03:18 PM

I think thats kind of cruel of her to play with both of your emotions that way, but a lot of young chicks do that. Heck a lot of young guys do that to chicks. Anyway, you are handling it pretty right. Don't hang out with her for a while. If she contacts you say you are busy. You don't want to look like you are sitting at home waiting for her decision. Just say something like, "Awww, a movie sounds like it would have been fun. But I already made plans to go to dinner with my friend Jessica." Then she sees your not focusing just on her, just like she isn't focusing just on you. Anyway, she sounds like a big time flirt and my guess is she would continue to be a flirt in your relationship if you ever have one with her, so make sure you can handle that.

Does she break 5 or more of these 11 red flags by the way: NHB7's Guide to: Alright you got her, but should you keep her?

NHB7 · 08-04-2007, 03:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liveforever67

Any girl who doesnt want to be with you bad enough to commit to it, isnt a girl you want in your heart anyways.

Stay wise.

This is pretty damn true. I take girls out frequently and I do it because I like to take out cute girls and flirt cuz its fun. But man, when I'm into one, I know it. I don't say, "Well, I'm interested in starting something, but I took out Samantha last weekend." Fuck know, I no I like this chick and I go for it.

P.S. after you read the 11 red flags, I just want to say that as soon as I read your thread, big red flags were jumping around in my head.

**TheBigS** · 08-04-2007, 03:23 PM

She sounds like trouble from what you are describing. Either that or just a big tease. Either way, its okay to keep that option open, but I also would go into it, if you do pursue her, with an honest and realistic understanding of how she might act with you (e.g. the dishonesty, etc...)

NHB7 · 08-04-2007, 03:25 PM

It also partially seems like she used you to make her other guy committ more.

I mean she basically said, "I'm available to you unless this other guy says he is willing to committ to a serious relationship. But if he isn't, you are totally my SECOND choice."

And now you are waiting for that guys permission. Fuck that. He doesn't want to lose her to you even if he isn't into her, just a pride thing.

wvboy · 08-04-2007, 03:41 PM

Don't play second fiddle to anybody. If you're not her first choice, then she isn't worth it. Also, I wouldn't get involved with somebody at the same gym as me. If you broke up, it would lead to a weird atmosphere when you work out. Then again, that's just my opinion.