[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by thoughtsone

He brings up divorce because it has to be thought about in todays culture. Also there are 2 people in the relationship not just Bobby. Also this chick has a history of looking down on him, ignoring him, demeaning him etc... Calling him out for making less then her or something like that. Those are tells that the relationship is going to fail and a kid is not going to save it. Sure he says he loves her and is going to get married but not 3 months ago he was saying he should dump her. The whole context of the scenario screams either infidelity, stupidity or misguidedness.

I come on here and complain about little problems we have when I'm still pissed off about them. Its my way of cooling down basically. These problems seemed huge because I was still pissed about them when I wrote the threads, but in reality in a few hours I calmed down and everything was better.

On the other hand, I'm not asking my girlfriend whom I love dearly to take a fucking paternity test. She loves me and I love her. She isn't cheating on me. I don't need a paternity test.

And to everyone that says she stopped taking the pill to "trap me"...we were already talking about marriage well before the baby, and that's what we planned on doing, and now she wants to wait to get married. Doesn't seem like a very effective trap.

[WrestlingNerd]

Maybe she didn't want you to have any second thoughts. A little insurance for a marriage. Don't think that I'm insulting your girlfriend/mother of your unborn baby here but some people are complete scum in this world.

[thoughtsone]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

I come on here and complain about little problems we have when I'm still pissed off about them. Its my way of cooling down basically. These problems seemed huge because I was still pissed about them when I wrote the threads, but in reality in a few hours I calmed down and everything was better.

On the other hand, I'm not asking my girlfriend whom I love dearly to take a fucking paternity test. She loves me and I love her. She isn't cheating on me. I don't need a paternity test.

And to everyone that says she stopped taking the pill to "trap me"...we were already talking about marriage well before the baby, and that's what we planned on doing, and now she wants to wait to get married. Doesn't seem like a very effective trap.

I understand that but 1st question to you directly is 1) how long have you been dating (if you already said that I missed it) 2) How are you going to support a kid making the money you do now 3) Regardless if you were talking marriage or not, where you talking kids? Cuz thats a whole different issue.

I am just curious because it seems to me that you are making a bad decision, however you never know it could turn out great. I just am saying think with logic not emotion or morals.

[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by WrestlingNerd

Maybe she didn't want you to have any second thoughts. A little insurance for a marriage. Don't think that I'm insulting your girlfriend/mother of your unborn baby here but some people are complete scum in this world.

and my girl isn't one of them. I have only known her for about a year, but I have talked to her extensively, and some of my good friends have known her for quite some time. She is a great girl and is definitely NOT a fake bitch. She is worried sick about this baby, and she is very compassionate, there is no way she did this to herself on purpose.

Anyone that thinks these things without knowing any details has some serious underlying issues regarding women.

[w0cyru01]

Why would she "trap" someone under her?

I thought the whole point of women trapping men was men that were better economically then them?

[thoughtsone]

Originally Posted by w0cyru01

Why would she "trap" someone under her?

I thought the whole point of women trapping men was men that were better economically then them?

I don't think she is, but some women do it for emotional, or control issues it can have nothing to do with money. The Economical thing and marriage is some leykis shit that is overplayed. Women dont always try for money, sometimes its looks, economic stability, emotional stability, fear of being alone, fear of the future etc.

[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by thoughtsone

I understand that but 1st question to you directly is 1) how long have you been dating (if you already said that I missed it) 2) How are you going to support a kid making the money you do now 3) Regardless if you were talking marriage or not, where you talking kids? Cuz thats a whole different issue.

I am just curious because it seems to me that you are making a bad decision, however you never know it could turn out great. I just am saying think with logic not emotion or morals.

I have only been dating her since december, but we have been talking about marriage for a few months already. She is the one, and I know it. Also, call me stupid, but I know in my heart, through things that have been revealed to me, that God wants me to be with her. Things just fell into place for this to happen, and it is happening for a reason.

I am going to get a new job, full time somewhere, hopefully with benefits. If not I will pick up another part time job and try to make some good money. Right now my girl is making a lot of money (25 an hour) and she is going to keep this job as long as possible. We are moving back into my parents house to save money (and it will be A LOT that we are saving). Also, her family definitely has money, and if we ever are struggling, they can help. My parents could do the same if they had to. Hopefully it won't come to that though.

And we were talking about having kids and starting a family, we just didn't think it would happen this quickly.

And what do you mean I'm making a bad decision? As in not getting it aborted or something? I could never forgive myself for that. Most selfish thing I ever heard. Might as well just kill the baby when it pops out, because its pretty much the same thing to me.

[thoughtsone]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

I have only been dating her since december, but we have been talking about marriage for a few months already. She is the one, and I know it. Also, call me stupid, but I know in my heart, through things that have been revealed to me, that God wants me to be with her. Things just fell into place for this to happen, and it is happening for a reason.

I am going to get a new job, full time somewhere, hopefully with benefits. If not I will pick up another part time job and try to make some good money. Right now my girl is making a lot of money (25 an hour) and she is going to keep this job as long as possible. We are moving back into my parents house to save money (and it will be A LOT that we are saving). Also, her family definitely has money, and if we ever are struggling, they can help. My parents could do the same if they had to. Hopefully it won't come to that though.

And we were talking about having kids and starting a family, we just didn't think it would happen this quickly.

And what do you mean I'm making a bad decision? As in not getting it aborted or something? I could never forgive myself for that. Most selfish thing I ever heard. Might as well just kill the baby when it pops out, because its pretty much the same thing to me.

Your moral beliefs are yours alone, I cannot comment on them. I just have been in love many times and thought many girls were the one, but only the girl I am currently dating which I have been with for 8 years is even close to what I would consider marriage material. I would suggest really getting to know this girl regardless of what "God" showed you or how much you think you know, at least 3 years is a good timeframe in my eyes. 1 year imho is not enough to justify a child or marriage. I would abort the child if I had any doubt on our relationship, the ability to raise a child, or the ability to care for it. I know myself though and I know what I can and cannot do, at this point of my life I cannot afford a child and still live the way I would like. Its murder to some, and not to others. To me its silly to not think of all the options, selfish or not, but that is just me. I do understand your religious or moral guidelines in your life so I can see that abortion is not an option.

When I say bad decision I mean having a child with someone you barely know, you can tell me you know her all you want but you cannot know ANYONE in a one year span. Again this is just my opinion on the situation, it is good you have a plan to save money and raise the kid and I hope you are happy. I would not have done what you did, but again I have no issues "murdering" children anyway.

[X The Dude X]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

I have only been dating her since december, but we have been talking about marriage for a few months already. She is the one, and I know it. Also, call me stupid, but I know in my heart, through things that have been revealed to me, that God wants me to be with her. Things just fell into place for this to happen, and it is happening for a reason.

I am going to get a new job, full time somewhere, hopefully with benefits. If not I will pick up another part time job and try to make some good money. Right now my girl is making a lot of money (25 an hour) and she is going to keep this job as long as possible. We are moving back into my parents house to save money (and it will be A LOT that we are saving). Also, her family definitely has money, and if we ever are struggling, they can help. My parents could do the same if they had to. Hopefully it won't come to that though.

And we were talking about having kids and starting a family, we just didn't think it would happen this quickly.

And what do you mean I'm making a bad decision? As in not getting it aborted or something? I could never forgive myself for that. Most selfish thing I ever heard. Might as well just kill the baby when it pops out, because its pretty much the same thing to me.

Some people will diss others that move too quickly and move forward at a fast pace, which no offense you and your girl have done. But if you know deep down that she's the one for you and vice versa, that's all that matters man. I believe shit happens for a reason. Every relationship goes thru its ups and downs. I've read a majority of your threads you've posted, the ones where you asked advice about how to handle certain situations, and the ones where you've talked about friends and now your upcoming child. I don't know you or her personally, but it sounds like you two click and meld in a certain way, and that's good. You two aren't together simply because of looks or lust or money, those are the things that drive relationships and marriages into the gutter, at least in my opinion.

I do suggest that you find a better and higher/paying job. Preferably one with benefits and set in stone hours. Balancing two jobs, its not impossible, but with a girl and child, that shit will be very hard. If I could just throw out a suggestion, look for an office job. I know you've said you don't have a college degree, but those office jobs are out there and available for the grabbing. Pay will be better than what you're making now, you'll have a set schedule, a 9-5 type thing, and benefits, sick leave, vacation time, etc. And if you're wanting to start a family all those things are what you should be looking for with a job.

You say both of your families have money and are willing to help you out. That's nice security to have don't get me wrong, but you don't want to go that route. In dire need, sure, but the two of you should strive to support your own needs.

I'm with you as far as the anti-abortion things goes. The only time I think abortion is ok is in the case of a rape, that's the only time I'd really ok that. But you and her wanting to stick it out and have the child, that's the right thing. It'll be a very huge life changing experience.

We all have our problems, and I'm sure the child and marriage issue will present more problems to you in the future. But keep your head screwed on correctly, do your best, and follow what you believe, and it'll all be good in the long run. I'll crack jokes here and there, but I'm pulling for you man. I come from a broken family with two parents that would love to put a bullet into the others ones head, and I don't wish that shit upon my worst enemy. Definitely marry this girl if you believe its the right thing, which I believe you do. Don't listen to any time table that someone gives you for the marriage though, the two of you will know the right time and place to go about that.

[devante]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

Basically, my parents have been pressuring me to do this. I don't really see a point. If I already conceived a child out of wedlock, then what's the point of getting married before the baby is born. It's not going to fool anyone, you know what I mean. If anyone thinks about the dates, they will know we got married because we conceived a baby out of wedlock. So what is the point.

The way I see it my parents are falling victim to some sort of stupid sense of morality (that makes no sense) and societal norms. We are going to get married eventually, but not right away, and not because thats "what we are supposed to do."

My parents brought up the fact that a lot of people are going to talk (and they were talking about themselves, and not really about my girlfriend and I.) They were saying "we are so involved in the church, blah blah blah, everyone is going to talk about it." And to be honest, I have to say its pretty selfish to say stuff like that. I think its actually a big part about what my parents think about this is what friends, family, and strangers are going to think about THEM. Well you know, this isn't about them.

I don't know, do you guys have an opinion on these things?

not a good idea, a kid does not fix dev or maintain relationships; it puts a strain on them, so if u and said person arent together or moving in that direction i SUGGEST u not jump into anything.

utnil u and that person decide u want one another