[ElKarlo]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

I don't have to tell my church shit, hahahahaha. I guess I'm a Catholic, but a lot of my beliefs differ from the church's.

Honestly, I know in my heart that I am a very moral person, I don't need to follow a church's guidelines to know what is right and wrong.

Then don't let other's people moral pressure you into making possibly the most important decision in your life.

[Mrs Biohazard]

When my cousin was 17 she and her boyfriend had a baby. They are still not married, but live together, and are very happy that way. They have a beautiful son, and things are really good for them. So, whether you get married or not, just so long as you are happy and your baby is loved, then it really doesn't matter.

[Horus]

I have a close friend who got married when his girlfriend got intentionally pregnant, in order to trap him. She knew she was onto a good thing and in an effort to make sure he didn't leave, got pregnant.

He got married and she controls his life on an absolutely ridiculous level. She knows he will do anything for his kids and she plays on that, sometimes threatening to take off with his kids if he doesn't fold on some things.

He quietly accepts it.

I'm not saying don't get married. Just do it for the right reasons.

[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by 2short

What's in you AV?

Weed. I used to smoke but I quit a day or two before new years, and a couple weeks later I quit drinking, so I have been completely sober for 5 months, and I plan on keeping it that way, but I still love admiring the work of a quality grower.

[WrestlingNerd]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

I thought the pill was pretty good. I guess not.

Maybe she quit taking it to trap you.

[SchoolyardChoke]

Marriage and conception are two mutually exclusive events.

4 out of every 10 marriages end in divorce nowadays. Don't get married just because you feel like you have to 'man up.'

Happily unmarried couple > unhappily married couple.

Take things slowly...if you are meant to marry, then it will happen. If it's not meant to happen, then don't force it.

[gasguzzler]

Originally Posted by WrestlingNerd

Maybe she quit taking it to trap you.

This is what I'm thinking.

And DrSatan, most people don't agree with people like us ("old-fashioned")anymore, so I think you're fighting a losing battle.

[chardog]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

Basically, my parents have been pressuring me to do this. I don't really see a point. If I already conceived a child out of wedlock, then what's the point of getting married before the baby is born. It's not going to fool anyone, you know what I mean. If anyone thinks about the dates, they will know we got married because we conceived a baby out of wedlock. So what is the point.

The way I see it my parents are falling victim to some sort of stupid sense of morality (that makes no sense) and societal norms. We are going to get married eventually, but not right away, and not because thats "what we are supposed to do."

My parents brought up the fact that a lot of people are going to talk (and they were talking about themselves, and not really about my girlfriend and I.) They were saying "we are so involved in the church, blah blah blah, everyone is going to talk about it." And to be honest, I have to say its pretty selfish to say stuff like that. I think its actually a big part about what my parents think about this is what friends, family, and strangers are going to think about THEM. Well you know, this isn't about them.

I don't know, do you guys have an opinion on these things?

if you're gonna get married anyways, why wait? if you want rights to your baby, then get married. If you dont plan on marrying this chick, then stop wasting your time with her. You're about to have a kid, and that's serious business.

[Forbiden1]

DrSatan has some very valid points and some good quotes to back it up.

The thing is this situation is funky. I can only imagine how I would react, and well to be honest the first idea that would come to my head was abortion (although I'm not careless enough to shoot my load inside the woman so I probably wouldnt even be in this situation, even when my girl was on the pill as tempted as I was I never shot inside) then marriage if it was inevitable that the child was going to be born.

Satan honor goes along away and has different aspects, imagine waking up 20 years from now knowing you married someone only because of this reason and hate yourself later for doing it, or have the marriage dissolve, it would of all been for an image or a sense of honor that was really masked behind pride. There is no honor in that, and there is no honor in having a baby that wasn't planned. Situations like this are what they are and shouldn't be glorified.

You make very good points, but your sense of blind honor is something reminiscent of a quote from the departed. "Im Irish I can live with something being wrong my whole life" - That is definately not the quality of life I want any part of, an I think the consensus would agree.

Bobby w.e. you do think it through carefully, Marriage should be a lifetime commitment, if there are any doubts then you should through them all into the equation. Remember not to long ago, you were mad at the way she would talk to you (I dont remember exactly but something to the effect of talking down to you @ work?) Do you think you can live with that and probably a more intense version of that when your married?

[Pillbox Joe]

If you had a kid out of wedlock and you get married and it sucks, get over it. You had a kid out of wedlock, you have to deal with the problems. Get married and do the right thing for your kid instead of yourself for once in your life.