[Foolkiller]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

Financially, my girl and I don't have our shit together. Morally, emotionally, and spiritually I think we do though. We have our heads in the right place for this, and I know we are going to be good parents.

If you are even considering getting married for their sake of a child you can't financially support while you lack the life experience to serve as a decent role model and father to, which given your current predicament suggests you need a lot more of, you are digging your hole even deeper. If you are against abortion, I'd suggest considering adoption because if you have no money, no home and no career, you really aren't in the position to responsibly raise a child if you aren't even capable of being independent and responsible yourself.

[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by Oblivian

I've stayed out of this debate for a while. From an outsider's view, here is my take. I didn't read this entire thread but I got the impression that your stance among others was to "man up" and take responsibility by having the child and getting married. This logic goes with the thinking, "What is best for the child?" An explanaition would be people argue that the child would fair best with a mom and dad as husband and wife. The same goes with Bobby getting helped out financially. This isn't about making Bobby's life easier, but it's to make the child's life better.
With that being said, if you read my above posts, I think Bobby is pathetic. He is not capable of being financially responsible? He needs to be taking on two jobs right now while he looks for a CAREER. He needs to rethink posting about such personal matters. If his "future wife" reads his previous posts, she'd probably divorce his dumbass. He needs to grow up.
Personally, I don't think he's responsible enough financially or personally to have a kid at this moment. But shit happens. If he wants to have the kid, he will. If he wants to get married, he will. Hopefully he changes his life around for the kid's well being.

The ole' judge someone's life by what they talk about on forums. Please spare me with this bullshit.

[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by Foolkiller

If you are even considering getting married for their sake of a child you can't financially support while you lack the life experience to serve as a decent role model and father to, which given your current predicament suggests you need a lot more of, you are digging your hole even deeper. If you are against abortion, I'd suggest considering adoption because if you have no money, no home and no career, you really aren't in the position to responsibly raise a child if you aren't even capable of being independent and responsible yourself.

I'm not giving my child to adoption. Please, my girl and I will be pulling in more money than A TON of people around the country. Poor ass people have babies all the time. And lots of them. I will stay at my parents house until I get up on my feet, living for free, then I'm going to go back to school and get a degree and look for a real job.

How many people have babies on welfare? A lot of those babies turn out to be healthy, but might not be the best because of their surroundings. Except my baby will be surrounded by suburban upper middle class. The baby isn't going to starve, we are always going to have diapers and really anything we need.

[jdm_boy]

It's EVEN WORSE if you marry because of the reason of having a child. Having a child out of wedlock is not a valid reason to marry. It should be because the parents LOVE eachother. Using a child is a poor excuse, and it should not be used as leverage for two adults to marry. My bestfriend did that because of his MORAL obligations to our traditions, and he ended up separating months later because he was cheated on. THat's even worse for a child to encounter.

[Sportman]

My parents hate each other for as long as I can remember and lived in the same house despite this.

It is supposedly in the emotional interests of the child to do this. I really don't see how. What is worse, maybe a few months of sadness and readjustment, or years and years of awkwardness and walking around your own home like its on eggshells.

[Toujourpret]

Horrible idea. John Wooden said "the best thing a man can do for his children is love their mother". If you seriously will hate her living with her then it is a bad deal for them as well as for you.

[cmburns]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

I'm not giving my child to adoption. Please, my girl and I will be pulling in more money than A TON of people around the country. Poor ass people have babies all the time. And lots of them. I will stay at my parents house until I get up on my feet, living for free, then I'm going to go back to school and get a degree and look for a real job.
How many people have babies on welfare? A lot of those babies turn out to be healthy, but might not be the best because of their surroundings. Except my baby will be surrounded by suburban upper middle class. The baby isn't going to starve, we are always going to have diapers and really anything we need.

dude, you are so naive its not even funny. you are trying to make the point that poor people have babies all the time so it's ok for you to make the same mistake? like wtf!?

where the fuck do you think all the crime comes from? poor ass families that don't know how to raise kids. that's where!

you think its OK for you to be raising a child at a time in your life when YOU'RE STILL LIVING WITH YOUR PARENTS!?

get your shit together.

[cmburns]

there's a lot more to raising kids then them being physically healthy dude.

i was raised in a house FILLED with food but my step dad was a douche and treated me like shit. caused a lot of problems for me and my family. but thats alright, as long as they're healthy its OK!?

[Sportman]

This poster is probably my favourite mod gimmick btw.

[Oblivian]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

The ole' judge someone's life by what they talk about on forums. Please spare me with this bullshit.

It's not your opinions in debates, comments in other people's threads, etc. that gets to me. Read your previous posts about your baby's mama and ask yourself if you really love her. I would never think those things about my girlfriend and even if I did, I wouldn't post them for the public to see. Again, ask yourself if you would let her read what you post. Are you going to talk behind her back when she's your wife? That's very morally correct....

It's easy to see you are a confused, immature kid. You just stopped drinking and smoking pot from doing it all the time, correct? Good for you, but it shows you are somewhat maturing from 5 months ago. You work at a pizza joint where you constantly have "work feuds", correct? Grow the fuck up and get out of there. You think working part time and mooching off your parents is mature, correct? Grow up.

Are you really this clueless? Read all of those things to yourself and see what kind of picture it paints to you. Ask your baby's mama to read your posts and see what she thinks.... You can "spare me the bullshit" of saying I can't form an opinion on your life by posting on forums. You are the one begging for opinions by posting your questions about your ridiculous situations. You've given me more than enough ammo to form an opinion on you.

Again, I'm not trying to personally attack you too hard. I'm trying to give you a wake up call that you need to seriously alter your life if you are getting married and having a kid.