[Plissken]

If you don't love her, don't get married, simple as that. it's not liek you cannot support the child and regularly go over and provide fatherhood to the kid..

[sylaxRKO]

Originally Posted by Happy Boy

Although morality is on the decline, it hasn't gone away just yet.

I'm a christian person as well but I feel like this is something we have to stop doing looking down on people for things like this.

Have the kid and who knows it might bring you closer together and you decide to get married.

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by freestyle raw

i repsect both of you guys for being there as a lot of guys just disappear and dont even send a check.......


as far as abortion goes, last time a i checked its legal and up to the woman to decide, so she made a decision and i have to live with. do i feel like my life and hers are better off for it?

YES

I am single and running my own business having the time of my life watching MMA playing golf..........

she is married to the man of her dreams with a baby on the way.


does this make me a bad person?

Well now it sounds as though you've read people's thoughts on what you did re abortion and are trying to distance yourself from your responsibility in the decision.

Originally Posted by freestyle raw

so she made a decision and i have to live with

So now she made the decision and you had nothing to do with it? Seriously?

As for the rest, again, once you are happy playing golf and watching MMA then it doesn't matter what you've done to a young life, that's what the modern moral consensus dictates and you've obviously signed onto that, good man.

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by YeahBee

Morality give me a frekkin break more like prudeness and hypocrazy

If they are a happy couple waht does it matter if some dude in a funny hat and collar has said they are together or not?

I am born out of wedlock, my parents had been together for over ten years when I was born and are still toghter 24 years later

Bob is a Christian so throughout this thread Ive been giving him advice in light of this. Hence as he is a Christian, and after all he and his situation is who this thread is about, it matters a lot "if some dude in a funny hat and collar has said they are together or not?".

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by YeahBee

Oh noes my parents were acctual normal human beings that had sex before marriage

So you're saying abstinent people are somehow not normal human beings? I'd like to hear an explanation for this gem.

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by sylaxRKO

I'm a christian person as well but I feel like this is something we have to stop doing looking down on people for things like this.

Have the kid and who knows it might bring you closer together and you decide to get married.

You may feel that, but as a Christian what you think isn't important as, as a Christian, what you feel isn't meant to be your moral compass.

Or do you not agree? Does your thoughts and opinions somehow supersede Jesus'?

[YeahBee]

Originally Posted by Happy Boy

So you're saying abstinent people are somehow not normal human beings? I'd like to hear an explanation for this gem.

Well you see I come from the most atheist country in the world I owuld say that 99% of us loose our virginity before marriage

I don't know a single person that stayed virgin until they were married, maybe one or two muslim girls from high shcool (but I know some of them partied behind thier parents back and wasn't so innocent)

You shouldn't guiltrip people hwo have sex before marriage, sex is a wonderful thing between consenting humans (consenting that knows waht they do for some it may be 14, 18 etc etc) why deprive yourself of that until you get married? Some people you just want to have sex with not marry

it is also nice to have a few partners under your belt, get a little inspiration from differnt angles,

Some people doesn't even work together with sex, wouoldn't it be nice to start working on that earleier then marriage to get it sorted as soon as possible? and don't get a suprsie when you have built up your wedding night to be spectacular?

[theganjaman]

I know the feeling man. My grandparents and parents(as well as hers) are pressuring me and my girl into mariage right now as well. Don't listen to them, don't get married.

UNTIL THE TIME IS RIGHT!

[YeahBee]

Originally Posted by chardog

more misconceptions: married couples stay together for a long time out of fear/guilt and remain unhappy/unsatisfied.

That's divorce assumption. People assume that once stuck in an unhappy situation, you have two choices:

1. Divorce and be happy

2. Stay married and and be miserable.

they often include the third option:

3. Make you're marriage work and you'll be happy.

They also believe that option 1 is true. But it's not.

A good article on divorce vs unhappily married couples: Unhappy Marriage Better vs Divorce

Well for starters I didn't rrread the article I msut be going to bed soon but...

I have worked with and arund children for 10 years (, coaching on and off, work related traing and temping) I cna spot children that are unhappy with the home situation (not to mention seeing parents argue when picking droppoing of theirs) I can also see relief when a divorce is final and it has settled in and of course the sadness when it is going on, aswell as the happiness and/or the sadness when a parent has found someone new

Alotta kids go thru a faze when the want their parents back together, but it is passing

Of course you should work on it, there was love at some point (otherwise there isn't much to work on) d but at some point a divorce is the final asnswer, you most definitly shouldn't stay together because a "man in a funny hat and collar" says so

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by YeahBee

Well you see I come from the most atheist country in the world I owuld say that 99% of us loose our virginity before marriage

I don't know a single person that stayed virgin until they were married, maybe one or two muslim girls from high shcool (but I know some of them partied behind thier parents back and wasn't so innocent)

You shouldn't guiltrip people hwo have sex before marriage, sex is a wonderful thing between consenting humans (consenting that knows waht they do for some it may be 14, 18 etc etc) why deprive yourself of that until you get married? Some people you just want to have sex with not marry

it is also nice to have a few partners under your belt, get a little inspiration from differnt angles,

Some people doesn't even work together with sex, wouoldn't it be nice to start working on that earleier then marriage to get it sorted as soon as possible? and don't get a suprsie when you have built up your wedding night to be spectacular?

I'll say it again, Bob is a Christian, Christians are meant to wait for marriage, this thread is about Bob, hence I told Bob the Christian position. Nothing more, no guilt or judgment or anything else.

I've had this with others, but I'll say it here just for the record. Waiting for marriage, in my view and the view of many other Christians, hugely increases the stability of a relationship. The emotional groundwork is in place before the physicalities begin, nothing is based on superficialness, and this is a great strength builder for a couple. I think over the course of a marriage two folks can work out how to have sex after they waited!!

For me, its made me respect my woman a LOT more. Before I was a Christian I used to go home with girls, and it made me lose all respect for them, I looked on them as slags behind all the flattery I'd say to get them to bed. This hasn't happened with my fiancee, I respect her as a person so much more because of the way we have done it.