[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by freestyle raw

i personally would not want to ever be in a the position to have to man up, and if i was i would man up but that is why i am careful with women and sex so i never have to make that decision....again

...... i was dating/living with a woman who i figured out i couldnt stand after three months and right at that time she got pregnant, she aborted, now a year later we laugh at how miserable we would have been and how miserable we were. she is now happily married and pregnant and having it living her dreams we are great friends now.

Good thing you killed your first born because you didn't want it to ruin your life.

[bobbylight]

Originally Posted by markulous

Don't get married because of a kid. Only get married to her if you are really in love.

I grew up in a broken home and I've been around lots of people who either got married because of kids or were afraid to divorce because of kids. I think it screws up the kids even more when their parents don't get along and are forced to live with eachother. There's nothing wrong with not getting married as long as you man up and be a good father.

You grew up in a broken home?? According to freestyle raw it would have been better if your parents aborted you. You know, so you wouldn't ruin their lives.........

Anyone that is mentioning abortion I cannot respect at all. This is my child, and I'm not a fucking child. I'm not 14 and living in poverty. My girlfriend and I are perfectly capable of raising a child, and we will do it well. One of my best friends told me that he was born in a very similar fashion when his parents were about my age. Man, too bad they didn't do the "smart" thing and abort him. He is perhaps one of the nicest and genuine people I know, but according to you guys he should have been aborted.

You don't abort a baby because it messes things up in your life. You man up, take responsibility for your actions, and you live your life. It might be hard, it might seem like too much, but when your child says "I love you dad" it will all be fucking worth it.

Anyone saying my girl wasn't taking the pill, and that I should get a paternity test almost definitely has a serious trust issue with women. I know my girl, I spend ALL my time together, we love each other dearly, she is about to give me her car, only her name is on the lease of the apartment, if I were to leave her because I found out she cheated all that would be gone. The car would be mine and there would be nothing she could do about it, and she would have to pay her rent all by herself. If somehow she was cheating, do you really think that she would leave me to completely screw her over if I found out and left??

Serious problems with trust. And serious problems with morals if you recommend an abortion when I have said that my girl and I can provide for the baby in a loving way. What the fuck is wrong with you people. Seriously.

[Happy Boy]

Dr.SD and I were talking about this too Bob, some serious wimps here masquerading as men.

You hit the nail on the head, selfishness, people from what I've seen dont get abortions for the sake of the child, its so they dont have to deal with it. All of them grown up enough to have full sexual relations with someone, as soon as the consequences come about its suddenly victim complex and "were not ready for that yet" as they are obviously too busy having fun to take responsibility for their actions.

[endurance]

Originally Posted by Happy Boy

The kid will find out at somepoint that he/she was born outside of marriage, its how he/she finds out and what Bob decides to do with this information thats important and how he presents it.

I do not think marriage matters its just knowing you where mde by two people that love each other. I think being a good father doesnt mean geting married. If I was Bobby I would proballly get married

[Timetravel_0]

Get married for the right reasons, saving face is not a good reason.

I got married out of wedlock a few years ago. My wife and I dated for about a year in a rollercoaster relationship. We often would break up for a couple of weeks at a time then get back together. The last time we broke up we both thought it was for good and had been the longest we had been broken up until a late period and positive pregnancy test. She told me over the phone and came over to my place. Me, being raised in a religious household and somewhat old-fashioned immediately told her that we had to get married. I just felt that was the proper progression of the situation. Even, my religious family was telling me that I didnt have to marry her. We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary but I can honestly say I wasnt ready to be married at that point. The first year was extremely tough for me. It was more culture shock than anything. I was a bachelor making good money doing whatever I wanted to suddenly having an instant family (two stepkids) and answering to someone else. I have a good marriage and love my wife and she loves me but, honestly, there are some times where I do wonder if my wife is truly the right one for me. I'm also seeing a therapist right now to get to the bottom of this.

However, the most important thing about my situation is my daughter. She is the most incredible and inspiring thing to ever happen to me. Children truly are a gift and I couldnt imagine my life without her.

[AZ BJJ]

Originally Posted by bobbylight

Basically, my parents have been pressuring me to do this. I don't really see a point. If I already conceived a child out of wedlock, then what's the point of getting married before the baby is born. It's not going to fool anyone, you know what I mean. If anyone thinks about the dates, they will know we got married because we conceived a baby out of wedlock. So what is the point.

The way I see it my parents are falling victim to some sort of stupid sense of morality (that makes no sense) and societal norms. We are going to get married eventually, but not right away, and not because thats "what we are supposed to do."

My parents brought up the fact that a lot of people are going to talk (and they were talking about themselves, and not really about my girlfriend and I.) They were saying "we are so involved in the church, blah blah blah, everyone is going to talk about it." And to be honest, I have to say its pretty selfish to say stuff like that. I think its actually a big part about what my parents think about this is what friends, family, and strangers are going to think about THEM. Well you know, this isn't about them.

I don't know, do you guys have an opinion on these things?

It's not about your parents. It's about you, your girl, and most importantly, your kid. Man, the first time you lay eyes on your kid, the world changes. It really does become all about them. Unless you're a dick . Anywhoo, you shouldn't get married just because of a new baby, but when that baby comes, your world will change. I assure you of this. It won't seem real until you're holding it in your arms. Man, it really is amazing. Did I already say that? Maybe I'm biased. But back to the marraige question, you should only get married if you are ready for a lifetime commitment with your girl. Don't rush it. As long as you are supportive of her and your baby, what else matters? Get married when the time is right for the two of you.

[sylaxRKO]

people are still care if you had a kid out of wedlock?

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by endurance

I do not think marriage matters its just knowing you where mde by two people that love each other. I think being a good father doesnt mean geting married. If I was Bobby I would proballly get married

I think it shows the kid that their Dad was willing to stick by by getting married. It shows a commitment to that family, not a readiness to take off. Thats a debatable point, some may not agree with that angle.

[Happy Boy]

Originally Posted by sylaxRKO

people are still care if you had a kid out of wedlock?

Although morality is on the decline, it hasn't gone away just yet.

[oldshadow]

If you are living together supporting yourselves then it is up to you if and when you get married. Marriage would give you both more legal protections which is something to consider.
For instance you will have no choice in your girlfriend’s medical care if she can not decide for herself. That will go back to her parents as will many other things. Also if something happens to her then her parents can fight for custody of the kid a little easer. You also have the whole heath insurance thing. The moral issue aside one of the big things about marriage is the legal status it gives you both.