[Joe Mama]

Today is a rather sad day for me, as I have told my mother that I no longer want to have contact with her any longer. My mother and I have had a very tumultuous relationship for the past 33 years. I have lived with every one of my relatives, been told that I will never use as many drugs as her (from her own mouth), had to watch her fucked up promiscuous behaviors as I grew up and the list continues well into my adulthood.

The last time I told her that I didnt ever want to see her again was when she fucked me on a mortgage that was sold to my step sister, and then I found out she forged my signature for a life insurance policy for my daughter. Unfortunately my wife hadnt been subjected enough to her fucked up manipulations to know any better, and we commenced talking to her shortly thereafter.

The final straw came when my daughter went out to visit her for close to 2 weeks. It turned out to be a totally fucked up visit because my wifes birthday was totally overlooked. (Not even a phone call) It rapidly spiraled out of control and my wife had to FLY OUT to pick up my daughter because my mother kept making excuses. -This is not to say that my mom was keeping her hostage, she just didnt want to "deal with it" so she tried to stall as long as she could, hoping that my daughter would come back on schedule. -Point- What happened to me in the past is just that. The past, (and I am working to deal with alot of that shit) But when these same fucking behaviors are exhibited towards my family (ESPECIALLY my daughter) - thats where I draw the line.

All in fucking all, it was only recently that I had the 'ah-hah' moment as to why I always get really bad anxiety when I think of speaking to her, seeing her, hell even thinking of her. --I dont trust her. On ANY level, and this really saddens me. All these fucking years I keep forgiving her bullshit just in hopes that 'my mom' will be just that. Unfortunately, this isnt the case. She is a passive-aggressive, master manipulator.
I cant completely put her at fault as she had a good teacher (Her father) and well, I learned from the best. The only difference is - I have been busting my ass for the past several years with a therapist to help unlearn alot of these toxic behaviors. It sickens me in my heart to know that she very well may not be aware of these fucked up behaviors. And it makes it even more frustrating because passive-aggressiveness is so fucked up because you 'Cant exactly prove it' and we will deny any sort of this behavior because we dont realize we are doing it. (Anyone who has known someone who is passive-aggressive knows exactly what I am talking about)

It just kind of floors me, because in therapy, I am so fucking angry about her and her fucked up decisions. But now that I have chosen to remove her from my life, I am on the verge of tears. (Now matter how fucked up she is - it still hurts to have to let her go)

I know a forum would be the last place that most people would dump a bunch of shit like ths, but who cares. Im hurting on so many levels right now, it just feels better to type it out.
Thanks for the read
-Me

[shiftyly]

"it hurts to hold on, but you'll miss it when its gone"

a quote that i took to heart, but it seems true for you to. Sorry you're parents had to fuck you over as they have, but at least you can recognize these problems, and you're dealing with it so your daughter doesnt go through the same stuff. Just think that its the best for you and your family, and perhaps it'll help.

[magicman531]

I don't care for therapy.

Anyway, you have to rid your life of poisons. Otherwise you'll be infected in all areas. You've got to do what's best for yourself and your family. Even if that means cutting dear old mom out of the picture.

[RuRu]

I read your post and feel sorry for you. I hope everything gets better.

[rotten apple]

An unfortunate situation to say the least. You have no obligation to your mother and the obligations that your mother has for you has expired. There's two kinds of mothers: the one who gives birth to you and the one who takes care of you. She seems to be the former, maybe she once was both; either way, those days are obviously over with.

Although it might seem harsh emotionally and morally, it seems that this decision is one that is of very importance. It involves not only mental health but YOUR family as well.

Anyway, I couldn't be far enough in understanding, what your going through. All I know is that it can't be a easy.

I wish you luck my fellow Sherdogger.

P.S.

Writing is a great way to express yourself. I don't think many people realize the therapeutic benefits of writing what they feel.

peace

[fanattic]

that sucks man, sometimes you HAVE to let the ones you love go

[350 lbs fist]

You have my sympathies, man.

Take care of yourself and your family.

[anaconda]

Im sorry to hear that bro...good luck with everything.

[magicman531]

Originally Posted by rotten apple

P.S.

Writing is a great way to express yourself. I don't think many people realize the therapeutic benefits of writing what they feel.

peace

That depends on the person. I hold the same opinion as you. However I've known people who don't care for it at all. Some outlet is good to have though.

[Bones Justice]

I've had some pretty serious problems with my parents in the past too, but luckily everything is ok now. Good luck moving forward.