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Top 20 Chuck Norris Sex Facts!!!!
1. 70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.
2. Chuck Norris isn’t hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
3. An anagram for ‘Walker Texas Ranger’ is ‘Karate Wrangler Sex’. I don't know what that is, but it sounds awesome.
4. As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
5. Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven – with his cock.
6. Chuck Norris can impregnate a woman through anal sex.
7. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
8. Chuck Norris' dick is so big, it has it's own dick, and that dick is still bigger than yours.
9. Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
10. Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
11. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
12. Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known to last for up to 15 days.
13. Chuck Norris ends every relationship with "Its not me, its you".
14. Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so
15. Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.
16. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
17. Chuck Norris needs a monkey wrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.
18. Chuck Norris once had sex with a cigarette machine in the Osaka airport – and got change.
19. Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
20. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
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"MY NAME IS HORSE SHIT"
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