You know why so many people don't read the FAQ?

[Systemanoob**]

Because there isn't one link that just gives you a conditioning program.

Listen I read the FAQ and most of the questions don't apply to me. I'm not 500 lbs., I know what LSD is and I don't care what Burpees are. When people want to get in shape, they just want a beginner workout program they can click and follow. I've read and clicked link after link and can't find what I'm looking for. Please update the FAQ or don't flame people when every other thread is can you find me a conditioning plan?

[Sonny]

The point of the FAQ was to guide people in the right direction. I never intended to provide a one size fits all for people looking to get into shape because everyone is different with different goals.

There's a beginners running program in the FAQ, there's also the Running Man Program, the Beginner Burpee program (although you don't care about those). The Tabata program, a few complex programs etc. etc.

As far as tayloring a program for your specific needs, there aren't too many people here qualified to do that. The FAQ is a compilation of information for you to create your own program.

[bacon]

Originally Posted by Systemanoob

Because there isn't one link that just gives you a conditioning program.

Listen I read the FAQ and most of the questions don't apply to me. I'm not 500 lbs., I know what LSD is and I don't care what Burpees are. When people want to get in shape, they just want a beginner workout program they can click and follow. I've read and clicked link after link and can't find what I'm looking for. Please update the FAQ or don't flame people when every other thread is can you find me a conditioning plan?

There's a multi-million dollar industry built around building conditioning programs for people who don't have the time, energy or motivation to learn how to make one themselves.

The advice given here is good and it's free. All you have to do is read and search a little. If you just want to turn the crank and watch a shiny new conditioning routine pop out... then you're probably in the wrong place.

[Revok]

The FAQ is purposefully engineered as a kind of threshold. If you're too lazy a cunt to seek out the information you desire, you must continue to languish in the purgatory of inefficient training until discipline is acquired.

Also, since when has infophobia become, like, good? Ever considered that you might learn something useful(e.g. what burpees are) whilst looking?

[ronin0352]

Originally Posted by Systemanoob

Because there isn't one link that just gives you a conditioning program.

Listen I read the FAQ and most of the questions don't apply to me. I'm not 500 lbs., I know what LSD is and I don't care what Burpees are. When people want to get in shape, they just want a beginner workout program they can click and follow. I've read and clicked link after link and can't find what I'm looking for. Please update the FAQ or don't flame people when every other thread is can you find me a conditioning plan?

You're right, someone should do that. And then after someone does all the work and thinking of making this plan for you, the winner of the latest conditioning challenge should have to come to your house and do the program for you too. Cause if you're too lazy to read a little bit and put some thought into developing a program that fits your body, your needs & your goals, then you're definitely too Goddamned lazy to actually do it.

[mackz]

Originally Posted by Systemanoob

Because there isn't one link that just gives you a conditioning program.

Listen I read the FAQ and most of the questions don't apply to me. I'm not 500 lbs., I know what LSD is and I don't care what Burpees are. When people want to get in shape, they just want a beginner workout program they can click and follow. I've read and clicked link after link and can't find what I'm looking for. Please update the FAQ or don't flame people when every other thread is can you find me a conditioning plan?

There are many conditioning programs out there. Google my fren

[Ian Coe]

Originally Posted by Revok

The FAQ is purposefully engineered as a kind of threshold. If you're too lazy a cunt to seek out the information you desire, you must continue to languish in the purgatory of inefficient training until discipline is acquired.

Also, since when has infophobia become, like, good? Ever considered that you might learn something useful(e.g. what burpees are) whilst looking?

But he's a busy man.

He shouldn't have to go actually looking for information. Its should be presented for him, there and then with exactly the information required. No more, no less.

He doesn't need to learn things he doesn't need RIGHT THIS SECOND

[krellik]

There is something retarded about this thread. The reason people -dont read the faq-, is that they -have read it already-(!) and come to the conclusion that there are no easy-pantsy perfect routine for their ***gy needs.

The -only- logical explanation for this is word of mouth and I can imagine how it looks.

Systemanoob: Hey dude you visit sherdog right, bigest mma forum on the net right, you like Ultimate fighting, right.

Random dude: Eh yeah...

Systemanoob: for fuck sake whatever you do dont read the faq in the conditioning forum. It dont have a routine for you! A single easy to comprehend routine that fits the morbidly obese to the pro athlete. Shame really.

Random dude: Eh ok.... (awkward sillence), good to know, I only usually postwhore in the UFC forum anyway...

[Mule-Kick]

I stopped reading after the burpees comment. You're just lazy.

[Revok]

I actually outright refuse to read any body of text that doesn't directly refer to me by name.

*throws bhagavad gita on nearby fire*