[95sprtcpedrvr]

Every morning I faithfully read my Manly Manual while eating my 1 lb of bacon, 1 lb of sausage, half a carton of eggs with a pot of thick black coffee. I finish my breakfast with a fat Cuban cigar.
Then I get my cardio work done by running thru traffic, occasionally taking a hit by a Peterbuilt. Its tough to practice your ground work rolling under the trailer while it is going 75 mph. I also have a permanent scar of treadmarks from a "E" code set of Michelins on my forehead, the price you pay for being slow.
My weightlifting consists of bench pressing my TA, curling one of my GF (one on each arm that is). During my workouts I replenish my fluids by drinking some battery acid. I also like to play tug of war with a clydesdale to finish everything off.
Thanks to the stupid US Forest Service I'm banned from entering any National Forest. They say it is for my safety, HA! I think the lack of manliness in the world today has gotten a hold of the bears is the reason why.
Then after being fed entervenously and recuperating for 6 months in IC I repeat. This has shown everyone around exactly how manly I am and proud of it.

BE MANLY!!!

[JawbreakerRomeo]

Originally Posted by King Kabuki

Manliness in danger of extinction

By Zach Parks

I pump iron, because iron-pumping is manly.

I returned to Oxford after a long winter break to find that my gym had been taken over by idiots. Every January these collar-popping pansies pollute my gym in hopes of gaining last-minute beach muscle in time for spring break. Then, by March they're gone. This futile attempt to reverse a semester of binge drinking is turning my palace of testosterone into a combination of TRL and the Mickey Mouse Club, this annual phenomenon also illustrates the general lack of manliness in today's society. Kids these days lack the sufficient couth, persistence and sportsmanship to maintain a grueling, manly year-round workout. These girly-men need to get the hell out of my gym.

I miss days of our grandfathers, back when men were real men.

Back then the game of dodgeball was played with rocks and the game of dodgerock was played with knives. I miss the days when everyone was a badass.

Somehow between then and now fate decided to take a steaming hot dump all over Darwin's grave as a generation of salty war veterans gave way to a generation of scarf-wearing vaginas.

It hurts me to think that for years society stands idly painting its fingernails while icons like Clint Eastwood are replaced by wieners like Ryan Seacrest. If these generations of manly men were still alive they would spit tobacco juice in Ryan Seacrest's face and then make him wash and wax their Trans Am.

Back in the good old days things were much simpler. Back then you could walk into a caf and not be totally confused. This is because back then it didn't matter if you were trying to order, cappuccino, mocha latte or espresso they were all called the same thing, scotch.

Back then four out of five doctors recommended smoking. This isn't because of doctor's ignorance to the dangers of smoking. This is because lungs used to be much more manly. Lungs used to be a manly shade of black instead of a girly shade of pink. But these days our lungs have devolved into an advanced state of weenie-ism making us incapable of enjoying rich tobacco goodness.

When manly men aren't eating pieces of shit like you for breakfast they're eating sausage wrapped in bacon, wrapped in more bacon and topped with a fried egg, and they wash it down with a glass of bacon grease, topped off with a doctor recommended cigarette.

Look at any grumpy old man and the first thing you'll notice is that he smells like a medium-sized pile of garbage that is sitting on top of a large-sized pile of garbage. This is because of years and years of stink that has built up from a combination of bare-knuckle boxing and bare-knuckle lumberjacking.

Wimps, weenies and vegetarians are ruining our great nation. America is on a downward spiral, we've got a fever and the only prescription is scotch, red meat and lumberjacks.


original:
http://www.mustudent.muohio.ed...

Your the fuckin man! My thoughts exactly. Thats why America is screwed. Now, excuse me Iam going to have a shot of scotch, Kick my fathers teeth out, and go do some heavy back bi's. Later.

[King Kabuki]

Your the fuckin man! My thoughts exactly. Thats why America is screwed. Now, excuse me Iam going to have a shot of scotch, Kick my fathers teeth out, and go do some heavy back bi's. Later.

Word. A Papa's proudest day is the day his soon whoops his ass either literally or figuratively. And any man who says otherwise is both a chicken-shit and shouldn't be raising children.

The day my Son bests me in any way decisively I'll wrap my arm around him and say "I'm so dad-gum proud of ya boah"...then I'll slip him a mickey and shave his head while he's sleeping, just to let him know whose STILL boss.

Be sure and smoke a cigar when you're done.

[giovannip]

Originally Posted by B. Goetz

That article made me laugh so hard I spilled latte on my scarf.

put some dirt on that .......lol

[bjjfighter91]

ur the toughest guy i know King Kabuki....

[KravMachado]

Originally Posted by King Kabuki

I'm not Wastelanding this. It's completely relevant as far as I'm concerned. A lot of young guys come in here and ask questions that common sense and some sort of fortitude will answer for you.

I remember one of my best conditioning coaches in High School always had two remedies for injury or fatigue. Ice and Dirt. lol "Coach I got a cut and it went straight to the bone"..."get some dirt on that, you'll be fine." "Coach I'm pretty sure I broke my neck on that last exercise, I can't feel my legs." "Get some ice on that, when you can move, get some dirt on it, you'll be fine."

Sounds stupid, but it produced some tough, gritty players. Half of the problems I see in this Forum routinely can be worked through by sheer toughness alone.

I totally understand the "Bitches" concept. I teach our conditioning program and boxing/kickboxing program. I don't know how many times I get these "Im in shape because I run 2 hrs a day on the treadmill" ***s who think that they'll easily transition into real kickboxing or boxing. They come in with these attitudes and when we do simple 3-5 minute rounds with half of that time being all out bursts, they become a bunch of whiny pussies. The guy who runs 10 miles may be in cardio shape, but you're not in fighting shape. It's all a different oxygen consumption. They bitch and cry and you don't see them anymore until, like you say, it's either spring break or summertime. But I like summertime because then we get the thong wearing ho's who come in and being an instructor has it's fringe benefits when training these finely tuned women.

I ask my instructor all the time if we can have an ass kicking session worked into the school programs. This would be for all the "attitudes" we get. We'll get old school on their asses and go into the old ways of training and then they'd all end up in the emergency room.

Any suggestions for a lesson plan on an ass kicking session will be gladly appreciated!

If I can get my 10 year olds jiu jitsu students to do the scarecrow on each other for an hour without crying, I can surely kick a few adults asses through conditioning.

[cjn]

while now that we're on the subject of this shit dont forget the men who wear pink

[OpethDrums]

how does a man with a ponytail make a thread about manliness hahahahaha

[King Kabuki]

I suppose you never heard of Samson? I'm like him, my strength is in muh hair.

Besides, you listen to Opeth, who are like the Mariah Carey of Black ****l.

[B-N]

http://www.pirate-king.com/episode/1062

Along the same lines, funny but TRUE!!!

(ya I know the guy who wrote its name is Kim, but he was born in Africa, so whatever...)