Road to Redemption and Nashville Marathon

[machine29]

I'm going to get a little personal in a Sherdog thread which is sort of a scary prospect. I don't care though because I am going for a life long dream next April and I need all the motivation and help I can get.


I want to start a thread documenting my rise and fall and now my road back to the top.

I have been overweight my entire life. I have always been a stress eater and a food addict. I really sympathize with alcoholics and drug addicts because if overeating were illegal id be doing life.

I just always dealt with depresssion and tragedies through large food consumption and I am wanting to finally, once and for all, end this cycle.

I have the distinction of losing over 50 pounds 3 times. Thing is, that means Ive at some point gained it back. The last time, 6 years ago, I went from 195 up to 285 pounds. I went from being in shape to not being able to walk a 1/4 of a mile.

I have pics that u would not believe. Long story short, I was engaged, had a child with this girl. Through a twist of fate of tragic events we broke up and turns out she had lied to me the whole time and the kid wasnt mine *OWNED Right?* anyhow, that spiraled me down into a dark abyss that I could not pull out of. The only thing keeping me going was food. I had no idea how to get myself out of this and I just drifted, getting more and more depressed, getting heavier and heavier.

Finally the fog lifted and I was determined.

Long story short it took 4 years but I lost 100 pounds, and in April ran the Country Music Half Marathon in Nashville in under 2 hours which was my goal. 3 weeks before the half marathon my dad passed away suddenly and tragically. He was only 55 years old, his dad died when he was 56. So u see a pattern of early death here.

Since that day, I have found myself falling back into old habits. I am once again very depressed and seem lost and I am back to doing poorly.

I have went from 185 back up to 215 and I HAVE to stop this now.


I am wanting to do the full marathon next year in April but my training has to start now and all the bullshit I've been doing has to stop NOW before it gets too late.

I am not in a horrible position as I still have a lot of my running fitness. I can still do 8 miles etc but not as fast.




SO anyway to cap this novel off, I need some motivation. I need somewhere I can post whats goin on, my updates, my results and feel like Im being held accountable for what I do. U guys on here are some of the harshest critics ever and i like that.


Does anyone have any stories or anything motivational that I could use, tips,advice etc? what to do when I get stressed/depressed and immediately want to reach for comfort food?

Im starting July 4th 2008 at 215 pounds:

Im bout to head out for a 5 mile run and I am determined to get my diet under control.


Im going to weigh every week and post the results.

[Jake Martin]

Originally Posted by machine29

Does anyone have any stories or anything motivational that I could use, tips,advice etc? what to do when I get stressed/depressed and immediately want to reach for comfort food?

YouTube - Stallone

Ok I'm lame for getting motivated by this video, but I love sly and I love this video.

It's a great idea to log your progress - Start a log in the training logs forum, I for one will subscribe and read your daily updates, as will many others I'm sure. It's a great way to keep tabs on yourself.

If you're really, really serious and have the funds, you might want to see a psychologist. It's always helpful to have someone to talk to, and while an internet forum is good, face to face with someone who has training is best.

As far as what to do when you get stressed or depressed...I used to recommend (and practiced) thinking of all the people in the world who are negative, aren't doing anything with their lives, live like slobs...and then focus all of that into a "You don't want to end up like this, do you?" negative response. It worked for a while, but I think in the long-term it's not a healthy way to think.

Now I try for a more zen-like (or maybe existential-like) approach. You have a vision in your mind of what an upstanding, righteous, strong and powerful person should be. You have to remind yourself that no one will get you to that level but yourself - you determine what you believe is 'right' by acting right, setting an example.

Imagine that all the world is watching you and will follow by your example. Now, lead.

Sorry for my philosophical rantings, but I think it applies just as much to training (strength of the physical leads to strength of the mental) as it does life.


Goodluck and keep us updated!

edit: Just noticed you run a GnR forum, so you're doubly awesome in my book.

[TheAth-ah-lete]

My personal belief is that you have to learn to be accountable for yourself, not count on others to keep you accountable, a lot of people do this for a while and it does work...but eventually you'll be alone and need to be abe to count on YOURSELF.

I'm in no way saying you shouldn't be grateful of encouragement and help from friends and family, but you have to grow your own balls and take care of yourself even if there is no one else in the world to motivate you.

[TheAth-ah-lete]

p.s. to keep things positive though, good job on the things you've already accomplished, you know what you gotta do, now quit looking for ways out and keep your nose to the grindstone.

[Bubble Boy]

>Machine29:
Seems to me that some of your issues are linked to depression. Have you ever discussed this with your Doctor.
I'm telling you, Lexapro changed my life.
I was having panic attacks and weird episodes of night terrors and weird shit like that.
My doctor prescribed various anti-depressants and asked me to give them each about 3 weeks until I decided if they were for me or not.
I tried Paxil and Zoloft and HATED them.
Finally I tried Lexapro, hated it for a while, and then stuck with it for the 3 weeks. My panic attacks completely went away, and I started sleeping better.

You may look into it. Up to you.
Good luck bro.

[machine29]

Thanks a lot guys for the words and taking time to read and respond.


I've never went to a Doctor although I should. I've had serious bouts with depression since I was a teenager, I just never saw professional help.

I'm learning though with a good diet and exercise, I usually defeat the depression.

Problems started right after my dad passed and its like I have nightmares that are so real and I wake up just heartbroke all over again.

I've been doing outstanding this week.

*JAKE MARTIN* I love Sylvester Stallone and Thanks for that video! Big time inspirational!

I've been doing great since Friday and I can already tell a difference in my clothes.


I guess also, I have to just look in the mirror, realize I messed up and stop beating myself up about it.

TheATH u are right dude. I need to stop making excuses, using crutches, get my heart and balls back and just do what I know to do.