Planet Fitness Screwed Me

[Standard]

I always liked the idea of having "accidents" in the gym, you know load up the smith machine, then unload only one side (obviously make sure no one is close by) and whoops the thing falls over. Amazing how much damage a machine can cause to the ones beside it and the floor. Same thing works for any plate loaded machine like hack squat or leg press or whatever

[Saith]

Originally Posted by Standard

I always liked the idea of having "accidents" in the gym, you know load up the smith machine, then unload only one side (obviously make sure no one is close by) and whoops the thing falls over. Amazing how much damage a machine can cause to the ones beside it and the floor. Same thing works for any plate loaded machine like hack squat or leg press or whatever

Smith machine dominos.

I like it.

[Keith Wassung]

You dont want to have you credit messed with, better to buy a small bottle of deer scent (hunters use it to attract deer) and pour it on the rocks in the sauna when the heat is turned off--as soon as the rocks heat up-----phew---the smell would flush out a Branch Davidean

[Jubacat]

Originally Posted by Keith Wassung

You dont want to have you credit messed with, better to buy a small bottle of deer scent (hunters use it to attract deer) and pour it on the rocks in the sauna when the heat is turned off--as soon as the rocks heat up-----phew---the smell would flush out a Branch Davidean

Have you ever thought of writing these all down in a book?

[dexbot]

Originally Posted by Jubacat

Have you ever thought of writing these all down in a book?

Who said he didn't?

LINK

Bob Smith...riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight ;)

[bad_coupon]

This thread is so full of win.

[Keith Wassung]

It comes from years of lifting and submarine duty.

I have not even begun to open the vault on revenge stories and pranks.

When I was in nuclear weapons school in Virginia, they had this program where once you graduated from school, you could ( if selected) stay at the school for one year as sort of a instructors assistant--it was mostly a brown nose type position and some guys liked it because it made them immediatetly in charge of younger guys ( younger by about a year)

We had this guy named Carlson who was in a couple of classes ahead of us-a real prick. He was selected for the "plowback" program and he became the head PO in our barracks-sort of like being the dormintory RA in college. He was on a real power trip, enforcing all of the tiniest rules, etc. It was observed that when anyone turned their stereos above the maximum level, Carlson would bolt from his office around the corner and run at full speed down the hall taking the corner at top speed ( he was pretty fast) and then charge towards the offending room and bang on their door and threaten to write up the guilty party. A couple of guys a few doors down from me came in late one night after having a few and they knew Carlson was in his office and they had this huge stero and they cranked it up to full volume and Carlson of course comes charging down the hall and rounds the corner....did I also mention that the had covered the deck directly around the corner with an entire bottle of baby oil? Carlso hit that corner and full speed and went into a full skid crashing into the opposite wall--as he was laying in a puddle of baby oil half dazed, every door in the barracks opened up and people began yelling "NO RUNNING IN THE BARRACKS CARLSON" and then slammed them shut.

It was pretty funny and he suffered no permanent injuries


many, many more stories

[bacon]

Originally Posted by Keith Wassung

You dont want to have you credit messed with, better to buy a small bottle of deer scent (hunters use it to attract deer) and pour it on the rocks in the sauna when the heat is turned off--as soon as the rocks heat up-----phew---the smell would flush out a Branch Davidean

I've pissed in the sauna rocks before. I was trying to drop weight for a wrestling tournament. My team was staying in a hotel in Nowhere Missouri. After way too long in the sauna, I'd thought I'd "spice up" the party and pissed in the rocks. And it wasn't just your standard piss. It was dehydrated wrestler piss, meaning it was an unhealthy shade of orange and had the consistancy of yogurt. Holy shit was that smell nasty. You could smell it from the hotel lobby.

[BLACKHAWK3634]

update:

Planet Fitness has yet to return any of my phone messages. I sent them this email today.

Dear Planet Fitness,

On Wednesday May 28th my friend and I joined World Gym in Franklin, MA for a student fee of $99. We joined under the impression that we would have full access to free weights exceeding 75lbs in weight, a squat rack, a power rack, a steam room, a basketball court, the ability to deadlift, and several other amenities. At the time of our signing a contract with World Gym no one at the franchise informed us of your buyout of World Gym nor made us aware of the changes in equipment and rules that would occur a mere four days after joining. Unfortunately for my friend and I our lifting routine consists of Olympic lifts and other actions that are forbidden by your company. Though we do not grunt, drop weights, partake in a pre-lifting rituals, or engage in any other activities that would annoy other members, your companies stereotypes and blatant discrimination against our life choice makes us very uncomfortable. For a company whose motto is “The Judgment Free Zone” your antics such as the “lunk alarm” seem very Orwellian.

I have called your corporate office several times and have yet to have any representative for you company answer your phone or return my messages. All I am asking for is that your reimburse my friend and I 100% so that we can move on to find another gym that suits us. Please contact me at 111-111-1111 (preferable) anytime after 3:30 or via email at ???. I wish to resolve this issue and be reimbursed as soon as possible.

[BLACKHAWK3634]

Next time planet fitness is contacted it will be to inform them of my lawsuit.