OT: The Adventures of Bacon.

bacon · 08-23-2006, 06:07 PM

(In best backwood Missouri sister-bonin, cousin-marryin voice)

Howdy fuckers. *spits*

Last time we read about Bacon goin bar hoppin in Inglewood Californy with a buncha dumsumbitches from Missouri. This time, Bacon's goin home! Yeehaw *fires shotgun at mailbox*

*Bacon takes the keyboard away from crazy-narrator guy*

I'm flyin into KC and drivin down to the Arkansas border to go floatin with 10 of my best friends. None of these idiots should EVER be trusted with a sling shot, expensive booze or any female you're related to. This is our annual float trip and it's the tenth year in a row we all got sunburns, alcohol poisoning and the dry heaves. Highlights from last time include, but aren't limited to:

1. Almost shot my buddy's eye out with a roman candle...(it ricocheted off a tree...)

2. Fellow sherdogger Ryanlee3004 took a shit from a tree....that just so happened to hang over the river. That church group was PISSED!

3. I streaked through every god damned camp site I could find....don't judge me.....I like streaking.

4. One of my friends did the Triple Lindy off a whery high cliff while dressed as Elmo.

5. Two of my friends dressed as pirates. They had a sail made from a ginormous pair of panties. They got pulled over by the river pigs (Officers of the law trying to ensure safety on the river) and repremanded....but not before one of the cops told my friend to "Put that damn thing away" while angrily pointing at the open zipper on my buddy's shorts.

6. I slept in my own vomit.

7. Woke up in someone elses..

Wish me luck, but not sobriety. Will report this year's highlights if I make it back alive.

*gets on plane after drinking contents of flask (jim beam black)*

Ian Coe · 08-23-2006, 06:15 PM

Have fun

and remember take pics

deadlyshaolin · 08-23-2006, 06:23 PM

Be sure to wear your TapOut gear and look as hard as you can.

KeyserSoze · 08-23-2006, 06:34 PM

There is a badass japanese hibachi bar in KC, MO. About 12 bucks for steak and shrimp cooked infront of you with all the fire and shit. Best hibachi bar I have been to, and one of the cheapest.

PariahCarey · 08-23-2006, 07:06 PM

After reading last years highlights I'm not sure how things can get better *sighs*

Have a fun trip though.

rEmY · 08-23-2006, 09:20 PM

have fun.

AxeGrinder · 08-23-2006, 10:04 PM

have a good one there mister', heheh.....*ptooo*...

ghostwipe · 08-24-2006, 12:31 AM

Looking forward to the story and pics.

Don't forget to shave your ass.

**Lusst** · 08-24-2006, 07:58 AM

Haha, this is gonna be awesome.

Next year...I'm coming.

fat_wilhelm · 08-24-2006, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lusst

Haha, this is gonna be awesome.

Next year...I'm coming.

Me, too. Seriously.

bacon, who the hell are these guys?

Oh, just some stalkers I met on an online forum. I've never actually met them, but they say they like to vomit and stuff, so I invited them. Well, actually, they invited themselves...