Funny roll with newbie today.

armtriangle · 03-03-2008, 12:47 PM

so this kid comes in to class today, probably 20 yrs old. Fairly athletic build, looks normal. We have day classes which i attend over my lunch some days, and night classes. Our day classes are full of younger college kids and a few pro / am fighters. As a new blue belt, i was the hightest ranking bjjer in the class. at night im usually the low man.

our instructor usually matches newbies up with whoever will whomp them while showing the effectiveness of bjj by using the smallest amount of effort. This isnt my strong suit, but today it was all white belts and me.

so i start rolling with the kid. i pull guard as it is my vow to only work off my back now. immediately the noob spazzes as is the usual ritual of first timers. i can feel him shaking like a newborn puppy with bottled energy. im just messing around... i have my hands behind my head, just pushing him over everytime he goes a direction. i probably had 40 pounds on the kid too. Im a fairly solid 220... he was prob 180 soaking wet

then things went to a place i have never experienced... he started digging his nails into me. I assumed he didnt realise what he was doing, so i sort transitioned to an omoplata to get him to chill a little. i suck at everything guard related, so he managed to fish his arm out. i swing legs back around and use my hands for the first time and pull him inwith an underhook.

he raised up and started throwing punches at my head, not real hard, just sparring speed and making teh hard exhale sound effects like a pro boxer. then he stood up and did the looping diving punch you see in mma fights sometimes. he did ring my bell a couple times. I just started laughing my ass off. not out loud, just it was funny as hell and i was laughing uncontrollably.
all this occured in the first minute of a 5 min round.

eventually i armbarred him from bottom. i asked him after the first sub... "what are you doing? you cant puch in bjj and we dont need sound effects, just roll" and he said he was showing me what would have happened if it was a fight. i told him "just work on what you learned today ok, dont punch anyone else in here or you might get hurt"

then my ego wouldnt allow me to let the kid punch me in the head anymore. so i had to break my own rule and take top. so i just smothered him and mauled him for a few minutes, and subbed him a couple more times with arm entanglement chokes (gift wrap choke).

i wanted to say in mr. miyagi voice, "you too much tv"

it occurred to me after the roll i should have punched him in the head from mount. i also asked myself why i let him punch me before i subbed him. i guess i just wanted to see if i could get it while being punched in the face. but i am a super nice and gentle guy. im sure some of you would have hurt him.

just thought i'd share.

jscore · 03-03-2008, 12:53 PM

hahahahhahahahhha.

TalkShowOnMute · 03-03-2008, 01:00 PM

This reminds me of a story that Kirik or one of the main guys on mma.tv always tells about an instructor they know, kind of an old school guy, tough and what not.

He had a noob in there rolling for the first time, and the instructor had pulled guard and was just giving it an easy go for this visitors first time, well the visitor postured up from guard and threw a light punch into the instructors face simultaneously saying "Can we punch?" as he threw it. So the instructor sweeps the guy punches him in the face and says "Yes."

Love it!

J Storm · 03-03-2008, 01:00 PM

kid sounds like a straight up tool. u should of ripped his gi and told him never to come back.

armtriangle · 03-03-2008, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TalkShowOnMute

This reminds me of a story that Kirik or one of the main guys on mma.tv always tells about an instructor they know, kind of an old school guy, tough and what not.

He had a noob in there rolling for the first time, and the instructor had pulled guard and was just giving it an easy go for this visitors first time, well the visitor postured up from guard and threw a light punch into the instructors face simultaneously saying "Can we punch?" as he threw it. So the instructor sweeps the guy punches him in the face and says "Yes."

Love it!

classic.

armtriangle · 03-03-2008, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J Storm

kid sounds like a straight up tool. u should of ripped his gi and told him never to come back.

if he had a gi onm it wouldnt have lasted a minute... i do much better on bottom with a gi. but he wasnt wearing one. i would have "hitman" choked him with my belt and said "im just showing you what would happen if i was gonna rape your dead body in an alley"

Cardio King · 03-03-2008, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TalkShowOnMute

This reminds me of a story that Kirik or one of the main guys on mma.tv always tells about an instructor they know, kind of an old school guy, tough and what not.

He had a noob in there rolling for the first time, and the instructor had pulled guard and was just giving it an easy go for this visitors first time, well the visitor postured up from guard and threw a light punch into the instructors face simultaneously saying "Can we punch?" as he threw it. So the instructor sweeps the guy punches him in the face and says "Yes."

Love it!

You sir, just made my day.

ninja's rage · 03-03-2008, 01:13 PM

thats a good funny read man. way to go. you kept your cool (the main thing) and you made him look kiunda foolish too. props.

TalkShowOnMute · 03-03-2008, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cardio King

You sir, just made my day.

I just wish I could remember who it was, it was a name most here would recognize. Oh well.

TTT for spastic noobs.

EndoG · 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by armtriangle

so this kid comes in to class today...

Sooo nice to read one of these threads where the TS doesn't end it by asking if he should break the guy's arms or just break his spirit... Props for not hitting him in the head.

Had a guy who was in fight mode the other day, threw punches in my direction when I was passing his guard and what not. Nice guy, just took a while to get out of fight mode for him (striking background I think). Funniest thing though was he kept interpreting what I would say the same way--in an mma context.

I telling him how his base was off in my guard and tapped him lightly with my foot to show how off balance he was. No sooner than I'd pushed him he was "right, because you could just kick be in the solar plexis and it would be over"... I paused for a second and said "no, that's not what I was trying to show you... I wouldn't kick you".

Nice guy, he even apologized for being a bit high-strung--he was trying to be really good he just had some wrong ideas about what we were doing.