[jjmuaythaiguy]

Originally Posted by OneFate

Try balancing kids, and two full time jobs. Problems are sure to arise.

Yes, that a tough one. I met my girl at muay thai. So she knows the importance of me training. We even got a written contract regarding my training for our relationship. Since we don't have children, she is free to join me or do what ever she wants when I am training.

Now as we move forward I am trying really hard to balance my one full time job, my other two part time jobs, going to jj training, now judo and the gym. What is really good that she has been a human grappling dummy for me and now that she is at an undisclosed training location for law enforcement, she is actually using the things that I taught her or she picks up really fast what they teach her there. I am training as much as I can while she is away but when she returns I hope that she wants to get into the academy and train to keep her training up or at least there she can see me.

For people that have relationships where the girl does not want to train or support your training, I think the other posters got good ideas. For every hour of training you do something for them. Whether it be letting them go out with their friends and you watch the kids or you do something together to have balance.

Some people are really lucky that their girls train and are into it, we have a couple that trains, drills and competes at our school. The girlfriend just came out of interest of what her boyfriend was doing and to spend time with him. Now she is totally into it AND she is way better at it that he is. Hahaha. Both got their blues recently and really great to see them get it together and their happiness.

Good thread discussion for the most part.

[Big Jimmy]

Bjj is sexy if a girl dosent think so shes a flake and needs to get cornholed and kicked to the curb pronto.

[ShanghaiBJJ]

Originally Posted by Boulderface

am no expert, nor do I pretend to be. I just offer suggestions from time to time and hope to help if I can.

See that is the problem, you WAY overreacted and started slinging insults. That is not what 'helping' consists of in this internet grappling community, of which batman69 is a valuable, knowledgeable and funny member.

Despite of his somewhat homoerotic nickname and an avatar that smells funny even over the internet.

[theFelix]

Originally Posted by comquest

Hey guys Im sure those of you in a relationship have had arguments with your girlfriend or wife about spending quality time together versus training. At one point in time I used to train 4 times a week at my BJJ class but had to cut it to twice a week otherwise the bitching would never stop. She accuses me of practically living in the gym. As much as I love her I love BJJ as well and would like to train more but must ask permission. For those who have families and kids you guys are probably in a much more difficult situation when it comes to training. Would love to hear your stories and how you handle this situation.

I've reworded this several times trying to make it sound polite and that I don't come off as an asshole.

So here goes:

Why do you have to ask permission to do something that you clearly enjoy and makes you happy?

Do you have many other hobbies that keep you away from her for hours at a time? Even video games, a couple of hours of madden or halo are a couple of hours away from your chick, tack that on to BJJ plus the time with your boys hanging out doing guy shit, etc. Then scheduling conflicts with her and her chick stuff then you two have limited time together for sure.

Learn to balance your life out!

If you are pretty dedicated to her and your BJJ is your thing to escape life/her, grow as a person/maintain sanity etc. then the fact that you have to ask permission to do it makes her sound less than nice (read colossal bitch).

You know the facts homes so sort it out.

[HEAVY GRAPPLER]

I train about 4X/week, I am married with an 18-month old daughter. It has caused some tension frankly, but we found a solution.

We sat down and talked about it and agreed on which days/which class times I would attend. We arranged the schedule putting priority on family commitments, ie going to late class so I can bathe our daughter and put her to bed beforehand.

Now, my wife never complains, since she helped make the schedule and it is at least predictable. The only problems arise when I sneak in an extra class. But she knows BJJ is important to me and it has helped me lose about 45lbs so she takes an honest interest in it and tries to understand.

I thought it was great that at the last Jorge Gurgel seminar here, Jorge went up to the wives waiting at the end and thanked them all for letting us come train for 10 hours on a weekend.

EDIT TO RESPOND TO THE GUY ABOVE ME: It's not about asking permission. It's about maintaining harmony in the house and living up to your commitments.

[Jose Chupacabra]

Man, I just started training about 4 months ago. My brother in law gotm me into it, and I got all excited because I saw him training 3-5 times a week. Needless to say I failed to take into account that I had a wife and kid and my school is 40 minutes away.

the first few months have been rough. We just recently came to an understanding of me training 3 times a week. I just take my training that much more seriously now, so I guess it could be a good thing that I dont "live" in the gym. MMA/BJJ/Muay Thai is/are my only real hobbie(S). I work, pick up the daughter, and on days I dont have practice, spend time with my family.

And as for what TheFelix said about asking permission...relationships are about keeping eachother happy. yes, it would make me happy to train for 5 days a week, but how would it make my lady feel? Easy way to lose your woman.

[Tamil]

Finn getting into MMA prompted me to finally get off my own ass and pursue MT, lol. But even if I didn't, I'd still be as supportive. As others had suggested, maybe find out what hobbies she's into and be supportive for her in that.

Although truth be told, she should be happy and supportive of whatever makes you happy. Especially since you stay healthy and in great shape, and probably relieves a lot of stress in your life as well. If it were the other way around, wouldn't she want you to be understanding and supportive?

That said, you two will just have to find balance and possibly compromise (both of you, not just you cutting down, that's not fair to you).

[jjmuaythaiguy]

Originally Posted by HEAVY GRAPPLER

I train about 4X/week, I am married with an 18-month old daughter. It has caused some tension frankly, but we found a solution.

We sat down and talked about it and agreed on which days/which class times I would attend. We arranged the schedule putting priority on family commitments, ie going to late class so I can bathe our daughter and put her to bed beforehand.

Now, my wife never complains, since she helped make the schedule and it is at least predictable. The only problems arise when I sneak in an extra class. But she knows BJJ is important to me and it has helped me lose about 45lbs so she takes an honest interest in it and tries to understand.

I thought it was great that at the last Jorge Gurgel seminar here, Jorge went up to the wives waiting at the end and thanked them all for letting us come train for 10 hours on a weekend.

Very classy on your part and Jorge Gurgel's.

[GZUS]

get your wife into it.

i sacrificed going out with my friends to always train jiu jitsu. she like that fact since i used to get drunk and stupidly used to get in trouble all the time when i was younger.

find some compromise because 4 times a week isn't very much bro sometimes you just got to be the man in the relationship and state what you want and goals and if she ain't on board maybe she ain't for you and this is a sign of that.

[JRT6]

My wife dosen't like the time I spend doing BJJ but she is cancer survivor and I was there for her and she realizes that in order for me to continue to be there I have to have something to burn off all the emotions and stress. I never skip family time to train but on a regular day I'm training.