[Three Gun Fish]

You, like many people, are looking at this backwards. You are REACTING. What you want to do is ACT.

The difference between an action and a reaction is you're in charge with the first one. With the second one, you're simply playing catch-up. You want to be AHEAD of the game.

One solid way of being ahead of the dating game is by turning yourself into a catch. Become a viable commodity. Dress as well as you can (that does not mean dressy-dressy everyday). Smell nice, act polite. Make money. Have fun. Go travel. These are all things you can enjoy fully on their own as well. Become a catch, women will come to you.

The other thing you might NOT NOT NOT want to do is bring up the conversation "Where Do We Stand?" You don't talk to a meal and say, "First I'm going to order you at a fancy restaurant. Maybe get some wine. Then when you come to the table I will eat you all up. Chew chew chew. Then swallow. My stomach will then . . . " What I am telling you is talking about things will not set your mind at ease, nor will it create the most romantic of atmospheres. Talking about a relationship is only worth doing when the relationship is worth talking about. Remember this: While a woman might not need a strong man to make her life complete, she will not want to spend her affections on a boy who must first ask permission to see if it's all right with her, maybe, if someday he could ask her out.

At the beginning, nothing is worth talking about. Be cool.

This has been all general information. Specific to your case: no, she is not shutting you down entirely. You could very well be friend-zoned if you sit on your heels about making yourself look more like a good catch. Exploit the opportunity. A date is your opportunity to show how great it would be to be your girl. Don't lie and overdo it. Shit will come back to haunt you.