[JJ FRENCH]

If you guys promise never to bring this up again, I'll tell you a little ditty:

I was 14, stoned and home alone. I had borrowed a VHS porno from one of my buddies and decided to watch it on a Friday night. My parents were gone for the weekend and both my sisters took advantage of that and were staying at their boyfriends. So, JJ FRENCH decides to hot knife some hash and get obliterated, and watch Porsche Lynn get bent over a car and fucked gigantically. As I never got to be alone, jacking off was always done with pants around the ankle in a furious race to the finish . Not this time. I fucking romanced myself. I was stoned, I stole a luke warm beer and got buck fucking naked. I put a sheet on the couch so I wouldn't leave fecal snail trails from my dirty ass on the cream coloured cushions. I had never even got to see more than 2 minutes of porn before, so I was fucking dumbfounded at what these chicks would do. I blow a load in the first 5 minutes. 30 minutes later I rustle up another. By this time, I'm exhausted...but Porsche Lynn is now doing 2 guys at once! 2 guys at fucking once!!! So I dig down deep into my 14 year old fuzzy bean bag and end up spewing into my own belly button insetad of my jizz rag. I must have passed out at that point, because one of my sisters started screaming and laughing at me with her boyfriend...just because I was lying naked on my parents couch with a shrivelled dick and bellybutton crusted over with man batter.

My sister told my other sister and they decided to extort me for cleaning services and going to the store for them.