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Old 05-14-2008, 02:23 AM   #13 (permalink)
Soma
Breathe the body deep, kaleidoscope & candle eyes.
 
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 1,561
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I like the way these stories are worded but they go nowhere. There's a ton of buildup as if there's going to be some profound lesson and then it's just...nothing. And not even a good "nothing", as some "nothing" endings are profound in and of themselves because they force you to reflect on things you wouldn't normally consider. However these stories just end up coming off as pretentious and empty. Hopefully the author will change this because as I said I really do like the wording.
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I danced until midnight when the sky turned black,
It is hard to dance with the devil on your back.
They buried my body and thought I had gone,
But I am the dance and I still go on.
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