[PHD_in_8_Limbs]

Originally Posted by svoss03

Since I don’t think any one I know would even begin to understand where I am coming from I thought I was on my own... Until I realized this forum would be a good place to ask. Awesome epiphany.

My fight game is aggressive. I was at a time, well accustomed to fighting in the street, a few times in what I thought was life or death. I am older and wiser now but this instinct is still alive in me and I am trying to control/harness my inner aggression. Some of you may understand what I am saying others will have no idea, hell maybe I really am alone on this? Those who do know what I am talking about might recall a time or two where it did not matter if you lived or died, what injuries you may sustain or what condition you were in after the fact. What mattered was taking out the enemy because they were your enemy.

I feel like there is a point of no turning back, a switch that gets turned on that I do not have any control over. Not that my skills go out the window, but I almost feel like I loose my mind. It is a great feeling. No fear, no pain, no thoughts, just action. It is when I am at my best, doing what I was born to do. Zen.

The problem for me is bringing this into sparring. I honestly don’t want to admit it because to some it would seem conceited, but I am afraid to let go for fear of what I would do. I’ve seen the consequences of my thoughtless actions and have hurt people in ways much worse than physical pain. On the other side of the coin, there are times when I need to be able to respond, counter and strike like I would if I were in a street fight or cage match. I need to be able to be more aggressive with some of my training partners but I don’t do it because I think they will push back and push me to the point where I snap.

I don’t know, it’s like a love hate thing. If I like you I don’t want to hurt you, so I don’t want to go there. If I don’t like you, then fine, lets get it on and FUCK YOU if you die.

Should I go see a shrink, let loose on my training partners and let them be the ones to decide if they should push any further or is there an answer.

Is there a way to harness uninhibitedly that inner demon and then learn to control it effectively or should I just let it out? I really feel like just saying fuck you if you cant hang but I have learned a thing or 2 over the years.

The reason this comes up is because one of my training partners has a hard time controlling his anger and power. He has recently pissed me off by taking it too hard to a few new guys and almost pushed me to that “snapping point” last time we sparred. I am glad though, because without these recent events I would not be asking for advice right now.

Any body else as fucked up in the head?

No, I'm not fucked up. You just need a good old fashioned ass whooping to get that aggression in check. You are the type of individual that makes sparring a waste of time, and dangerous. You can control it, you just don't want to.