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Lafeverish
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Your Lyoto Sonnet Runner-Up, Conan the Burberryan, Whose Piece Got Mangled On Air, Which I Apologize For
My heart stay true, I know I'm not homo
But the one that captivates has a tool
The undefeated man known as Lyoto
Has me falling in love like a damn fool
His crisp counterstriking is such a sight
He's so evasive it's like a facade
Half-Japanese Half-Brazilian delight
I say Arigato and Obrigad
You beat Bonnar and Penn, you knocked out Ace
But these insolent knaves say that you bore
To ignore your beauty is a disgrace
I do cherish you, make me your man-whore
Lyoto Machida, I want to jack off
He's mine, so you bitches better back off
Your Lyoto Sonnet Winner and MMA Poet Laureate, Paul from Chicago
An ode to the unsung counterstriker
Cry doubters "He's too small for 205"
With the gas tank of an EPO'd cycler
The speed and wits 'til decision survive
I write of conquests, let me tell ya lad
He once left Bonnar's visage sanguine red
And Nakamura who umbrella had
But Lyoto Batman knocked Penguin dead
BJ was found to be out-boxed, out-gassed
A vicious knee collapsed Rich Franklin's face
Obscurity shall be left in the past
These few wins make a Sherdog rankings case
Forum faux pas, we no longer need ya:
Starting threads that ask "Who is Machida?"
The Rest That Followed Format
Substance and style are the two things that
When joined with both skill and training create
A man of incomparable strength. What
Then be the measure by which we he rate?
Should one be judged for his ability
To stop his foe? Or should it be the fight?
If a war'ior wins with agility
Should that not be his choosing and his right?
Let not the boredom of decisions be,
Your only impression. For it's the fight
But not the finish where we truly see
The mettle and power of a man's might.
So while some say he's a bitch like She-ra,
Not I, I love Lyoto Machida.
O Ryoto Lyoto Machida
People say his style is temptation
O but the U-F-C really needs ya.
The light heavy is a big sensation.
Wins over Franklin and Bonnar and more
Including "The Prodigy" B.J. Penn
And his style is far from just a bore
His opponents are like pigs in a pen.
Helping save PRIDE since it seems like a joke.
Since most of their fighters seem to dope up.
Unlike Liddell no wins by the eye poke.
With eleven fights Machida's no pup.
After his last win he should get a rank.
He will hold the belt; take it to the bank.
From his first win against Wantabe
Lyoto showed us what he had in store
Fans jeered but that's the way its gonna be
He knocked Out Franklin and we wanted more
Lyoto then tried out a guillotine
A round one victory left us no doubt
A crowd pleaser he burst upon the scene
Melting them like icecream he had the clout
Met Greco and BJ Penn in K-1
Lyoto was sseen on sherdog.net
Back to decisions because they're more fun
Nutthuggers proclaimed he is a sure bet
All the judges love Mr. Machida
He passed the test not smoking the weeda
While the love that I have for Lyoto,
Is the same love I have for mollasses.
Counterstrikes for eventual deathblows,
Switch for sugar in baked goods kicks asses.
There are those who would chastize and mock him,
Though his patience is the biggest virtue.
And Joe Rogan would ask him to weight-trim,
Trim instead Nakamura's new hair-do.
Although Machida, I must implore you,
Exciting fights bring fans and good fortune.
Spinning backfists will make them adore you,
And to those that dispute, here's my caution:
His next fights will possess as much boredom,
As Jardine's future son's will have handsome.
Lyoto Machida: so fucking sweet
Today about him is that which I talk
From now on he's gonna turn up the heat
If you fight him you'll be outlined with chalk
Deaf folk hearing him, blind folk seeing him
He's just like the word kill, minus the K
His opponents? I'm feeling bad for them
He brings it real: Shotokan Karate
Try to strike him and eat a nasty kick
Just like the word basic, minus B-A
To him you're just a dog, and he's Mike Vick
Think he's ridin' dirty? There ain't no way.
I'm no psychic but his future is clear;
World champion by the end of next year
Born in the heart of Salvador, Brazil
to be the son of a karate master
he was carefully imparted with skills
that for foes would mean certain disaster
dangerous yet beautiful on the feet
with shotokan and now the art of jits
for the purists he delivers a treat
yet will cause his opponents to have fits
it took Inoki to notice the talent
that led to the besting of BJ Penn
and make Silva's Franklin beating look scant
the belt will be his, it's not if, but when
whilst some find him to be painful like cramp
please rise for the next light heavyweight champ
Machida you spin fast for point display,
Balance most cautious, L- stance resolute.
Breen and Josh Gross folly the other day,
In choosing thee against Houston the brute
Using angles countering with fast strikes,
Ryoto stays cat-like super nimble.
Run- beware the disc jock off of his mike!!!!
Uppercut connects, consciousness dwindles.
Laying on the mat, the lights fizz back on,
The Karate Kid feels a numbing head.
Trying to stand, legs wobbly like a fawn,
Perhaps tomorrow he aught stay in bed..
Analogy echoes, time allows this pass,
In their prime, Iron Mike stomps Ali’s ass!
So what, C peo-ples has to do his job
What is his purpose, if not to judge fights?
my own opinion is hes a dumb slob
i'm sad he might judge as well with out lights.
counterpunch and weave with amazing grace.
opponents chase him to little avail,
he will steal your win and your parking space,
you'll look retarded and slow as a snail.
why do they complain, but nut hug the heat?
always says he'll win, in a fancy way
but he's only finished one in u f c
and saying the word fancy well, is gay.
wins are wins even without broken bones.
just bleed guy will have to swallow his jones.
In and out the warrior strikes like a cat
Taking his time to scratch and bite his prey
He truly is a legend in combat
For he wins his fights without lay and pray
Machida is rising high like a big star
He has beaten greats like Franklin and Penn
These wins put him in the passenger’s car
With all these wins we will see him again
I hope everyone will not be cheated
Because he’s not a wild maniac
He is a winner and undefeated
He is not a megalomaniac
No more just bleed guy in today’s fighting
Just keep on winning and it’s exciting
His Karate yield and elusive style.
He beats down Rich Franklin at Bom-Ba-Ye,
punching and kicking with Brazilian guile.
Lyoto, a warrior god be thee.
At K-1 Hero's, B.J.'s weight did swell.
Lyoto controls the rounds with his grace.
As judged by the three, the Hawaiian fell.
All who face Machida's will, meet disgrace.
Nakamura is here, promising pain.
But Japan's 'pride' meets aggressive defeat.
Umbrellas will not stop Machida's reign.
Lyoto will sweep Judo off its feet.
What awaits this great legend before us?
All his decisions made unanimous.
Machida, Machida -- pinpoint striker
Delivers his kicks with such precision
It's such a shame that the fans don't like ya
Because all your fights end in decision.
"Finish, don't go the distance," critics said.
"No one's paying big bucks for three-rounders
In a weight class where one shot to the head
Puts you atop the 205-pounders."
Alexander's flex after a knockout
Howls and scowls from Rampage make him a star.
Other ranked fighters get trounced, then drop out
While you, undefeated, stay where you are.
So, WAR Machida, ain't mad at your style.
Sign fights, win fights, get the money, then smile.
His Karate yield and elusive style.
He beats down Rich Franklin at Bom-Ba-Ye,
punching and kicking with Brazilian guile.
Lyoto, a warrior god be thee.
At K-1 Hero's, B.J.'s weight did swell.
Lyoto controls the rounds with his grace.
As judged by the three, the Hawaiian fell.
All who face Machida's will, meet disgrace.
Nakamura is here, promising pain.
But Japan's 'pride' meets aggressive defreat.
Umbrellas will not stop Machida's reign.
Lyoto will sweep Judo off its feet.
What awaits this great legend before us?
All his decisions made unanimous.
Mr. Machida is like no other,
Even Nakamura could not stop him;
He had Hoger crying for his mother,
And sent Heath crawling back into the gym.
Counter striking is part of his mad skills.
Kicks, knees, elbows is what he is about.
Franklin fought Lyoto to pay the bills,
And ended up getting KTF-OUT!
My man-love for Machida is not known,
So I am entering a lame contest.
I already have a Lyoto gnome,
So a cool Pride DVD would be best.
Lyoto Machida is a machine.
Excuse me while I get the Vaseline.
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