[RaposaBJJ]

Originally Posted by Lubaolong

I already have. After my grandmother died and I started freaking out I talked with some professionals, got some medication.. and I'm doing better now. I'm still very stressed and worried about my future.

These things are easy for you to say because you aren't living here in my life. The closest people in my life (my grandparents) are gone. I'm not that close with my parents. I feel like I have no one except my wife. I don't want to disappoint them and I want my family to have everything I can give to them. After my grandparents died, we spent a week or so staying at my sisters house. Going from her lifestyle back to mine is horrible. My sister just moved, built a $1 million dollar office building, and a $800k house. And in her area, that's a HUGE house. It's almost 10k sq ft. She has her own practice, thousands of patients, her and her fiance work a normal 9-5 job, sometimes she works a little later.. and they make a shit load of money. They blow more money a year on useless crap that I can make. I'm busting my tail doing jobs I hate with all my being, working 60+ hours a week sometimes, trying to make $200k. Spending a week living with her, doing the things they do, shopping like they shop.. then coming back to my lifestyle.. it's really hard. I don't have any money to blow. I'm finished working for right now and I'm trying my best to save to buy a semi decent house that's not falling apart when we move and not go into debt while we take 3 years off to go to school. I don't know if we'll ever get where I want to be. Maybe I'm destined for mediocracy.

lol Don't ever post here again.