[graedy]

Sounds good man. I would say that everytime you dont feel happy for some time its just time to change something. The happiest and most impressive persons I ever met were always the least dogmatic.

- Squats 8x3x100kg [1min break between sets. Nice. High density. High volume. And still the weight is light enough to focus on good form. Exactlly what I need for the squat.]

- BP 6x90kg [the one or two workset method always brought me the best results with my pressign movements. So I go back to that.]

- Incline BP 6x75+kg [Was one of the selfmade bars so I dont know the exact barweight]

- Upperbackstuff consisting of Pullups, chin ups, towel pullups

I used 5kg of weight for the Upperbackstuff later on. Why? beacause I almost blacked out doing 15+ reps. I had some very "bloody" days recentlly and my HB probably dropped below 9. This leads to my pulse going up to "heart wants to hop out of my mouth" and stay there for a long time. So when the time under tension is too long I get light headed and need several minutes to get the pulse down afterwards. So its better to stay under 12 reps with more weight and like being able to perform more sets in less time.
But all in all this taught me a lesson. As much as I would like to perform the 100kgx20 squats set this year I wont go for it no matter what. Why? Because I am now at the point that I want to live. I want to live even with this disease. And with such a low HB I run a high risk of fucking up my heart pushing myself too much. If I get my HB at 9.5 or better over 10. I promise that I will go for the 20reps. Im still all for breaking walls. But sometimes one strong, wisely planned hit against a wall is worth more than two medicore ones.
If I want to live it is about time to accept that Im not the unbeatable graedy anymore and will probably never be again.
The lifelong dogma of an only worthy life with physical strength and brainpower falls. The old me dies. It is that close to surrender. Maybe its the only way to be happy again. Ever.